THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over- unless very good and needs to be repeated in the morning.
2.No meeting in public-except to get drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9pm-we don't have shit to talk about.
4.It is not "LOVEMAKING"- only vigorous mind blowing sex allowed.
5. No EMOTIONAL discussions(i.e. Where are we going with this? Do you love me?) THE answer is NO so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance- That is why you are called "THE BACK-UP"
7. ALL GIFTS ARE ACCEPTED- money is best.
8. NO baby talk shit- Dirty talk on the other hand is welcome.
9. No asking for comparisons with other partners- NUN YA BIDNESS.
10. WE are not "Friends with Priviledges"- We are not friends, we know each other and we happen to fuck on occasion.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is ok- Do not get offended.
12. No extra clothing- I don't want shit of yours "forgotten" when you leave.
13.No sleeping right after sex- Its OVER, get up and LEAVE.
14. Don't be offended if i don't ask if you enjoyed it- I DO NOT CARE.
15. You cannot borrow anything from me at any point in time.
16. Bring your own drink- I am not a liquor/convenience store.
17. Use of my phone is not permitted- I do not want anyone calling back looking for your ass.
EXTRA TIPS FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of this agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this agreement, it will become null and void. You will then be placed in social solitare and removed from all ways of contact until your stupid ass can understand the rules.
PARTICIPATING PARTY ..1:
Name:_____________________________________
PARTICIPATING PARTY ..2:
Name:_____________________________________
This agrrement has been entered into on the _____ day of _____, 20_____.
