StraightUpCricket's blog: "Pondering in the Dark."

Love. What a wonderful and confusing feeling it is. As much as I guarded my heart against it, Love crept in and I fell head over heals. How do you tell someone that you love that it hurts really bad when they leave? That it feels awesome when they are around without sounding like you need them 24/7? I feel positive that he was sent from heaven at a perfect time in my life, yet I do not think it was a perfect time in his. Part of me wants to keep walking down this lovely road and see what path our lives take together, yet a small cautious part of me wants to wait.....wait till he gets things in order and can truely be there for me and we can date like a normal couple. Normal has never been my strong suit though. What is normalcy anyways? Is it conforming to traditional methods and wisdoms? One thing is for sure.....Love is confusing. And I do not know what is right or wrong anymore. Maybe I am just being a Drama Queen tonight, but I am not going to hold back my feelings.

Reflecting over the past 3 months of my life tonight has really got me thinking about all kinds of stuff. I have stopped trying to make sense of why things happen and have started to just accept that things must have happened for a reason. I Love who I am as a person and love the fact that life itself forces you to change in the most wonderful ways in order to grow, become stronger, love and be loved. An independent woman, single mother, college student. I know what I would like to do with my life in general. Helping people and making them feel better has always been what has made me happy. I like who I have become over the years, and hope to add to that in the years to come. My hope for the future is to stay true to myself, follow my heart, be more open and in tune with how I am feeling, speak up for myself when I feel I have been wronged, take more chances, and work on my outer self as well as my inner self. Well, that is my life at the moment. I love every minute of it.