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ReddSW's blog: "poetry"

created on 12/10/2010  |  http://fubar.com/poetry/b338208

The End

my mind is workin like a slave coincidentally so am i butsin my ass as much as i can just so that when i die people have a reason to miss me have somethin good that they can mention when their standin at the podium theres no awkward pauses or hesitation but right now as it stands theres not much that can be said no children in my life my little brother get all the bread iv had death wished appon me and almost seen it come to fruition iv had people take they shots but miss me in the end some tried to run me over threaten to have me wacked but the only worry in mind is the fuckers over in Iraq my hole plan of attack is to prepair for the worse im doin what i must even if it hurts if it means rippin off a limb in order to save the core then so be it im sorry right arm your services are no more ill train to use my left. this old dog is goin to learn cause ill be damned if no one remembers me after my body is set to burn.
its enought to make you black out pull the Desi out. load it aim and shoot. its the comin of the black cloud... spewin from my ears dont ask how... turn and run to the point you wana pass out. i had enought dats why im snapped now got the Desi out. everywhere i go man im followed by this black cloud... wont be happy till im burned out... i cant reat till it burnsout. warning signs were clear as crystal so soft music is what i listen to. too much time to think alot. hurry up and wait is what i had to do. so i watched my world turn in tha faces of clocks 1 o'clock 3 o'clock 5 o'clock FUCK! my pacense wore thin my fews was shortinin my thick skin cracked and my happy mask was broken then my ears started smokin my vision darkend onlookers say im posessed cause my face was hardened stole look of a killer with the matchin straight eyes brim low fitted with the darkenin skys. Desert Eagle palmed left Raggin Bull in my right. walkin slow, thriller killer shootin whomever in my sight. its enought to make you black out pull the Desi out. load it aim and shoot. its the comin of the black cloud... spewin from my ears dont ask how... turn and run to the point you wana pass out. i had enought dats why im snapped now got the Desi out. everywhere i go man im followed by this black cloud... wont be happy till im burned out... i cant reat till it burnsout. drove to this insanity nobodys understandin me i no longer have controle the black cloud is commandin me. its carbon killed my soul my mind is now vacant. a mindless souless hartless body roams around this planet pointin aimin shootin killin everythin it passin i see it hear it feel it smell it but theres nothin i can do this monster you see here today stems from all of you betrayal decite all the lies and all the shit collected over time not the result of it is this. its enought to make you black out pull the Desi out. load it aim and shoot. its the comin of the black cloud... spewin from my ears dont ask how... turn and run to the point you wana pass out. i had enought dats why im snapped now got the Desi out. everywhere i go man im followed by this black cloud... wont be happy till im burned out... i cant reat till it burnsout.

... Good Enough...

... Never good enough... Thats not good enough. Grew up with the mindset that my efforts wernt good enough. So i slaved, tried to make it better. Breakin every bone in my hands just to scrape up some chetter. ... Thats the same as paper for thoes of you who understand that better. People come and go but im followed by the weather. ... Its another cloudy day. Cant tell when night falls cause it all looks the same. So i race the hands of time. Scramblin trynin to get it done and make it happen cause its always fourth down in my mind. But.... Nothings ever good enough... I dropped the ball short and they scooped it up. Fought to get it back and fucked it up. Now im back at yard one.... what the fuck? Here we goe again. Dejavo is in my sight and so it the same faces of old "friends". But... I follow that golden rule. Still i try to play it cairfully as to not be take for a fool. Hike the ball, start the play. My star player lets one thro. I see the enemy comein, what do i do? Pass the ball, let it fly straight to the chest of my 2 man. Makes the catch hands it off the rivalrys hands. Cant believe what im seein, I take face to the stance. Coach is in a rant like she spilled coffie on her pants. Calls a T.O. pulls the team to the side. Grabs me by the colar and looke me dead in the eye. With a stern voice says, "Do it all yourself cause your team is fried!" Now its back to the feild, just the center and I. Hike the ball start the play, i didnt know i could fly. Breakin tackles and dodgein bullets, Now the endzones in sight. ...Noth good enoght... Of corse i wasent good enought... I tried too hard and relied on other they... hell i was beatin myself up. You what it done right you gotta do it yourself. With that bein said i can prove that im better than good enough.

Off My Chest

Many times my name leaves lips with minds that know nothing in witch they speak apon. Everytime i catch wind of it, its something new like the morning dawn. A new day begins but the same old trash continue. Stop eating that garbage, order something new off the menu. But this is what your into. Your ears open to the gossip. The nonsense of these fools who say anything to anyone for a desired response out if you... Thats a trip. A car rides by. Its music trustpast my walls. The voice of Jay-Z speaing about making tears fall. The same here appies. I cant see them coming dotn my eyes. So i gotta make this poem cry. Love is a crule force. It ments twon into one hart. Once it gets tired it rips that connection apart. The test of true love is how easy u let go. The truest is like antimantium. It wont break bend or fold. In the begining is the weakest, Only because thats when you mold. But once it hardens thats it. Youl love to watch each other grow old. Thats not always the case. ... I wont get much deeper. Iv done everything and more. Alas. It seems fate wont let me keep her. My whole swag got switch. I admit, part of me has died. But even looking in the mirror i cant see them coming down my eyes. So i gotta make this poem cry. ....i dont think im done....

Ups And Down

Iv lost a lot of sleep
Cause of current events.
The joy that I had,
Came slower than it went.
I found a good women,
Thought she was heaven descent.
But Karma is cock blocking,
Got me fighting again.
All I want is attention.
A little appreciation.
A chance at something good,
I know I got the dedication.
My co workers, my friends,
Even my fam.
Stand by and watch me.
They just want to see me damned!
They cant stand to see me stand.
I need some help,
But they wont take my hand.
That’s ok,
Now I understand.
Ill climb to the top wit my own tow hands.
Iv fought too for too long.
Iv proved myself to be strong.
And it will be a cold day in hell,
Before I let someone prove me wrong.
I know what Iv earned.
I know what I want.
I know what I can do.
And I wont front.
For the first time in years,
Iv got a crush.
Its been some years sense Iv been crushed!
Man I got to get her.
I wont let him stop me!
She’s on my mind like crazy.
He’s on my ass constantly!
I cant let her go.
I cant shake him off!
Iv got to let her know.
Iv got to get him off!
Iv got to meet her standards.
I tried to meet his!
I’m coyote she’s road runner.
I’m his F--king kid!
I’m the better man.
The master at what I do.
I’m a busy man,
But I can make time for you.
I only ask for a chance.
Can I chill with you?
As for the man that calls himself Father.
I should have left you where you was.
Why did I bother?
We had a set deal.
I wasn’t going to come back.
But we changed anyway,
In hopes to change that.
I should have known better,
You’ll always be you.
Destroying kids lives,
But I belonged to you!
I cane from you!
And this is what you do?
Shameful!
Someone need to destroy you,
Like Kane did Able.
I would do it.
But I have better plans.
There are fare better things,
I can do with there hands.
Maybe you’ll see one day.
Maybe God will show you.
Maybe you’ll finally open your eyes,
To the thing I tried to show you.
Maybe you’ll die,
Blind to my greatness.
Your son is a master,
I’m what you where tried to make us.

A Joy I Felt

She’s amazing! She’s perfect!
She’s everything I dreamed!
Sophisticated, attractive,
She’s everything that she seems!
I looked in her eyes,
I was at a los-for-words.
I still couldn’t speak,
Even afterwards.
I was out of my mind,
I thought I was crazy before.
She had me all fuzzy,
I was cocky before.
I stay ready for war.
She put a stop to that.
She pulled it out of my core.
None of that was allowed,
It stayed outside the door.
The haterid, the grudge,
The brolic attitude,
The violence, the Marine,
The ghetto nigga called Luke.
She wanted Elliot,
That part of me nobody know.
She wanted to see the hidden man,
Like that was her goal.
She got it for show.
I was putty in her hand.
I always thought,
I was a uncontrolled man.
She shocked me,
I shocked her.
She surprised me,
I amazed her.
I did all that I can,
To show her my worth.
Said I was waiting for her,
Sense the day of my birth.
For the day I was a Smerf.
I felt so little.
I did and said things,
That was just strait pitiful.
But, what’s done is done.
Its in a page of history.
She’s not other girls,
She’s not out dissing me.
Im thinking of her,
She maybe thinking of me.
I love how she felt in my arms,
The food she fed to me.
How she was cool in her ways,
And the things she said to me.
To look in her eyes,
Put a smile on my face.
I swear ill do anything,
Ill rob that place,
Ill get in a high speed chase.
Ill slow down my pace,
Anything for your grace.
Your time, your space,
That ever-loving grace.

Ima bend you at the waist, bust ya pussy wide open.
I can see it n her face, girl that pussy must be chokin. [Ha]
You can see it in her face, this nikka here isnt jokin.
She never do drugs, but when im done shell b smokin. Blazin!
Gettin higher than the stars in space.
Cuz that pussy got blazzed, she stairen lookin Spaced. Dazed!
Put her on a plate and ill eat her when its late.
She dnnt need no other nikka, im her perfect match and mate.
She likin how I work cuz im cleanin off her slate.
And she soakin wet with liquid like a captan and 1st mate. Drownin!


I dont know how to quit. I can never back down.
Ima keep da fight goin past da billionth roun'.
Half what you said, ok its aight.
I get da point bay. You say ya pussy tight.
But the toung here crazy. They try to put me on meds.
And da dick game insane. Im known to bogle heads.
Just alil side note. I like them "boggle heads".
I love to giggle titties. and love breadin beds. [haha]

Suicide

Life goes on so my body is on auto pilot with no effort it flows with the traffic of everyday life.
My mind however, races like street cars at night.
Some nights, I look up and focus on the stars far away light.
I could shout into the air but no one will hear.
If I get into a jam, will no one will be there..? Damn, no one is here.
In this world ever changing, nothing is fair.
The harder I fight I can’t stop the stress from pulling my hair.
I fight the world on my own… Guess it doesn’t matter…. -Sigh-
I could shout in the air. Cry out in fear.
But alas it won’t matter. If no one cares, then no one will hear.
With that said, I let my pen meet my liver.
And with the blood ink that it leaks, these words I deliver.
"I loved, I fought, I bled now I die."
I can only look back at life as I face the sky.
Then I think to myself; I hope my soul can fly.
I’ve turned the other cheek and forgave the unforgivable.
Not much for going to church but still I was spiritual.
My hart made me lyrical and my passion was in vision.
Animations entertainment…. What a life I could have been living.
Now, my last vision is the stars far away light.
For what seem like hours its glow is the focus of my sight.
With my last breath I release a silent shout in the air. A cry out in fear.
But alas... It doesn’t matter. No one cares…No one hears.

Dead Man Walkin...

Love is beautiful... At that point in time.
But cupid is a theaf, she stole this hart of mine.
Im left motionless in pain.
My sole at rest.
Mind gone insane.
Thought I was the best.
I am... F*ck that!
Grab on to something.
Pull myself to my feet.
Ignore the pain its nothing.
Build up mi strength.
Staggered bleeding and stumbling.
No breath, black bags under my eyes.
Just a dead man wlaking.
No words, just looks.
Thats a dead man tlaking.
Trail of blood left behind.
Keep on wlaking.
People see opportunity.
Betrayed by brothers.
Abandoned by friends.
Attacked by others.
I feel so alone.
Just me and my wounds.
On one side, DEATH.
On the other is DOOM.
A door up ahead that leads to a room.
In front of it, a b*tch in black sitting on a broom.
Birds circle over head.
Vaultures and crows.
Iv seen this before.
Where? I dont know...
They shown me the door.
But I have to wlak threw it.
The pain unbearable but I cant quit.
I want do it.
They want to see me die.
Roll over and quit.
As long as I have blood to spill, I aint havin that sh-t.
Ill jus have a hole in my chest.
Mortal Kombat's "Hsu Hou".
Fighting to the end.
Yup. "Finish him", Now!
Got my own house.
How many of you can say that?
I keep a good shape but eat like im fat. -haha-
Got a job, go to school.
Are you getting all of that?
Yall treated me like a fool.
I forgive you for that.
Yes forgive not forget.
Im not taking u back.
I turn the other cheek.
Momma still teaching me that.
I know she saved my life.
I almost lost it...
My mind... my health...
Damn im so sick.
So sick of the pain.
Tired of talking.
Sick of back stabbers and traitors.
This blood im spitting and coughing.
If I stop then im trapped in a tunnel of treason.
So of cores I push on.
For obvious reasons.
I wrote This on the move.
Theese the things that I thought and,
I had to bleed out the pain of a Dead Man Walking.

What A Wondering Mind...

I cant focus on sleep. My mind is steady on the run.
Sometimes i catch myelf laughing like this shit is fun.
Dont ever say "thats dumb" cause half of you do the same thing.
Or something close like shouting in the hall like you can sing.
Put a sock in it and duck tape it.
People will read this and critialy ass rape it.
But these are my thoughts.
On screen froze in time.
This is for all to see so call it open mind.
Yall seem froze in time. More like stuck in your ways.
And everyone wants to be the "Tuff Guy" now a days.
We got good people moving away to look for brighter days.
Because these children today are being f8cking gay.
These women think that we are all tha same.
Because these "players" and "pimps" live a life of shame.
And real men all around are gettin screwed.
Getting chewed up and spat out like a bad bowl of beef stew.
What to do? No one trust another.
The truest woman in my life is... MY MOTHER!
F*cking crushed by my own brother.
Everyone else ran so i cant count on the others.
Im the only one that stuck around and delt with my dad.
Despite all that iv done... -f*ck- He still mad.
Been a loner for years but now im just annoyed.
My temper is rebuilding... And i still aint deployed!
BUT! No time for anger. Iv got sh!t to do.
Work this job fix this house and take my ass to school.
"Im focused maaan!" Well im trying anyway.
And again I dont want your criticism.
So f*ck what you got to say.
This is from the depths of my mind threw my arms off my fingers to the top,
Of the keyboard on witch the net reseaves the messege I send from this comp.
Wanting more out of this b*tch called life, I give her all I got.
I give her what she needs deal with the stress and what not.
If life give me white, ima put it in a pot.
If she give me green, ima roll it in a not.
Or if she give me "green", ima put it in a bag.
Use it to get green and buy a lewy rag.
Take my girl shopping and tell her to just throw it in the bag.
But these girs be destracted, they cant focus on they man.
So stuck on themeselves and what they want,
They cant see what they hand.
They want to be happy but it then turns to greed.
Its like spoon feeding a whale. You forever gotta feed.
Its never enough, no matter what you do.
I see the heads nodding agreements and lips saying. "True. True."
But i can see her head shaking "Man f*ck this n*gga."
Thats a high school attitude, I know im way bigger.
And These high school n*kkas swear dey way bigger.
Think you so bad cause you squeesed one trigger.
UUUGH!! Cant focus! Im getting cluded with emothion.
So ima bring this to a stop like a d!ck in dry p*ssy and no lotion...
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