Emotions, to many to count all in my head screaming, yelling, and they all have questions. I have no answers. I’m just as confused as they come. I’m always wanting but never getting. It’s so close I can almost see it. “NO”, they say. “You can’t have it.” “Why?” I say. They turn away. “Why?” They don’t look me in the eye. “Why?” I cry.
It’s so close I can almost see it, touch it, smell it, and taste it. Make it stop. I think too much. It seems like all of these things are just clouding my head.
What do the want from me? I have nothing to take. I hold on to my pride, that you cannot have. I hold on to my love, what’s left of it anyway. “It’s mine”, I say. I give and I give. What’s left? What’s mine? You take and you take.
Your pockets full, seems busting. Your hands are full of me, my life, my fight and my light.
My eyes full of hurt, fear, and disgust. My heart is running on empty. The sign says no more, stores closed, and your credit just ran out.
”Give it back”, I say. Give it back that’s all I have or just take my life you have everything else. I can no longer live in this half wake, half sleep, almost dead but still alive.
I gave myself to you. You just took it. That smile on your face, that pleasure in your voice, that lust in your eye. Your love ran dry.
“You put yourself there”, they say. “Its your fault”, they say. “You’re the only one to blame”, they say. “Why?” I cry. I only wanted to be needed, to be wanted, to be held, to be kissed, to be touched, to be liked, to have a body on top of mine, to be pleased, to be pleasured, all I wanted was to be cared for.
Show no emotion. I’m so good at that. Both know it’s there but only one is scared.
“You knew from the beginning”, they said. “I know. I know, I know, and I understand”, I say.
“Do you, do you really understand”?
My hands are closed on my ears shaking my head in disbelief.
Emotions, to many to count, they all have questions and I have no answers
