Knut's blog: "Poetry"

Its now a year that you've been gone. In my heart your memory goes on. Not an hour goes by that you're not missed. Its been too long since my forehead you kissed. I think about you everyday, Still waiting for time to take my heartache away. 53 is much too young. You were only on life's middle rung. Why you had to leave me is still a mystery, But your life will always be part of my history. Honesty, Integrity, Honor and Family... These are all things you taught me. Daily I struggle with making the right choice, I really miss the sound of your voice... Telling me your ideas, opinions and such, God, I never imagined I could miss someone so much. You taught me how to love by loving me unconditionally, Now that you are gone, I wonder if anyone loves me for me. You showed me how to trust, over and over again, Never allowing myself to turn my back on a friend. I'm struggling, Dad, with my everyday life. Most days I'm not sure I can handle the strife. There are times as of late, I wished I could just quit. But its those times when I know you would say, "knock off this shit!" You'd tell me that tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start, But seriously, Dad, I'm giving life all of my heart. You left me alone, without a guide, Now I just want to run and hide. I'm trying to do the best that I can do, But somehow its never enough to measure up to you. You took life by the horns regardless if you got stuck, But here I am, knee deep in muck. I could use your advice now more than ever. But you're gone now, and will be forever. So tell me, Dad, how do I get through life's crap? I feel like I'm caught in a never ending trap. Its been this way all of my life as you know, But at least in the past you were there to soften the blow. I want to stand on my own two feet for a while, Just long enough to make you smile. Help me, Dad, I cant do it on my own. I'm still your child even though I'm grown. Send me your wisdom, your advice, your love. Just send me some guidence from above. I'm right here waiting, treading in hot water, Please send some help to your flailing daughter! Written for my dad, 10/10/2006 RIP Daddy

Here I sit, it is almost night, Looking up at the dusky blue of the twilight. The end of today is coming fast, What little light remains won't last. The night's air is becoming chilly. Cover up your shoulders and you'll be ok, really. Tomorrow is a new beginning for us all, Or is it? What if one of us is about to fall? Our days are filled with so many faces; At home, on the street, in all different places. Some of them we know well, others are fleeting. Would anyone notice if one heart stopped beating? How long would it take for someone to say, "Hey, have you heard from so-and-so today?" Not all of us will rise with the dawn. Only morning will tell which of us will be gone. So if there's someone you love in your life, Be it a friend, a sister, a son or a wife, Let them know now how you feel. The sun is setting; Twilight is real. I wrote this after my father died, and I dedicated it to him, and to all of the loved ones we lose each day... You can view this and many other poems at www.poetry.com. My poems can be found by searching for me, under my full name ... Barbara JoAnn Johnson. I will be submitting more soon.