heartsMiss Murder in disguisehearts's blog: "poetry/short story ideas"

Over a year has passed since I last saw your face, I never even though to utter a sylable of your name. However, you haunt me in my most secret place, I don't know why these feelings still remain. We put each other through so much in so little time The frustration, abuse, and pain. I hate you for you took something of mine, Yet I do not know why these feelings still remain

Ok guys, this is not going to be written up for drama purposes, this is to give you( the general public) a view into my life and see what I have seen in my short 19 years of life. I'm not asking you to read on or to rate or to comment, all I am asking for is a little respect, which i feel that you the reader, as a human being, will be able to do so. I had your basic happy storybook childhood. Parents who loved me, a beagle named Boa, and a baby sister on the way. But i knew that at the beginning when i first started school, i knew i was different. I couldn't quite talk right and it took me a long time to learn how to hold a pencil and write. Doctors had told my parents that I had some slight form of autism (Wish i could meet those doctors now) and would have pretty much sucky motor and communication skills for the rest of my life. In short, at the age of five, I was considered a freak by the other children. I was alone most of the time so i spent my time riding my bike or playing with Boa. When I was old enough, I started to play softball. I was so happy because I felt like I had found something i could exceed at. But my happiness was not to last. When I was nine years old, my mom and dad started to have problems. My dad would just lash out on me and we still have problems to this day. My dad had also left at around this time. My mom was really upset and would get very angry over little things. I fell further into my isolation, forcing myself to learn how to hold a pencil and write almost perfectly. I would write rhyming words and i would stay up til all hours and read. My mom eventually noticed something was still wrong with me and took me to a number of shrinks. They had determined that I may have bi-polar disorder or some form of depression. From then on, I knew that one of my only escapes were the words i was still struggling to write because I knew that they were my only friends who could see me. Part 2 coming soon

A day like any other One that no one thought would be out of the ordinary Another day of school, the beginning of a workweek Little did we know that millions of strangers Would become one voice in a matter of hours. Shock and disbelief would register on the faces of all For many, so would the agony of loss We watched as millions perished We heard as strangers became one We saluted those who risked their lives to save others. We thought we would never see or hear the end We were right. . . Six years later, much has changed Arriving three hours early for your flights And another three packing and re-packing your bags Six years ago, we lost brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, children Six years later, we continuew to lose family and friends Six years ago, we were told we would not falter Six years later, we stand strong Six years ago, we writhered in pain and disbelief Six years later, We still stand strong.

Laying in the aftermath of my destruction The dialtone still in my ear My soul poured out all over the floor A beauty thought to be endless This angel of innocence and simplicity Has a dirty face and an endless black soul A lonely heart rots into a forgotten black lump In the middle of this breakdown In a world where there is no light,no hope I feel the coldness sink into my skin Nothing can ever go back to the way it was Nothing in the world could ever spare the pain Of those three small words. If anyone can help me come uo with names for these help me out please :-)

When you say my name, it sounds like a song I can't get tired of When you touch my hand, I feel like I'm protected When you smile, I am warmed by your honesty When you look in my eyes, I am stripped to my soul When we kiss, I taste the sweetness of love. This has been one of those times that I will never forget When desperation and depression clung to my heart By a mere chance of fate You changed my life from something I wanted to escape from To something I never want to let go This is just a taste of what I can write, ;emme know what you think :-)