calico's blog: "poems"

I hate the fact that I cant get you out of my head, I hate the fact that for you these tears I shed. I hate the fact that you are always on my mind. I hate the fact that to you I am nothing but ashes in the wind to be left behind. I hate the fact that you dwell in my brain, these memories of you are driving me insane. I hate the fact that it is you that I love, but further away from me you shove. I hate the fact that I see you in everything, but to you I have been reduced to nothing. I hate the fact that you walked away with words left unsaid. I hate the fact that you wouldn't speak instead. I hate the fact that it hurts to see your picture. I hate the fact that you say I didn't try. I hate the fact that I made you cry. I hate the fact that to you I was a lie. But, I promise, my love for you will not die.

thoughts of destroying the inner you, bared of the consequences of what you thought they knew. No responce to the lies that I know not true. Red to your eyes but to the world you are blue. Nailed to a cross my heart cold as frost, to you I am here but to the world I am lost. Inside I am dieing but outside Im crying, to you I confide but from the world I will hide. Torn by the thorn that peirced my side, re-born on to the world, I do confide. Lecture us in the masses as our lives slowly pass us, I recollect my past and it seems as if life moves so fast. My shadow remains this hallow void, you toyed with my heart and tore it apart. So, to you I confide. Take a look in the mirror, and watch your life growing clearer. I stear this life as if it were the edge of a jagged knife. So, to everything I confide, like chains that bind long and strong. I will take no restraints and will make no mistakes. For my love for you goes on, I will take no spawns, nore will I play your pawn, but I will fly gracefully on the wings of this lovely swan. So, to you I confide.

I prey for serenity but it always seems to pass me by. Relentlessly I try to tranquilize this feeling of hatred. Though my feelings for you are still strong, I only have the bitter sweet taste of animosity on my tounge. The venom in my veins is like bile. Rejected and easy to defile. Your face still haunts my dreams and when Im awake I can still hear your screams. I live in your head while the rest of you is dead. My life has no meaning for it is you that has taken the beating. Scars on your chest make you feel best. I am the one that put them there one your legs arms and chest. For you see, I am you and you are me.

Threw these blind eyes I see a face staring back at me. No features just an apporition of who I should be. Though just an illusion, it has left me in an unsettled state of confussion. With deaf ears I hear a voice, eager to question if I really have a choice? The dilusion of it all has left me in a state of confussion. Though everything is dead I am very much alive. A choice you ask, no, just a live in a state of confussion. A government torn, people left stranded to morn. Loved ones lost due to a war, with a leader left to scorn. Children left crying while their parents are dieing in the buildings that day. Porpaganda in a state of confussion. He poings the finger at the innocent, when he himself is guilty. The leader of a nation though he is filthy. He sent away millions for his own visions, leaving us all in this dallerious confussion.