6232133's blog: "Poems"

How did this shit happen
How'd I become someone so loved but hated
Oh that's right...

I speak my mind without a care to who it offends
I never followed the rules I just make them bend
I'm not perfect and I'll never act like I am
But on the other hand
I'm so damn complicated you'd never understand
I care for everyone but care about no one at the same time
All I know is i deserve everything I've got because it's mine
This fame of Violent Tease wasn't an overnight sensation it took time
I found my niche and I work it harder then your weak ass lines
So don't play stupid when my name passes your lips
 I'm your favorite desire and best kind of mind fucking trip
You want my attention then take notes while I drop some tips
I demand only your loyalty and friendship without fault
It's simple really just act like an adult
I don't play childish games or cater to mindless jealousy
Because honestly I lack the capacity for the woe is me mentality
I can only guarantee my authenticity
Whether you choose to embrace it or not is your own simplicity

This life of playing two sides of a card
Is mentally exhausting and fucking hard
I've been the shoulder to always lean on
I've been someone's personal demon
I live vicariously through manipulation
From suffering from an enormous amount of indignation
My mental scars empower my white night complex
But it can reflect my cruel nature in reflex
I often feel as if my soul is torn in two
One that will tear you down or one that will fight for you
Sarcasm is said to be an intelligent defense
Yet my natural instinct is to play it to my advantage often at your expense
I allow my facade of innocence lure you into false sense of masculinity
While you're simply men reduced to a goddesses aura of divinity
Although those deserving will achieve nothing but my full support in aces
And I'll never demolish the hearts of those who have their hearts in the purest place
I suppose it all depends on the person and their mindful expectations
To which part of me that they'll receive with their own evaluations
I will never bow down to what anyone desires or pleases
I will forever be the enigma known as Violent Tease



In the words of G-Easy
"This is my world and I does what I wish to.
If you have a problem with  it sounds like a personal issue."

With love that many desire but so few deserve,
K <3

I'm not sure how hip hop became my place to escape

I thought it mostly just preached violence and hate

But I've learned to read between the lines

They're simply trying to express that life isn't always fine

That we all sacrifice things to just stay on the tip of the chain

And being able to connect those life lessons through lyrical gain

Is the only way their able to stay a little bit sane

Hoping that intelligent and worthwhile people can convey it through their words

Trying to portray that success is only achieved by being heard

It's not about big titties, fame, drugs, and the streets

Not about the bass or the beats

But following a better path without surrendering to the head

They only brag to make you focus on what's on the other end of the fence

Fueling your fire with taunting so you won't relent

Their support and determination the underlying verse that's not blatantly said

With the sole intention that their perservation wraps around your head

To lead you do do amazing things instead

I've enraptured your soul with my allure

Turned heart breaking into couture 

Condemned remorse unto folk lore

I'm the best an worst you've ever seen before

I'll ensnare your darkest addiction

I'll fold you into loyal submission

I'm your best kept secret you won't mention

Sweet as pie outside but deadly on the in

I'll simply consume you in sin

And I'll do it again and again 

An unfortunate game you cannot win

I fear not of being exploited 

Your concern will be duly noted

I'll  forgo the insult of apologetic distaste 

Never will sincere regret cross my face

For you will never be the one to put me in my place

I deserve the highest of praise

I've manipulated lust for misplaced love

And I will ever get enough 

 Now let me lay this in a way you understand

I appreciate all my fans

But damn

Don't mistake this lioness for a lamb

My smart mouth will strike you down

So fast you'll still be spinning around

Before a decent comeback is found

I'm more than just a pretty face

And if you choose to reciprocate 

It'll be the bitter taste of embarrassment you taste

I'll never allow myself to be belittled by a waste of space

So save my time and your worthless two cents

I could care less of your miserable existance

But I'll still share thanks for the attention 

Or is that something I shouldn't mention

Since your ass whooping wasn't what you had intentioned 

I suppose you should have kept your intent to yourself

I'll  take joy having publicly added you to my sore loser shelf 

I want you to remember me while you're still on you're knees 

For I'll always be the unstoppable Violent Tease

I've always wrote about the bad in my life

Always emphasized  on my lows and my strife

But there's a story left untold

And I feel as if it's time to let it unfold

Such as I didn't fight to get ahead

I used my intelligence instead

And I deserve this place in life I've built

I will never allow myself to get swallowed by guilt

Because there was no pretty face to get me by

No rich parents to act as my ally

I relied on deception and manipulation

Until I miraculously bloomed and learned to use temptation

Such a sad world when tits and ass control a man

Something I could never comprehend

But it was my ticket to rise

While the need for admiration led to an unseen surprise

 I had fallend in love

And I saw it as a sign from above

As the one thing that became my decline in power and demise

I could no longer embrace this horrible facade

No longer deny the destrustion I brought

For it was the answer I had so longingly sought

They refer to me as the Mighty Tease

Bitch please

I'm the best damn thing by an extreme degree

And I'll bring any man to his knees

If he doesn't end up on the short end of a leash

Eesh

I'll admit I'm rather eccentric at times

Although  I believe my oddities make me rather sublime

Fine 

Maybe I'm just a little above your intellectual reach

But better to practice what you preach

Than to follow a bunch of shepardless sheep

Oh hell I probably lost you now in my senseless babble

Or is it more sensable thank you're willing to dabble

As it's not often that I'm able to express

Just how much I cherish the ability to impress

Those that simply fall under the illogical assumption

Of my damn kitty being the only thing on me that functions

So I hope they'll find themselves otherwise advised

That it wasn't my body that allowed me to survive 

Surprise

I've got an arsenal of abilities to counter those beliefs

Any attempt to even manage a decent retort is wek

So remember who owns this title as the master of tease

And keep your ass in line like a good chess piece

Imperfections stare at me through the mirror
Their cruel words echoing in my ears
The time spent on attempting perfection all but lost
No matter the effort I put into it never worth the cost
Unable to achieve the standards I've set so high
And feeling less than desirable always asking why
Taking one picture after the next to just get it right
A losing battle no matter how hard I fight
A different hair color every couple months
The craving to be the natural me not considered even once
I've lost myself after all these years of trying to appease everyone else
And feeling that I'm only able to fail
the simplicity of wanting to be praised and adored taking first place
Something I've come to think  I don't deserve
But regardless of how absurd 
It'll only grow worse
Its eating me alive on the inside  
Yet I can't escape it, can't hide
The need to be loved will consume me until the day I die.

*****I wrote this poem in realization that some of us suffer from things that are often beyond our control. I wrote this in honesty.****

Though I drove aimlessly, unsure of my destination, I was blindly being lead exactly where I needed to be.
The incompleteness of my life, the emptiness inside, the walls I had hidden behind collapsed around me
Life can change in an instant, for better or worse: Life can end in a moment, one careless act can change it all
The strength to progress is minimal, the desire to get up is minute sometimes, even the best of us fall
I have seen moments where I wanted to lay down and die, give in and succumb to the grim reapers desire
Through blinded eyes I see a light, as bright as the sun, feel the intense heat from an immense ball of fire
Am I dead? Have I finally tempted fate one time too many? Am I doomed to spend an eternity in this hell?
I close my eyes and imagine what could have been one last time. I feel peace coming over me, all is well.
I awake to an image of my truck engulfed in flames, upside down. Someone is trapped inside
I try to scream out, but the words won't come. It's my fault, for turning my life into such a wild ride
I feel a tugging at my arm, my body is being violently shaken. I can't make the trembling cease
I had no idea that this could happen, why me? I promised her forever. May she rest in peace!