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Violent Tease's blog: "Poems"

created on 06/27/2011  |  http://fubar.com/poems/b341998  |  6 followers

I'm not sure how hip hop became my place to escape

I thought it mostly just preached violence and hate

But I've learned to read between the lines

They're simply trying to express that life isn't always fine

That we all sacrifice things to just stay on the tip of the chain

And being able to connect those life lessons through lyrical gain

Is the only way their able to stay a little bit sane

Hoping that intelligent and worthwhile people can convey it through their words

Trying to portray that success is only achieved by being heard

It's not about big titties, fame, drugs, and the streets

Not about the bass or the beats

But following a better path without surrendering to the head

They only brag to make you focus on what's on the other end of the fence

Fueling your fire with taunting so you won't relent

Their support and determination the underlying verse that's not blatantly said

With the sole intention that their perservation wraps around your head

To lead you do do amazing things instead

I've enraptured your soul with my allure

Turned heart breaking into couture 

Condemned remorse unto folk lore

I'm the best an worst you've ever seen before

I'll ensnare your darkest addiction

I'll fold you into loyal submission

I'm your best kept secret you won't mention

Sweet as pie outside but deadly on the in

I'll simply consume you in sin

And I'll do it again and again 

An unfortunate game you cannot win

I fear not of being exploited 

Your concern will be duly noted

I'll  forgo the insult of apologetic distaste 

Never will sincere regret cross my face

For you will never be the one to put me in my place

I deserve the highest of praise

I've manipulated lust for misplaced love

And I will ever get enough 

Damn, these bitches be tripping
Always got to lay them straight
So here we go
Be best you keep up
I'll only say this once...
I am famous for the way I tease
I always aim to please
And I do it without fake ass double d's
So I dare you to bring your game
But y'all ratchet hoes all play the same
Hell most of y'all don't even know how to use your brain
So what's the worst you can do
Hit me like a bitch with your high dollar shoes
I could walk circles around you 
I've got more game than unforgiving chess
But don't stress
I'm sure there's someone who won't love you any less
Just remember who sits on the throne
And I would never steal your crown when I have my own 
Mine just looks better without an orange tan
Did I make you feel like a tramp
I never claimed to be considerate
Kinda like you never intended to be illiterate 
It just happened didn't it
My verbal destruction is my ace
So if I were you I'd learn my place
Because I'm  an unforgiving force of neglected potential 
I'll cause monumental infliction before I'll ever get sentimental 
So follow the natural order of heiarchy
And you'll avoid the procure of monarchy 
Of which is me
So see
Sometimes it's better to just let things be
Fo you'll always surrender to the dominating Violent Tease

 Now let me lay this in a way you understand

I appreciate all my fans

But damn

Don't mistake this lioness for a lamb

My smart mouth will strike you down

So fast you'll still be spinning around

Before a decent comeback is found

I'm more than just a pretty face

And if you choose to reciprocate 

It'll be the bitter taste of embarrassment you taste

I'll never allow myself to be belittled by a waste of space

So save my time and your worthless two cents

I could care less of your miserable existance

But I'll still share thanks for the attention 

Or is that something I shouldn't mention

Since your ass whooping wasn't what you had intentioned 

I suppose you should have kept your intent to yourself

I'll  take joy having publicly added you to my sore loser shelf 

I want you to remember me while you're still on you're knees 

For I'll always be the unstoppable Violent Tease

I've always wrote about the bad in my life

Always emphasized  on my lows and my strife

But there's a story left untold

And I feel as if it's time to let it unfold

Such as I didn't fight to get ahead

I used my intelligence instead

And I deserve this place in life I've built

I will never allow myself to get swallowed by guilt

Because there was no pretty face to get me by

No rich parents to act as my ally

I relied on deception and manipulation

Until I miraculously bloomed and learned to use temptation

Such a sad world when tits and ass control a man

Something I could never comprehend

But it was my ticket to rise

While the need for admiration led to an unseen surprise

 I had fallend in love

And I saw it as a sign from above

As the one thing that became my decline in power and demise

I could no longer embrace this horrible facade

No longer deny the destrustion I brought

For it was the answer I had so longingly sought

They refer to me as the Mighty Tease

Bitch please

I'm the best damn thing by an extreme degree

And I'll bring any man to his knees

If he doesn't end up on the short end of a leash


I'll admit I'm rather eccentric at times

Although  I believe my oddities make me rather sublime


Maybe I'm just a little above your intellectual reach

But better to practice what you preach

Than to follow a bunch of shepardless sheep

Oh hell I probably lost you now in my senseless babble

Or is it more sensable thank you're willing to dabble

As it's not often that I'm able to express

Just how much I cherish the ability to impress

Those that simply fall under the illogical assumption

Of my damn kitty being the only thing on me that functions

So I hope they'll find themselves otherwise advised

That it wasn't my body that allowed me to survive 


I've got an arsenal of abilities to counter those beliefs

Any attempt to even manage a decent retort is wek

So remember who owns this title as the master of tease

And keep your ass in line like a good chess piece

Imperfections stare at me through the mirror
Their cruel words echoing in my ears
The time spent on attempting perfection all but lost
No matter the effort I put into it never worth the cost
Unable to achieve the standards I've set so high
And feeling less than desirable always asking why
Taking one picture after the next to just get it right
A losing battle no matter how hard I fight
A different hair color every couple months
The craving to be the natural me not considered even once
I've lost myself after all these years of trying to appease everyone else
And feeling that I'm only able to fail
the simplicity of wanting to be praised and adored taking first place
Something I've come to think  I don't deserve
But regardless of how absurd 
It'll only grow worse
Its eating me alive on the inside  
Yet I can't escape it, can't hide
The need to be loved will consume me until the day I die.

*****I wrote this poem in realization that some of us suffer from things that are often beyond our control. I wrote this in honesty.****

Though I drove aimlessly, unsure of my destination, I was blindly being lead exactly where I needed to be.
The incompleteness of my life, the emptiness inside, the walls I had hidden behind collapsed around me
Life can change in an instant, for better or worse: Life can end in a moment, one careless act can change it all
The strength to progress is minimal, the desire to get up is minute sometimes, even the best of us fall
I have seen moments where I wanted to lay down and die, give in and succumb to the grim reapers desire
Through blinded eyes I see a light, as bright as the sun, feel the intense heat from an immense ball of fire
Am I dead? Have I finally tempted fate one time too many? Am I doomed to spend an eternity in this hell?
I close my eyes and imagine what could have been one last time. I feel peace coming over me, all is well.
I awake to an image of my truck engulfed in flames, upside down. Someone is trapped inside
I try to scream out, but the words won't come. It's my fault, for turning my life into such a wild ride
I feel a tugging at my arm, my body is being violently shaken. I can't make the trembling cease
I had no idea that this could happen, why me? I promised her forever. May she rest in peace!

Everything was beautiful, the sky such a perfect baby blue, the rays of sun almost transparently visible. I could hear the crickets chirp, feel the fresh dew as I lay on the grass. Even the repressed memories of my childhood, the abuse, neglect, those memories I had tried so hard to black out, suddenly disappeared. This euphoria is unimagineable, unattainable, I have finally found my true love. I could not imagine how incomplete my life really was until I found my soulmate. This feeling so pure, so wonderful, how could I have ever lived without? My heart feels so warm, finally complete, working in overdrive, racing at just the thought of this love and adoration. 

My eyes slowly close as I drift off to sleep, but suddenly I am awakened by a tingling, a burning sensation that overwhelms my body. I can hear distant sounds but they are too minute to understand. 
I open my eyes as my body jerks, I can finally hear the word that has been repeating through my mind. 

I feel myself fading away with a pounding in my chest, gasping for air, I look down and see that my baby is still with me, nourishing my body as she slowly kills every last cell. Love hurts, but I never thought it would hurt so wonderfully... 

I feel the darkness coming in on me and I remember how great she felt the first time, I never thought I would find a love so pure, but that would cost me so much... 

I died with her in my arms, her name was Heroin... 

The note was written through tear filled eyes, explaining the misery that I had experienced, and that this time I simply could not hold on any longer, I needed a break. Everything was done, I checked the stove twice, coffee pot was off but I assumed to unplug it would be better, the dog had food and water. The front door was locked, thermostat was set at a reasonable level. Dinner was on the table, laundry was put away, everything anyone might notice was taken care of. It would not matter at all if I decided to leave, he would not even notice I was gone until he needed something, Would anyone even miss me? This was the last time I would hide the cuts and bruises behind make-up and sunglasses. My biggest nightmare had come true, and the only person to blame was me. 
I walked back up the stairs one last time to make sure she was nestled securely in her bed, I could hear the repetitious breathing like so many times before, the soothing sounds of peaceful slumber. I went back down the stairs, took one last look around as I stepped into the garage. This would be the last time I ever called this place home. 
I took one last deep breath, steadied myself on shaking legs. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, heard my daughters trembling voice, "Mommy what are you doing out here", as I pulled the trigger............

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