These nightmares are from fear to fall asleep

Worried they will come like wolves in the night creep

The actions in these nightmares are souless intentions

The darkest part of myself that never goes mentioned

I can only save those treasured enough to stay

And the rest are left to find their own way

Often to face the horrors they did upon others

Simply just to make them suffer

Most are the ones who have crossed me in life

So they can exist in the terrors of death and the end of a knife

Yet in others I find myself running away

My own fears sometimes leading me astray

Eventually I will find peace once I close my eyes

Or haunt me until the day my last breath dies

Lately my minds been such a mess

That I've had no relief and no rest

Too fcused on being a mother I forgot everything else

Forgotten how being my own person felt

I've become a shell of who I used to be

I look in the mirror and don't even see me

All I see is circles under my eyes

And the ugly shades of my hair from fading dye

Nails bitten don so far they bleed

From trying to fill everyone elses needs

Expected to be a giving mother and wife

To which I've dedicated my life

Not that I'm not thankful, I am

I get to stay at home while he works his ass off for uncle sam

It's just to the point where I stopped caring for myself

And had too much pride to ever ask for help 

Now I'm stuck in this chaos of my mind with no reprieve

This smile is only meant to decieve

I can only hope this darkness will eventually leave

I won't always be able to confine this monster in here

She grows stronger with my lust, my anger, my fear

And feasts upon my heartbroken tears

She portrays my inner ambitions

But with only the worst of intentions

Has no knowledge of shame or feelings of disregard

For she has no remore and no heart

Revels in vengence and acts of impulsion

Refuses forgiveness but admires the notion

She's a poison that eats away at my mind

Her escape from that place will come in time

And by then I'll only be an empty shell

For her to control in her own twisted hell.

I was smart enough to see past what you'd say

It was just another lie on a different day

The pretending to tell the truth was sad

It only made you look bad

I knew what you did ad what you said weren't the same

I thought you had changed

What a shame

I knew you enjoyed the single game too much

Too caught up in your ego and such

I always assumed you words of love were true

But to be honest I think the only person you love is you

You can be a narcisiss at best

Unable to understand what I relationship really is like all the rest

Eventutally the weight of your lies will bed

And you'll only have yourself to mend,

I felt like my soul was being torn in two

Into one that loved myself and one that loved you

It's awful to admit but it's true

I've been fighting for too long

That saving myself or saving you would be wrong

Both sides are too far gone

For the selfishness inside has grown beyond repair

And it consumed the love that was once there

I only wish what happened between us hadn't gotten so bad

That this wasn't all that shows from what we had

But I suppose between love and hater the line is thin

As is actual care and concern verses lust and sin

I could stitch myself together again but we know that isn't the cure

Of that were bother sure

It wouldn't change the problems that lay under the surface

Our need for one another is a curse

You'll always be in the middle of each soul holding them apart

For you'll never let anyone else have my heart

And I will always cling to you for without you I could never be whole

This battle will forever be unending and the only thing we'll ever know.....

Though I drove aimlessly, unsure of my destination, I was blindly being lead exactly where I needed to be.
The incompleteness of my life, the emptiness inside, the walls I had hidden behind collapsed around me
Life can change in an instant, for better or worse: Life can end in a moment, one careless act can change it all
The strength to progress is minimal, the desire to get up is minute sometimes, even the best of us fall
I have seen moments where I wanted to lay down and die, give in and succumb to the grim reapers desire
Through blinded eyes I see a light, as bright as the sun, feel the intense heat from an immense ball of fire
Am I dead? Have I finally tempted fate one time too many? Am I doomed to spend an eternity in this hell?
I close my eyes and imagine what could have been one last time. I feel peace coming over me, all is well.
I awake to an image of my truck engulfed in flames, upside down. Someone is trapped inside
I try to scream out, but the words won't come. It's my fault, for turning my life into such a wild ride
I feel a tugging at my arm, my body is being violently shaken. I can't make the trembling cease
I had no idea that this could happen, why me? I promised her forever. May she rest in peace!

Aimlessly I glance away, unsure of what I am hoping to see
Shielding myself from what has obviously come to be
It's not as it seems, yet nothing really has changed
Just another lost soul, a face without a name
Shall I perish in agony, with little remorse for my ways
Is burning in hell how I shall spend the rest of my days
My time here is limited and I must make haste
To ensure my remaining breaths do not go to waste
I am content with my fate, this path I have chose
Actions yield consequences, that's just how it goes
People laugh at my agony, take humility in my tears
I can feel my pulse drop, the ending is growing near
My suffering is over. Finally, it is my time to go
You have lost your mind if you think I am dying alone

Who would have ever thought that crimson red could have such a brilliant glow
There was so much blood. How anyone could live through that I did not know
Through tear filled eyes I watched as she gasped for one last breath
She fought so hard to survive, but we both knew she had nothing left
In it's own morbid way there was a certain beauty in her empty stare
As if he had brought peace to a life of agony, hurt, and despair
I closed my eyes and hoped that maybe this was all just a dream
Perhaps I had only imagined the horrible things I had just seen
Why couldn't I stop him? I was her last hope and I let her down
Like I was standing on the shore, watching as she drowned
I just want it to be over, but it seems like this is merely where it begins
He glanced into the hallway mirror and smiled as I looked back at him

Love doesn't exist without pain

It doesn't care whether you're sick or sane

A disease in the form of adoration and obsession

Slowly shadowing the world with its infection

Creating a new birth every couple seconds

Every passing moment it takes yet another victim 

Feeding the weakest of minds with its addiction

Consuming the easiest of lovesick minds

Absorbing their most prescious wants and stealing time

Every eager heart has something they want to find

It has the power to strip of trust on which it feeds

Expanding your expectations that often lead to doubt and jealousy

Love can empower you to reach your most intimate dreams

But it also has the ability to hinder the worst of things

Love is a lot more clever and complicated that it seems.

I've got no remorse in my eyes
I've got you too caught up in my lies
And you believe me evey time
Never thinking i'm going to hurt you without ever trying
But hell that's your problem not mine
Right
How could you just give up without a fight
You should have known you can't have the cake an eat it too
That's just not how this story is gonna play through
That would make you almost as bad as me
For believing that things weren't as bad as they seem
But the truth is right in front of our face
The love is gone no matter how hard we try to pick up the pace
It's not my fault you keep holding on to what could have been
I would have given anything to believe that too but that was back then
Maybe when your face is too far shoved in the dirt
It won't hurt
At least not as bad as it's going to of you don't
But I know well enough to know you won't
So now the question is if it's really worth all this pain
And what it is that your gonna actually gain
Other than a broken heart and a distorted sort of hope
Were at the end of our fucked up rope
Just let go and move on
Before the opportunity is gone
I may not be the best person but I can't keep doing this to you
You know as well as I do that as much as you hate it that it's the truth
At some point you going to have to choose
An I only hope the last words you say are I don't blame you...