ICE's blog: "Poems"

You made me cry You tore me apart You left me in tears You shattered my heart It wasn't your fault I guess it was me For love can't be forced Perhaps we weren't meant to be It still doesn't help Now that I know Because for some reason My heart won't let go I've tried more than once To get over you But you make it so hard With cute things that you do I thought love was joy But I've got nothing to gain Just sorrow, tears And a little more pain The day the pain started Reality came too It was the day that I realized I'll never be with you

Tonight will be the last night. The last night I will relive our last time together. Tonight will be the last night that I beg God to send you back to me. The last night that I will criticize myself for not being what you wanted. Tonight will be the last night that I wonder how you are.What you are doing and who you are with. The last night I will torment myself of thoughts of you in another's arms. Tonight will be the last night I wonder why you are unable to love me. The last night that I will think of myself as "unlovable." Tonight will be the last time I cry like a wounded animal till I fall asleep. The last night that I toss and turn with thoughts of you. Tonight I will free myself of you. YOU who turned and walked away without so much as a glance. Tonight I let you go...

Tears are falling from my eyes, as I sit and cry at night. Blood is dripping from my heart, as I try to write. I have so much pain, I'm hurt a lot, I can't explain all this, I'm just falling apart. No one understands, I don't know where to start and I don't know where to end. Love hurts so much, like a thousand stabbing knives, especially when you have all this pain, that you wish you could deny. I'm so sore right now, my heart is racing fast, you told me love is happy but now I am sitting here with all this pain, I don't understand. I wish U can kiss them all away but no matter how much I try to forget this pain...I cant cause my heart is telling me, the only one who can take the pain away is the same person who gave it to you

I don't want to hear that your going I've never felt like this before I thought that you would be my friend I don't want to be left anymore. You told me that you loved me It was stupid of me to believe We're too young to feel that way But i never thought that you would leave. You changed my life around I cant turn back the clock I wouldn't ever want to hurt you I need you to be my rock. I can't deleted you from my life I think about you every day But i cant make you like me again All i can say is, wont you please stay?

As I sit here, in my room, all alone I think of past loves, that I've known Like a storm it brews inside my mind The scars it leaves, the pain inside Let me tell you of the fateful storm, that led my heart to disbelieve The storm that left me afraid and scared, although it's a storm I no longer grieve It started with the clouds, that darken the sky, high about your head You think it's going to pass You think it will blow over But the intensity grows instead Lightening comes like a truth or a lie, and you know it won't stop So you start to cry You try to hide from the thunder of anger, like the wind you can feel the rage Then the rain comes down, you start to lose hope like the fog you start to fade Then all that's left is the damage it's done So in your soul, is where the wounds have begun Your life moves on when the storm is gone But your soul is still wounded inside So that's my tale, so sad but true, of why I find it so hard to believe Your kindness is working it's way into my heart but my faith you may have to retrieve So when I'm scared and frightened sometimes, hold me close and keep me warm There may be times when our skies fill with clouds and I hope there will never be a storm

Someday you'll cry for me, like I cried for you. someday you'll need me, the way I needed you. someday you'll miss me, like I missed you. someday you'll love me, but I won't love you.

Take it back, take it all back now. The things I gave, like the taste of my kiss on your lips, I miss that now. I can't try any harder than I do. All the reasons I gave, excuses I made for you. I'm broken in two. All the things left undiscovered. Leave me empty and left to wonder, I need you. All the things left undiscovered. Leave me waiting and left to wonder, I need you. Don't walk away. Touch me now how I wanna feel. Something so real, please remind me. My love, and take me back. I'm so in love with what we were. I'm not breathing I'm suffocating without you. Do you feel it too? When I'm in the dark and all alone. Dreaming that you'll walk right through my door, Its then I know my heart is whole. There's a million reasons why I cry, Hold my covers tight and close my eyes. Because I don't want to be alone. All the things left undiscovered. Leave me waiting and left to wonder. I need you. All the things left undiscovered. Leave me empty and left to wonder, I need you, I need you. I can't fake and I can't hate. But it's my heart thats about to break. You're all I need, I'm on my knees. Watch me bleed, would you listen please? I give in, I breathe out. I want you, theres no doubt. I freak out, I'm left out. Without you, I'm without. I'm crossed out, I can't doubt. I cry out, I reach out. Don't walk away.

Torn between the two, While love hangs in the balance. The last heartbreak cut me too deep. The chance that fairy tales exists only in dreams, Scares me so bad I can't help but scream. Not sure what pulls me to him, When on a regular basis I'm not 'The One'. Is it the chase? Wanting to win, Gotta be first place? The perfectionist in me has to win, But is it worth it in the end? Been down this road before, Left me broken and bruised. What makes this time different, When he's always left me wanting more? A chance at the fairy tale I've always dreamed of. A man thats not ready to run for the door. In this case the heartbreak could be worse than before. Tired of playing games, Trying to convince myself all men ain't the same. It's gonna take a lot to take down these walls. Hard to believe there could be a happily ever after, After all. He's in this for the long haul, Ready to pick me up when I fall. Still rather be safe than sorry. It's why I'm tempted to side with the expected. A let down is better than free fall. Rather play in the shallow end Than have it drop off unexpectedly. Hard to trust something that's prone to leaving you hurt. Yet, every time I try to walk away, I hear something inside me say stay. Now I'm sitting here torn between the used to be and before. The possibility of a fairy tale, Or the man that leaves me wanting more.

I’m just writing this down now before it slowly eats away at me I just hope it’s a remedy to this pain that perhaps I caused upon myself maybe it’s an inevitable pain that was bound to happen regardless of who or where I am it hurts, but I wish it would stop—I know it will....eventually I’m counting down the seconds, minutes, hours, days until I can smile—smile like I used to do and not worry about the pain coming back—sneaking up on me again....I just wish I just wish it was so much easier than it sounds it hurts—there’s no pain like this one—of being emotionally hurt oh why can’t it be so much easier—I just wish it can

Void, canceled, simply annulled. Endlessly aching, unconsoled. Life without you, cause without reason. Touch without sense, time without season. I face life now facing a cancerous sore, A sordid parasite that eats at my core. All that makes me whole, all I hold deep within, Leaving me lifeless, or at least not livin'. A shallow face, anguished and marred. An empty space, scaled and scarred. Sweetly abiding to a cynical charade. Secretly hiding 'hind a fictitious facade. Still, lost within this heart of glass, This fragile and yet unfeeling mass. Lies the remains of a love that glowed, The gift to you I once bestowed. But honor and pride now bereaved- By your love for me so misconceived, Ripped from my inner depths, impeding- Mind and body and spirit, bleeding; Now's crushed to sand from thy ruthless hand, A cold stare I just can't understand. I feel that somehow, somehow I'm dying, At least my soul and all that's underlying. A simple void, is that what I've become? The hollowed sphere on a pendulum. Swinging back and forth, emotion to emotion, Never once stopping, nor slowing the motion. No reason, no answer, no justification. The creation of a sterile imagination. Just passing through time as time passes me. Merely a nothing- nothing, merely, left to be. Sightless and soundless, unseen and unheard. Mindless and boundless, obscure and absurd. All empathy lying ungraced, unemployed, I live my life dying, unembraced, a void.