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DELETE ME's blog: "Poems"

created on 10/20/2006  |  http://fubar.com/poems/b15962
The wind whistles past her ears Her hair blows She looks down and see's everyday life going on all around her She looks up into the clear blue sky and screams The wind blown tears leave streaks across her face There is nothing left Its all gone It doesnt matter anymore Nothing does A bend of the knee A spring of the foot Arms spread open as an angel Eyes closed The rush of air blowing against her Soaring She feels it nearing The peaceful blackness is coming As it reaches her she laughs They will write she died before the fall Before the jump even took place She died when her heart dissappeared
Clear liquid swelling up. The soft pink skin holding back the ever increasing pressure. More forms and the pressure increases making panic start to havic through her body. Knowing the pressure needs to be released but holding back for she doesnt want it to happen yet. Not here. Not now. All the noise blocked out from the focus on controlling the pressure. The presence of the figure over her is ever more present but she does not let the pressure over take her. Blinking as to control any possible thing she can. Its almost unbearable. Her breathe catches............................One step, two steps, three, four, and more. In need of this release so unbearable a dead sprint takes over her legs. Sniff.... Hands shaking, jingling of the keys in her hand. "Must open! Must open NOW!" She tells her fingers. Click........ Comfort, the soft leather she sinks into. SMACK!!! the hard rubber of the steering wheel hitting the gentle palm of her hands. Its too much to take. The dam is about to break. A scream is muffled from hearing her heart pound in her ears. Flowing, ever flowing down her face like waterfalls. Streaming down, cooling the blood pulsing skin. Another scream which throughs her back into reality. She starts to think............... He's changed. There was a man I once knew One that I thought was something very special He made me laugh He made me think Understanding things about how I was feeling without me even explaining This man has dissappeared Maybe he never existed Whats left of this being is something that has caused such pain He was only in the need for someone to prey on To be there for him when he needed Was there ever a time he DIDNT take my help for granted? I gave and gave and gave All he could do was take Why didnt I get out before? Was I blind to the feelings that werent present Feelings that i thought were there but for some reason didnt mean enough The good times were what made this venture longer than necessary Why couldnt i see before? Is this being still worth my attention? When will there be an understanding of what he had done?
Why do the tears of my heart keep falling? Have i Not suffered enough of the empty feeling inside myself. I am not even sure of what i am asking for. My life is in such limbo. Trying to better myself by doing things for me, missing that pure feeling of love, seeing everyone around me happy, dealing with my job in limbo and the sacrafices, the sacrafices I make for other people. The tears encompassing me like they have captured my soul. I feel them runnning down my face like a waterfall. If only with their disperse could they take these feelings with them. A tear filled heart does no one any good. Little bits of it are given away without any thought to will i get them back. Why does it seem pieces of my heart are for people to take and just step on? Why does everyone get the love from me and in return I get a slap in the face? Soon, I feel soon I will have nothing to give and get lost in my own insecurities and ever wondering thoughts. What will happen then? I feel myself blocking peopl out of my problems because I think "Why should they care?" My question is why are my problems not as important as anothers? My voice is not heard when I talk and my heart seems to no longer talk except for the sorrow that is inside of it. Grasping at my past seems to just make things worse. Here they come again, the tears that rule my life. Why must this hurt so much? Is my heart even worth having anymore?
I look in his eyes and see emptiness These are not eyes that want me These eyes belong to someone else As mine should belong to another It is easier not to breathe than to breathe you in Take your sword of fear, hate, sadness, and dispare, plunge it into where it belongs, not in me Your a bat feeding on its prey with no respect for it You paralyze me I deserve what I have been given before How dare you drink from the cup of my life without any regard for its gentle structure It is time for the angel to leave and heal herself She has been caught in your trap for too long No longer fighting for freedom, she turns and holds herself, blocking out your insolence and begins to fade away Releasing herself from you Watch her fly away to a new place of happiness and learn from it It is time Time to let go
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