Midnight Rose's blog: "poems written for my kids"

I watch you grow with every rose, I have seen you glow. I have seen the pain, as you try to break the chains. You are so alone, if only i had known. If I could only mend the seams, Make it right again. If I could have been there, you were just a child. I watch you grow, with ever rose. Hurting inside, I have only cried, so many times I wanted to die, I had to sigh, and relive the lies. I watch you grow, the skies are now blue, I have no clue, what the future will hold, maybe it wont be so cold. I watch you grow.

Times have changed since it all began. You are now filled with so my much pain. My little angels you have been through so much and i to have dealt with the blow. Times have changed since it all started. Words have been spoken words that have tore our family apart. Times have changed since we all went our seperate ways. Now the silence is tearing us all apart. My little angels we will get through this, we must stick together. You are young but you are so confused and i dont know how to help but be here for you, the tears are falling and all i can do is wipe them away and let you know that i am here for you always. Times have changed since it all began, and now I only winder why, trying to understand why i didnt see the signs, why i couldnt stop it from happening, times have changed and now i only wonder why, why we went our seperate ways why we didnt stick together and help eachother. Times have changed since it all began.

When will it ever end? When will the tears ever stop falling? It seems that no matter how i try to keep my head up high there is something there to always remind me of the way it use to be. you made a mistake and now you must pay, but that doesnt mean that i love you any less. It hurts to know that i can't be there, this time. I had to protect you i had to keep you safe, and i did it the only way i knew how. I have to let go and know that i did my best. I love you my son, but now you are on your own you must decide what it is that you are going to do. I cant be there to wipe away your tears, and God only knows i wished i could. I know you are hurting, but you cant keep lying for the rest of your life, maybe if you told the truth we would know how to help you. I can see through you my son, you keep covering up for something that caused you to do what you did. I love my son, but when will it ever end? We can never go back to the way it use to be. The memories will always be there. No matter how hard you try to run you can't hide forever. The truth will be known and this will only make it harder if you keep lying. My heart is breaking because i want so bad to bring you home, but in my heart i know i can't. When will it ever end? I try to be strong for you but i can't keep hanging on. I want to help you my son, but i don't know how. I want to be there but i am afraid of what could happen to everything that we have worked so hard to build. You must meet us half way, you must try to figure it out. When will it ever end? The pain, the tears that never stop falling, when will it ever end the lies that you keep telling. I love you my son, but when will it ever end?

I want to hold you and let you know that i still love you. I want to do the things we use to do, I want to be there when you cry, To wipe them away, God knows i do, but i cant be there right now. I cant take away your pain, or wipe or tears away. God knows I want to hold you. I want so bad to tell that you are coming home, but that isnt my decision to make. I want so bad to bring you home, but you need so much more then what I can give you. My heartaches the tears are falling, you have been ripped from my arms once again but this time it wasnt me that made the mistake. I love you my son. I want to hold you and let you know i still care but i cant and God knows i wished i could. God knows I want to hold you. Hold you and never let you go. This time my son i have to let you go. You made a mistake and now you have to learn your lesson. I cant bail you out. I want to hold you wipe away your tears. but i cant be there this time. I keep you in my prayers and in my thoughts, but dont ever doubt my love for you. I love you my son, I want to hold you God knows i do.

I kept you safe till you could fly, with arms opened wide i let you go. With arms held open a huged you tight, but now only in my dreams. I kept you safe till you could fly. I kept you safe until i couldnt hold on anymore. I tried to protect you, I did the best i could for you. Now i am trying to figure out how to say goodbye. in my heart you will always be, in my dreams i remember the times we did have together, and they will be treasured forever, from the first time you said mommy to the time i had to walk away and leave you, because i couldnt raise you on my own. I left you in good hands hoping and praying that someday you would understand, why mommy had to go away. I will never forget you and i hope you never forget me either. I kept you safe until you could fly. I had to let go i had to set you free, i kept you safe until you could fly, and now i only wonder how to say goodbye. I kept you safe and now i must let you go. I love you my son always will.

Every tear drop every broken heart that you will face growing up Every broken promise, every shattered dream I will be here. For every time you fall i will be here to pick you up. Every tear drop i will be here to wipe them away. Every mountain you climb i will be there to help you, catch you when you fall. Every tear drop that falls mommy cry's to. Mommy tried to keep you safe, but i couldnt protect you from everything. Every tear drop that falls mommy's heart breaks. You have been hiding in a shell of confusion, hurt and anger. I dont understand why it had happen or why you had to go through all this, you are so young and fragile. Every tear drop that falls mommy wipes away, every tear drop i pray you that someday you will be free from this pain. Mommy to is confused you are not alone. I will face this pain with you and we will hit it head on together. Just remember mommy loves you, and i will always be here for you. Every tear drop.

In your own little world, in your own little thoughts, you try to understand, you try to be strong but you dont know how, You hide in your own little world trying to get out, You cry for help, but all I can do is wipe away your tears. Your hearts have been broken, and the feelings have all changed. You try to run and you try to hide, but it always catches up to you, you are in your own little world, just trying to understand, why everything has changed. In your own little world you shut everything out. You want to come home but you struggle, to fight the pain that holds your little heart. In your own little world. You try to open up, but you cant get the words to come out, the only thing you can do is be angry. So now you hide in your own little world, mommy's here i will always be here. In your own little world, I wish you didnt have to go through all this, In your own little world.

If I change the way your little lives have turned out I would, If I could stop the tears from falling from your eyes I would, If i could make life better I would, I would do anything for my precious little ones. If i could take away the pain and the hurt I would. For you precious little ones i would do anything. If I could give you the life i always wanted you to have I would you know mommy would. If I could be protect you from every harmful thing in this world I would do it, but mommy cant protect you from everything, If I could you know I would. If I could always know what you were thinking and how you were feeling inside I would help you the best I could. But I cant change what has happened and I cant change the past If I could I would, but what has happened has already happened, all i can do is be there for you, If I could you know mommy would. All I can do is love you till the end, all I can do is pray that you will be ok. All I can do is love you. If I could I would make this world a better place for us all. I love my precious little ones.

My little angels so small so precious, why all the tears. Your little hearts have been broken, and you dont understand why. My little angels why all the frowns your life has been turned upside down and you cant figure it out. My little angels mommy's here dry those tears, know that you are loved and cared for. My little angels dont be afraid, God is watching over you. My little angels life is tough, but it will get better. My little angels I know you are sad I know you are hurting, but know you are not alone. Mommy's here and mommy loves you. My little angels the tears will stop falling and you will be able to smile again. My little angels you are my life my dreams my future, everything i have ever wanted you have given to me my angels my little angels. Mommy loves you so much. My little angels.

Looking into your eyes I see the pain. I see the hurt that you have to face now. Looking into your eyes it breaks my heart. I see the way you use to be. laughing smiling being a child, but now you are trying to figure out what is going on. Faced with the hurt of what someone else did, trying to understand why. You are so young and yet the pain is so big. Looking into your eyes i only wish i take the pain away, so you can be a child again. I only wish i would have seen the signs. the signs that have caused you so much pain, more pain then a little heart should have deal with. Looking into your eyes i see the anger, the anger you now show, because it is the only way you know how to reach out. Looking into your eyes where'd my little child go. Now in another world trying to get back. Looking into your eyes I wish i could do more then just wipe away your tears, Looking into your eyes i wish i could change what has happened, I wish i could stop the painful tears that you cry. Looking into your eyes i say alittle prayer in hopes that you will find the courage to hang in there. I pray that you will someday open up and tell me what is really going inside your little head. I pray that you will be happy again, and be able to laugh without having to cry all the time. Looking into your eyes my son i see the little boy that i gave birth to the little boy that changed my life. The little boy that brought happiness and brought the sunshine back. Looking into your eyes where's my little boy. So much anger so much hurt, someday you will be able to smile again. You are so young my son hang in there mommy will always be here. Looking into your eyes i see that same little boy. Looking into your eyes it breaks my heart cause you have to face life with such pain and anger. Looking into your eyes you will always be very special to me, and no matter where life leads you i will always remember the joy you brought into my life. I will never be that far away from you. Looking into your eyes. I love you my son. Please comment on this poem i was thinking about getting this one published. comments will be really appreciated thank you this one is written for my 9 year old son