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MorphicThought's blog: "sick"

created on 01/16/2007  |  http://fubar.com/sick/b45143

poems from the darkside

Love - at what price? Love. Thoughts swirling though my mind. I can't stop them. Emotions twist through the confusion, cresting waves, and black depths. One moment I'm high, happy, and all I want is there, the next, shadows creep over, darkness returns, talons sinking deep down, taking root. Alone, feeling low, passion still rising, ever darker, unsure of my footing, as the peaks of emotion twist to become crevasses, great expanses of darkness, terrifying intensity, so far to fall. Or to climb. Lost in the depths, waiting for the next change of emotion, reversing the emotional landscape once more, however briefly. Love is the turbulence, the greatest of addictions, the darkest of sorrows. Mere moments of happiness, to be lost in the confusion, followed by days of shadows. Haunted, addicted, chained and bound. No matter the price, I'll pay it. No matter the time, I'll wait it. No matter the heartache, I'll take it. Sweet drops of happiness, prettier than the moonlit stars, more addictive than the strongest drug, the only happiness I know. Tides of passion, born to live on them, for all else is just an expanse of nothingness, passionless life a barren wasteland of dreary monotony, lifeless existence. I'd rather die. Even to face death with passion, either sinking into the greatest depths of despair, floating away on a sea of bitter memories as life ebbs away, or the pain of knives lost in anger, the heat of emotion proof against the sting of the sharpest blade against my wrist. Or later, sweet memories, of times of contentment, happiness, bliss. Love in heart, as life fades with age, serene and complete. Uncertainty swells the pool of emotion, little treasures, a lifetimes expectancy distilled into seconds, fleeting moments of magnified beauty, followed by sharper falls, razor edges of pain, emotions cutting deeper than the body could take. Distances too, the greater the distance from the heart's desire, the greater the magnification. Fewer moments, shorter, and prettier, rising above long paths through dark realms. Nights seem so cold, bitter winds swirling like the emotion inside, uncertainty strong, so easy to lose your light. Why have you taken this path? You're not sure. It all seems too far away, the warmth too distant to keep you tonight, the light too faint for you to be sure of your path. Where is destiny, its light to follow? And which path to take? So many ways, so many things you can do, which one is right? Blind corners, blind faith. Moments away, blazing heat, happiness, joy. Perhaps. Happiness in love can come and go, with no warning, making the paths in life so difficult to determine. I only know that I want the path to lead to fulfilled, shared love. Loneliness is the bitter wind from which I hide, and the darkness of night comes from that cold dampening the fires of happiness. My drug, my addiction, my life, love. Nothing else matters. We all need something to follow, and we can strike sparks in the darkness to hold our own, but only love holds strong in the winds of time, and the future seems so very dark without it.
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