Twitchypoo's blog: "Poems by Twitchy"

I dare you to take the time
Just peek inside my mind
You're afraid of what you might find
Thoughts so dark
More terrifying then a great white shark
Thoughts left untold
Pain waiting to unfold
Fearing change
Happiness is strange
Each day harder then the last
Don't want to relive the past
Stuck in this cell
Feeling like an empty shell
Can't explain this feeling
Wounds that aren't healing
Walking around in denial
Afraid of a real smile

Feeling trapped in my head
Might as well be dead
So many words left unsaid
Extended stay on a death bed
So much anger
Leading into self danger
Feels like a room with no doors
Even if i'm outdoors
Can't escape this reality
Testing my own vitality
A pain that remains for so long
It's way too strong
Me and society don't get along
Just want a bong and listen to a song
Wanting to shout out
Surrounded by people I don't care about
Eyes are like cups with no side
Can't count the nights i've cried

Wish for the end nightly
Burying emotions so tightly
Afraid of happiness
Constant state of sadness
Anger toward those around me
Fear toward what's inside me
Stuck with no place to go
Life is a stale show
Stareing into the mirror
Wish my future was clearer
Tried drinking memories away
But the pain seems to stay
These words on a wall
My mind wanting to fall

Thoughts stay hidden for your satisfaction
Instead of becomein an action
Or else you'll say I want attention
But with no mention to care about my state of tension
Going round after round
No end to be found
No way to turn this around
So I sit here alone
Dreaming of those days on the phone
She made me feel like a king on a throne
Now i'm a walking grave
My path of life is left unpaved
I can't be saved
How can you trust something that isn't real
Not haveing a heart to feel
The world is trien to break me
You want to let them take me?
You stick with your devotion
I'm constantly stuck with no emotion
I'm trapped inside my mind
But the lock is on the outside
No way to reach
This wall can't be breached
Feeling like i'm surrounded by a green screen
Not knowing if this is a real scene

How can you not care about anything
How can you live with no hope for anything
Why should I care
Mental blurts trien to bare
No answer to the simple question "Why?"
I have no heart so I can't cry
Drink so much I become numb to the pain
No worries about damage to my brain
The constant ache from hate
Still think life is great?
Feel trapped alone in a crowd
Just want to scream out loud
No reason to be proud
So long things remain crappy
Maybe i'm afraid to be happy
Life was great till I started to fumble
So I stay in my bubble and just mumble
Everything is blurred into motion
With no real positive emotion
More sorrow is the only thing certain
I just want to close the curtain

They say be yourself
When I do you say im followin a crowd
What crowd?
I stand out loud
Only thing to make me proud
An outcast in my own group
I'm stuck in a loop
Mind is like a maze
Not sure which turn to make
No idea which path to take
Pushing me , pulling me every which way
Trien to change me in just one day
All I want is for it all to go away
The confusion of what is
The uncertainty of what should be
Or what could be
The fear of tomorrow
The certainty of sorrow
Memories outlined in chalk
The inability to talk
Feeling inadequate with myself
Worse then cheap liquor from the bottom shelf
Why am I here , what's the reason
This pain is always in season
Walkin this way alone
No way can I become a clone
Thoughts bouncein around like a pinball machine
Even I can't intervene

It's like a movie reel in slow motion
Loseing all emotion
Trapt in a spiral maze
Mind stuck in a daze
Future and present is the same
Such a disapointment that I came
The things I want don't want me
Disturbing thoughts that won't let me be
Try holding onto a hope
Never learned how to cope
Now all I do is walk around and mope
Constantly feeling crappy
Will I ever understand being happy

My mind feels like pieces from different puzzles mashed together
Feelings change more often then the weather
thoughts racein and changing
sadness and madness , my feelings are exchanging
just trien to make it to tomorrow
Anyone have some sanity I can borrow?
False appearance that i'm fine but inside i'm broken
My past is left unspoken
Memories from the past haunt me
Who would want me?
I'm unsure
Future is a blur
Why am I still here
I want to disappear
Feeling breathless
People seem to care less
Stareing at these pills wondering how many I could swallow
Let the bottle of vodka follow
I'm feeling hollow