RxQueen's blog: "Poems..and Shit"

"Portrait of a Friend" I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers. I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain, nor the future with its untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care. I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall. Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine; Yet I can share in your laughter. Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge; I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask. I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me. I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you. I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you, But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself. I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting, But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place. I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend. * We miss you Tappinit*

It's great when stangers become friends But even sadder when those friends become strangers We became friends and didn't even realize it I trusted you and you trusted me Now were like stangers to each other But no matter what you'll always be my friend Even if im not yours It's great when strangers become friends But even sadder when those friends become strangers

It was at random that we met, A chance that not many get. When I heard the "Uh Oh", How was I to know! That you would turn out to be my special friend, Someone who could be there, Until the end. No matter how I feel or what I do, I know, in my heart, That I can count on you. I've never seen you, Heard you, or touched you. Those kind of chances are very few. To meet someone from far away, Never knowing if they're here to stay, Not knowing if what they say is true, Of what they're doing and telling you. So far away, but yet so near, The "not knowing" is the fear. Is it truth, or is it lies? Will a heart grow, or will it die? Either way, the bonds of Friendship's strings are tied. One's needs are met, Some with regret. Some with hope, Some with pain. But still, the answer is plain. The emptiness may be filled, A life may start to rebuild. A heart may be broken, Or made to mend; All because of that "Random Friend".

There is a storm in my heart It tears my inside apart I am bleeding and I am hurt Like a wingless little bird Then it turns dark And for a moment I see The pain that was inside of me And on a journey I embark In search of answers In search of truth In search of understanding In search of you My guiding star in darkness Like a little stream in the desert Everything about you seems flawless But that is what causes the hurt Your perfect features do not belong to me You do not deserve my chains You need to live and see What it means to be free So spread your wings and fly away For I can not fulfill your dream But if you should fall one day I'll guide you and be that little stream So go and discover it all And know that wherever you go Whatever you do and might feel The only thing you need to do is call

I always wanted more from you than you were willing to give; So now we've gone our separate ways each with different lives to live. The bond will always be there the friendship always intact; But the time for us has come and gone and the pages of time, you can't turn back. I will always be a friend to you and wonder how you are; The smiles and laughter I will remember and our fights have become painless scars. Sometimes on those busy days when you've a thousand things to do; Please let me glide slowly through your mind and spend some time with you. In that quiet moment when you're surprised to find me there; Just remember even with the distance between us I am still someone who cares.

She doesn't give a damn, About what others think about her, Even if someone wants to be caring, She just pushes them away, So she can stay in her Dark hole, But I wish to explore her Dark hole, Find many hidden secrets, About her life, And ask if I can take your Darknes, And consume her Dark energy, So that she can live a better life... But it's all just a dream, In my dream of Darknes.

Everynight, she sees those dark things, the shadows don't only live inside her twisted mind. They ooze out of the cave-like closets nightmares of the most horrifying kind. And every night she screams to sleep, ghosts of candy cane memories linger in her mind. Those lovely nightmares where the cities burn; they are her favorite kind. So hush little baby, now please try not to cry. The boogie man's the least of your worries when you're living just to die. The ferris wheels spin inside her head, beneath the cloud on which the giants play. She can speak a thousand languages, but they're dead and she's got nothing to say. Oh what to do when you're the little girl with angel wings and a devil's tongue? She owns the heavens and the sky, time travels and knows how the West was won. But hush up, little baby, cuz if you even think to cry, the boogie man'll get us, and it'll be your fault I die. Darling, here's your lullaby, ya, here's your nightmare's favorite song. Please the nightmares, and baby, you can't go wrong.

Nothing makes sense anymore i feel like I'm shut out by a door why doesn't anyone understand me is it so hard to see what i see since my problems seem never ending my heart isn't worth mending your the voice i hear inside of me that tells me to keep going, to stay alive ill just think of you and i will survive i know you don't love me and thats fine but on the inside when you talk to me you make me shine

To know you're killing me inside, brings you such sweet glory. To know I'm dying, creates a smile on your face. There's no way to make you see, there's no way to make you understand. I'm cutting myself deeper and deeper, and it's all my fault. I'm the one to blame. I'm the one to put this on. Wait, am I? No. I will not be the one who carries this through. This isn't fair, to be the only one hurting. It's not my fault, it's yours. It's not my liability, it's yours. I'm not the one to blame, it's YOU. You deserve this pain, You deserve this guilt, You deserve this suffering. For you I wish the torture you've put me through. Blood, sweat and gore in your most beautiful dreams. Scars and bruises, painful memories and badges. For you to wear your heart on your sleeve, show me your best, I'll show you mine. I promise I won't play nicely.