here i find myself
lying awake yet again in the wee hours of
the morning.
but how can i sleep?
how can i sleep when
i have so many thoughts,
so many demons plagueing
my mind?
i find myself in this position way too often.
so many times i've tried to change it,
to turn it around.
i fail each and every time.
no longer do i find pleasure in life,
only misery.
i envy other humans,
the carefree and content ones,
for they are everything i cant seem
to be.
i try as i might, to sift through this shit
running through my head.
i cant find the answers i need.
why do i always find myself like this?
locked away inside my head,
where my demons torment me.
so many times ive gotten to the suicidal point,
but i dont have the guts.
so many times when i cut myself, i just want to
press down and stop the world.
but i cant.
im weak.
i cant seem to do anything.
sometimes i feel like im already dead...
