14KTbaby's blog: "PM Loving ....Missing my baby !"

9:20 PM 10/17/2007 It is the quite of the night when the world makes ready to sleep . I am here....in the dim light of my dwelling , Restless and unable to allow my mind to rest . The pentence i pay is for my secrets and my hidden desires. Living by the rules of my heart is not always a peaceful emotion . I struggle with decisions yet act on a whim . I am constantly in dis agreement with what i am allowed to have and what i truly want . How is it to be ...to tame the heart when it is suspose to soar ? Well into my torment i know less of the why and more of the why not . Standing in the middle of the bridge ..... about to collaspe.... what direction shall i run ...what side is saftey . I wish i could tell ....whats makes me so weak . I must hush to survive yet i want to scream with delight .

744 AM : 10/15/07 Out of bed.....the sun is rising , and i am half awake. Reflecting back on weekend , big smile upon my face . I have touched another heart and in return have had my heart touched as well . I have added another beautiful moment and memory to my life and thus have embraced the gift of life. Do i dare express my feelings and share them with the outside world ? Who would understand it ? If only i could announce my secret to the world then my thoughts and feelings might be understood . I will be facing many challanges this coming week as i deal with the emotions that the weekend has impressed upon my heart. This early in the days exsistance.... i can see the sun as it rises to provide light to the seeds of life. I am one of thoes seeds..... i am a child and creature of nature and mother earth . Still growing and spreading. Life is what feeds me and the sunlight provides clarity to each day of my exsistance .

My night is quiet ..... I can hear the croaking of the bull frogs echoing in the grassy banks along my pond . I wonder ... what is it that he hears ? ...... what is the sounds that surround his world at this hour ? What is it that i am missing while i cannot be with him . Who are others missing this night ? How many in this world are waiting ? Starveing to be with the essence that makes them happy and feeling so adored . Some are alone and feel surrounded by love, while others are surrounded by many and feel so alone .