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5 contestants entered this weeks contest...

Dud (with his small penis and old man balls)

George the Bird (not sure what the fuck he was thinking)

Gallo (with his leaking ball sac)

Lil Boops (with a talent above all else)

Passion and Helly (bishes obtained a loop hole to enter as a team)

 

The Rules were read and each participant signed an agreement to abide by the rules.

Straws were drawn to see who would go first.

First up, George the Bird.  George stepped to the line after drinking 32 cups of water with alka seltzer.  He went to piss and exploded.  Parts of George, including his small peen, were found 8 feet down the piss track.

Witchie and Wicked, the Judges, conferred and disqualified George the Bird as body parts do not equate to piss. Named Crisis was crushed, filed a protest with the Commissioner, Suga Lips.  Suga Lips denied the protest and through Named Crisis' Spam peen over the cliff.

Next up is Dud.  The crowd gets going doing a cross chant with one half cheering SMALL PEEN and the other half cheering WITH OLD MAN BALLS. Dud steps to the line after drinking 87 bottles of Miller High Life Lite (he is watching his figure).  A galliant attempt as he is able to piss a steady stream 7 feet 4 inches down the piss track. 

Witchie and Wicked certify it as a valid piss.

Jasmine, the official drug tester, scoops up a handful of the residual piss. She smells it and tastes it to verify there were no PED's used in the competition.  Dud is clear and his distance is recorded.

Gallo is next to go.  He goes to the line and flops out his "giant" penis of 4 inches fully erect.  Jasmine faints.  Suga runs over to give it a good slap so it goes down. 17 hours later, the erection finally subsided.  Wicked and Witchie are woken up for the piss.  Gallo, dehydrated, drinks 32 glasses of green koolaid.  He steps to the line and starts to piss.  Unfortunately for Gallo, the vascetomy did not go as planned and he now pees from his ball sac.  Unable to properly cradle it, Gallo manages a less than stellar attempt of 7 inches. (at least it was longer than his penis)

Wicked and Witchie are rolling on the ground laughing. Jasmine refuses to test for PEDs because of the blood content of the piss.  Suga certifies it as a good piss.

Next up is Lil Boops.  The crowd begins to laugh.  Boops comes up to the line after have 4 full boxes of red wine.  She drops her pants and Mrs. Badcrumble begins to fap in the audience.  14 minutes later, the distraction is resolved and the mess cleaned up.  Boops downs another box of wine and stands on her head.  she spreads her legs and starts spinning on her head.  She unleashes a piss down stream of 14 feet 9 inches. 

Wicked and Witchie forget to certify and ask for points from Boops on how she did that.  They do not want it for pissing but to be able to squirt (future blog competition).  Jasmine tasted it and stated it tasted like tuna fish.  However, that did not disqualify Boops.  Suga certified this as a valid piss.

Finally, Helly and Passion step up to the line.  They both had finished off 7 3 liter bottles of Purple Passion and lean back.  They start to piss and are going strong and steady getting out to 14 feet 3 inches when their streams crossed.

BREAKING NEWS...THIS JUST IN FROM THE DEPTHS OF FU, HELLY AND PASSION CROSSED STREAMS RESULTING IN AN EXPLOSION KILLING ALL THAT WERE PRESENT.  THE ONLY THING FOUND ON THE SCENE WAS DUD'S SMALL PEEN AND OLD MAN BALLS...WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING...

 

 

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