A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says,
'Hey, I haven't seen
you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.'
'What do you mean?' says the pirate, 'I feel fine.'
'What about the wooden leg?' the bartender asks. 'You
didn't have that
before.'
'Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon
ball, but I'm
fine now.' says the pirate.
'Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to
your hand?'
asks the bartender.
'We were in another battle.' replies the pirate. 'I
boarded a ship and got
into a sword fight My hand was cut off. I got fitted
with a hook.
But I'm fine, really.'
So the bartender asks, 'What about that eye patch?'
The pirate replies, 'Oh, one day we were at sea, and a
flock of sea gulls
flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my
eye.'
'You're kidding, ' says the bartender, 'you couldn't
lose an eye just from bird shit.'
The pirate responds...
'It was my first day with the hook.'
