im so fucking sick of this feeling. im sick of feeling passed up, over-looked, left behind, used, unworthy, not good enough, irrelevant.....i dont want to do it anymore. i guess ive always felt that putting up w/ the bullshit proved your dedication. ride or die, right? thats ok, you go for that other girl. ill be waiting right here when thats over. im always here. always waiting. and it just seems to be one guy after another and another. they dont want a gf right now. at least thats what they tell you. then they meet someone else, and suddenly do. im like fucking "good luck, chuck". cant find a gf? date amanda casually, and refuse to make a commitment, you'll meet the girl of your dreams in the process. fuck, actually DATE amanda and that seems to happen. im sick of being treated like im so insignificant. as if its just ok to treat me this way, because what am i going to do about it, right? cry? oh well..... im done. i mean that. i really cant take it anymore. im too damn old to have suicidal thoughts, and they sure as hell shouldnt be over relationships. i want to get out  of my head. more importantly i want to get out of my heart. i want to feel nothing. just long enough to regain my sanity. i hate you.