Saralart's blog: "perk just isnt me."

I want to thank the people who have offered me their support for the past day or so. The update with my sister is that tomorrow at 8 30 am she will have the halo put on if at anytime that goes wrong, they will have to operate and go in through her neck and fix her spine, they found out her arm isnt broken, but her liver has a huge cut, and well her liver is gone. I'm not really sure what the outcome is going to be. My mother is having to go over to the hospital and as some of you know she adoped my sisters oldest daughter and adoped her which is makayla, Lucky I have some of the greatest friends, and I felt so helpless when my mom called and said one of her friends bailed on her to watch makayla tomorrow. I feel much better knowing i have friends i can call and they will be right there. You see I have a friend Lorrie Johnson *formerly blackburn* well after she got married her and her husband howard bought some property just merely Feet From where my mother lives.. When mom told me that she had no one to watch makayla i hung up and called immediately, It was the first number i dialed, I dunno why. Normally at 11 pm she would be asleep but i hoped she wasnt. So tomrrow she will be watching makayla, i feel so much better knowing i have great friends in west virginia, who are there :) so thanks to her and the rest of you who are there for me, as for me getting my car and what not i went and looked at more cars today and im trying to finance a car, ill know tomorrow how it goes with that c ar, if not ill just have to find another car or somewhere else that will finance, although something good has come from this, i found out i only owe huntington bank like 56 dollars when i thought i owed much more haha. I am doing everything i can in someway to make it home on monday, i will be there... reguardless if i have to take a bus. I had to take a nap today i was so wore down, oh did i mention i failed my test by one haha lame. because i dont know any of the laws or regulations, luckly i can go retake it tomorrow. I drove this honda accord, man, it drives so nice five speed.. its sweet i want it so bad :( ill only have to finance 4500.00 because i have a decent down payment. I am not a patient person, i got a lot done today but damn, it seems like everything takes so long so everyone cross your fingers on me being able to get this car because Gosh I love it. Damn it i deserve it! The engine Is sweettttttttt! anyways im off to bed Goodnight and thanks everybody. Ill let yah know how things are after tomorrow.

So mom called me today and i was at work and she left me a msg saying i needed to call her, that something bad happened. If you know me then im sure you know my sister. She was in a bad car accident when i say bad i mean everything since this has been nothing. This morning, at 4 am she was taken to a hospital in West Virginia. i know which one but i cant give out that information for personal reasons. Where She has three broken bones in her neck, and they have to put a halo on her, if that dosent work or goes wrong durring the time they are thing to do that they have to immediately opperate on her spine to fix the three broken bones, her arm is broken and three ribs, she is getting 500 mg of morphine every ten seconds. Also, She has internal bleeding, her spleen is gone and so is her liver. She is currently in an ICU. So do me a favor and pray. She is severely swollen, and is in pretty bad shape. She has to breathe on her own she cant eat or drink, if at anytime she fails to breath because of her broken ribs she will be put on a breathing machine. I know my sister hasnt been the greatest and has her own demons, but shes my sister and i love her so please pray for her for me. Ill be in on monday, if you need to contact me you can email me on here until sunday or call my cell 910 515 3487. Sarah.

Things are looking a bit up i got my tax return, im going to buy a car, im excited, i got my tax return, i went and bought my lil sister some stuff im gonna mail to her, im gonna go buy her a card for build a bear :) for her birthday i think she'll like ethat quite well im gonna try and come in for her birthday, its may sixth, im not reallyl sure if i can make it in for amber and nicks wedding too, which would mean ill miss brandons graduation, but i dont think i could forgive myself if i miss my little sisters 4th birthday or any, i wont allow myself to. Or try to justify missing it, because im not going to. Anyways the car should help out. Yay!. HIGH FIVE FOR ME!

I've never really been afraid of loss in fact i dont think that i have much more in life to gain. I'm 21 I have an old soul. I feel like i should have graduated college five years ago. I graduated in 2003 and its now 2007 I should be graduating this year, i should be finished.. But im not. You see somewhere in life i kind of got lost, and never really made it fully back onto the track. Now Its split so many times, im not really sure how to get back or which road to take anymore. I cant go back because i have to go forward, to go back. I hope to accomplish that this year, This year has to be the year, or i wont be able to live with myself anymore.

i am trying to be positive but right now im jus not. i cant find a job here and i hate it and its making me sick, i want a job i want to work, i want to be able to support myself and be able to do what i want to do career or a job and i need income its drivin me nutzzzzzz.. ehhh.. hopefully i find a job here soon or i dunno if im gonna move or what but i cant just be here and not work and not be able to do anything. I cant stand being in the house as is.. ive been here 2 months and ive looked for a job, going to north myrtle and seeing all the jobs they have there and not being able to find one here, kinda pisses me off. Fuck.