Dear girl with the swollen eyes,
please do yourself a favor and wear sunglasses at all times.
i was sitting in front of you at the cornell graduation on saturday... in front and off to your right, and i am sure you noticed me staring you down. i couldn't help it.
you have the biggest eyes i have ever seen on a girl... or a creature... at all.
they kind of reminded me of ostrich eggs.
now, let me explain something... when i say that they were large... or... ENORMOUS... i don't mean that they were big and pretty.
sweetheart... i was surprised that your eyelids fit over those bulging gooey wet things.
when you laughed... and you did... a lot... like a twelve year old talking about sex... i thought they were going to explode. i was afraid that i was going to have to run off and call an emt...
i couldn't help but make jokes about you. it almost made me feel bad... keyword: almost. (remember boys and girls... i am a self proclaimed cunt of a woman)
i honestly wondered... out loud... to everyone that i was sitting with... just how many times you thought you were making eyes with the cute boy across the bar... only to get up the courage to go and talk to him... and find out that he too couldn't help but think that you were in massive amounts of pain.
with a shocked look on your face at all times.
i would compare your everyday look to the look of surprise on the sixteen year old virgins face when her boyfriend decided that he would ram his twelve inch cock DIRECTLY into her ass.
you are terrifying.
so, as stated before... just do yourself a favor and wear sunglasses.
thankyou and have a nice day,
atarahlynn**
