Terran Nytefyer's blog: "Rantings, Ramblings, & Ruminations"

I know most of you out there are pretty smart … but for the love of everything good and filled with candy, pick up a dictionary, and a grammar book!

I see these mistakes EVERYWHERE - even from people who I believe to be highly intelligent.  (Yes, I know some of you have dyslexia, or some form of it, or some learning disorder … but NOT all of you.)

These rules are NOT hard to remember.  They’re really not.

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Follow along with me, now:

There - A distance; a place; a point in action/thought, etc.   Example: “See that car over there?”  “There are seven ducks here, when I only asked for six!”  “Well, I’ll just stop there, and let you mull it over a bit.”

Their - Possessive  Example: Their car.   Their house.  “Who left their wallet here, with all this money in it?”

They’re - Contraction of “They” and “Are”.  Example: “They’re not coming tonight.”  “They’re kinda cute!”  “They’re wearing ugly shoes. Go kick them in the shin!” 

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Your - Possessive.  Example: “Your car is on fire.”  “Your cat bit my left nostril!”  “Your job is in danger!”

You’re - Contraction of “You” and “Are”.  Example: “You’re an idiot.”  “Oh, so you own that large elephant that keeps shitting on my lawn? You’re an asshole.”  “You’re going to bed without supper.”

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Here - Place, spot, or locality; at a certain point, or juncture.  Example: “Come here, stupid!”  “Hey!  I found my eyeball!  It was right here in my pocket the whole time!”  Here is when the guy stopped talking, to make sure everyone was listening.

Hear - What you do with your ears! (Seriously, how could ANYONE get this WRONG?!)  Example: “Yes, I hear you!”  “No, I didn’t hear that.”  “Hey, did you hear that guy in the bathroom?”

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To - For this one, just read the damned Dictionary.com definition.  Example: “Go to that house and tell me if anyone is home.”  “Come to me.” 

Too - In addition; can be substituted for “also”; more than should be; extremely; can be substituted for “very”.  Example: “I am very happy, too!”  “I sat too close to my mom when she was drunk, and she threw up on my head.”  “I am in too much pain.”

Two - IT’S THE NUMBER, PEOPLE!  THE NUMBER!  HOW CAN YOU GET THIS WRONG?!

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S - Added to most words to form a plural.  Example: Cats.  Dogs.  Cars. Doors.  “I have 27 cats.”  “I love dogs.”

’S - This is a possessive.  It is added to words to show ownership.  Sometimes, it can be substituted for “is” when added to another word.  Example: “My cat’s foot is swollen.”  “My neighbor’s car has for flat tires.”  “That’s kinda stupid …” (That IS kinda stupid.)

Not everything that has an “S” at the end of it NEEDS a fucking apostrophe!  Seriously!