gin's blog: "People of adoption"

In less than 36 hours I will finally be laying eyes on the one i left behind 23 years ago. Not exactly sure how I feel about that, (BULL SHIT) I'm frasked the hell out! but happy at the same time. I'm trying not to have any expectations and not doing to well with that but......... anyway I cant believe that I am going HOME....... backwards.. something I swore I would NEVER do but guess it has to be done. Oh i wish I could STOP the static going on in my head at this very moment I was hopeing that blogging would help and for the most part it is and I am greatful for the quiet, for the space to get all these words that are flying around in my head OUT! If you are reading this please forgive my rambelings I'll be better when I return and thanks for the time you took to read it. I am feeling that my world is spinning and I have no controll of it and that I do not like and when this trip is over and life is back to normal (whatever that is) I'm sure the control will return, the last time I felt this way was the day Lindesy was born, only took a meer 23 years to learn what her name was and now we shall meet THANK GOD!!!!!! Until the next time PEACE g

In 1983 when I was 17 years old I gave a little baby girl up for adoption at the command of my mother. Where I grew up you did what you were told if you knew what was good for you so I did. That just happens to have been 23 years ago. Well in October 2006 I made myself a "myspace" to keep an eye ermmm no "spy" on my son and my niece (she lives with us) well anyway I made this "myspace" thing and I started getting fair at it posting photos seeing what my kids were up to checkin' out stuff in my home town and it happened, one day I logged on to find a message saying "Does the date September 5,1983 mean anything to you?" Well if it does then you are probably my biological mother." OH my GOD I can't hardly think about this still without getting all choaked up even still. Well it was true that date did mean something to me and she REALLY AND TRUELY was the one I left behind. She really was the girl I had been missing her WHOLE ENTIRE life but NO MORE People she is BEAUTIFUL and she is smart and she is a mommy of a way cool 3 year old boy. Her name is Lindsey and his name is Landen I am leaving my wonderful little paradise here in Fort Myers Florida on FEBRUARY 21, 2007 at 6:00 pm to go and meet her. Finally after all this time we will be meeting face to face in less than a month.