At +70 degrees, Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Pennsylvania go swimming in the rivers.
At +60 degrees North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Pennsylvania plant gardens.
At +50 degrees Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Pennsylvania sunbathe.
At +40 degrees Italian & English cars wont start.
People in Pennsylvania drive with the windows down.
At +32 degrees distilled water freezes.
The Susquehanna River water gets thicker.
At +20 degrees Flordians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in Pennsylvania throw on a flannel shirt.
At +15 degrees New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Pennsylvania have the last cookout before it gets cold.
At +10 degrees people in Miami all die.
Keystoners lick the flagpoles.
At 0 degrees Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Pennsylvania get out their winter coats.
At -10 degrees Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Pennsylvania are selling cookies door to door.
At -25 degrees polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Pennsylvania Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it really gets cold enough.
At -30 degrees Mount St. Helens freezes.
People in Pennsylvania rent some videos.
At -40 degrees Santa Claus abandonds the North Pole.
Keystoners get frusterated because they cant thaw the keg.
At -45 degrees Microbial life no longer survives on diary products.
Cows in Pennsylvania complain about farmers with cold hands.
At -60 degrees ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People In Pennsylvania start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
At -100 degrees Hell freezes over.
The Philadephia Eagles win the Super Bowl.
