Our past has killed me inside out,
I'm left wondering what you're about.
Memories flash before my eyes, scenes of another time,
Around the time you committed your crime.
~~~~~
Christmas time was drawing near,
Erasing people's everyday fears.
Presents were placed beneath the trees,
Every heart was filled with glee.
There you were, with another girl,
The thought of it made me want to hurl.
Drinking and drugs were both used,
Two substances that should never be abused.
It happened on a wintery night, a light coating of snow covering the ground,
When, apparantly, no one was around.
She slipped in bed, quietly drunk,
With my man is where she wanted to bunk.
Whatever happened, I'll never know,
I've heard plenty of stories, though.
Someone saw and reported the crime,
Nobody knew the exact time.
A girl was violated, that's all we knew,
I knew not what to do.
I couldn't believe it, it couldn't be true,
Suddenly my world turned so very blue.
My heart stopped breathing out love for you,
Wondering how the hell did it you do.
Being a victim me, myself,
I placed my heart upon a shelf.
Safe and protected, that's where I wanted it,
I wanted away from the cold winter's bit.
All I felt was stone-cold anger, a quiet fury,
I wanted all my feelings for us to bury.
Time went on as the truths came out,
Nobody knew what it was about.
I tried to go on, as if I didn't know,
Around us, a chilly winter wind did blow.
You looked at me, and promised me this:
"I didn't do it. We had such bliss."
I believed every word you said,
Inside I felt very little dread.
Then one day, you were gone,
Of the law, you became a fawn.
Placed on probation for two full years,
The mere words and my eyes filled with tears.
We broke it off, and said goodbye,
I walked alone; no one ever saw me cry.
~~~~~
Here we are, a full year later,
To the law, we have to cater.
Another year and your time is up,
Place your memories in a cup.
Seal it up and toss it out,
Nothing for you to worry about.
But I'm left here, broken and battered,
People act as if it doesn't matter.
I'm left here to pay your price,
My heart is stuck in this vice.
It squeezes tighter with every thought,
Sometimes I wish, of this I forgot.
You're doing your time, you're paying your dues,
I'm left alone to deal with my blues.
How to trust you, I don't know,
An icy wind, over my heart did blow.
It chilled it out and forgot about us,
What's a relationship with no trust?
A year later and I'm still hurt,
Our past, with me it still does flirt.
The hurt goes on and nobody knows,
My scars are hidden beneath my clothes.
Beneath my skin, I hold my pain,
I still feel I'm to blame.
Not the best friend, I know that for sure,
I don't think for that there's a cure.
I did my best, I thought I did,
About still loving you, I did fib.
I love you still, I really do,
But I hate my feelings for your crime do brew.
I have to pay the price for you,
Because of this, my heart's broken in two.
I don't know what to say to you, I don't know how to act,
Life hurts, and that's a simple fact.
