dragon heart Cs love's blog: "past"

it was june 12 1995 we were called out because a 16 year old girl had gone missing . if eny of you know new brunswick then you know about gorden falls . well we started our serch there the last place she was seen . her and some friends went camping ther over night , had some drinks and got stoned . she had got up in the middle of the night and went to do her biusness . it had just rained so the ground was still slick and she slid down the inbankment and over the clift to the water . now gorden falls has an undertoe that can hold trees under water . as i said thats were we started our search , i was part of the dive team . nothing was found at gorden falls so we widend the search . i was then with a team going down stream from the falls . we walked for about 20 minutes and found her dead , she had drowned . sents i was the diver in the bunch i had to go in and get her . her skin pealed of in my hands but i couldnt leave her ther so i fulled her out she had been a thin girl but the water had blooted her twice her normal size .werst of all her parents were at the home base so you can emagine what happened when we got her there . well thank you for reading this and remember ther a thousands of men and women out ther doing that job every day , please respect them .

some time ago some one put a bulletin up about being country . well no were on it did i see the werd out house . when i was little we had to shoval our way to the out house in the winter we didnt have running water . you had an old hand pump in the sink .you had to boil the water to take a bath , no tubsit was a wash bassen .you heated your home by fire wood , i meen i know i lived out in the hills of havlock but noon of this was in ther description of country . does that meen im a hill billy .lol.

ya no when i was younger i ran after women like candy .allways some thing sweeter comeing up . but now im just a little older and well i see things diferently . dont get me wrong i still love a sexy women but that dosent always mean her looks .some times its the way they make you feel or the way they treat you . all women to me are beautiful in ther own way , so dont just rate them on looks alone . but if they want you to be just a little nasty hay funs fun right .

i was just setting here and the song im leaving on a jet plane just came on by john denver . that was the last song i herd in canada the first time i went on a tore over seas to chad africa . i remember sitting in a church with my friends for the last survice before departure .and that song came on , that song holds a lot for me i guess we all have things that take us back to happier times .

i guess if i put this in here that in some small way ill get some clossier .ive seen some prity grafick stuff in my time cut up bodies to sixteen year old girls that ive pulled out of the water after 36 hours . just in case your thinking how , i used to be in a search and resceu called tri county, here in new brunswick. even when i was in the army ive been shot at and shot at poeple and have hit some .but my point is they always try to get you to talk about what happend . but you never forget those images that are in your minds eye.as i said there are some things id rather just forget but cant and never will i guess . but i have come to gripps with them ,i havent forgiven my self for some but i can live with them . i guess thats why i have such a great respect for men and women that risk all to save some . it is the werst job in the world when you just found some ones lost child dead in the woods ,you just wish you could bring them back to life but you cant .well this beers for all those HEROS out there .