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Mrs DarkAngel's blog: "My Poems "

created on 04/24/2012  |  http://fubar.com/my-poems/b347806

Past The Point Of No Return


It is a crisp fall night without a soul in sight. I am stowed away for the evening, with in the chamber I write. The memories within haunt me just as a demon preys upon the soul of a un- christened child. Cold and dark with Embers casting shadows; within the chamber walls I fight. The darkness is here, this is the point of no return. No way to undo what I have done.


I wallow in my own Self pity. The shiny razor, It breaths life, It inflicts pain, the pain I need to understand. I cut my self, not for the mere prescience to kill myself, but to feel the pain, just before I die, so that I shall feel alive, one last time. The blade sharp as a thorn, Slices the flesh, so flawless, so beautiful. The blood thickens, the minutes quicken Pain has been inflicted. So helpless am I, Yearning for guidance. But no one hears my Cries. No one cares.


The cries, the tears, the pain, no one sees my fears. At last I have reached the point Of no return. This is the final threshold, no turning back. I face an uncertainty, which is surly death.


I hear a voice, a voice within the chamber walls. This is absurd to fascinate the thought of someone penetrating the chamber walls. Can this be; I think not! The voice taunts me, it haunts me. My destiny put on hold for a mere moment, a moment as I ponder to what this voice maybe. The source that has not been found. Could this be a though speaking aloud; could it be my final words before my demise?


I saunter throughout the chamber, In search of the mystery, the mystery of whom. Whom may it be; the angel of death announcing his presence? I search for the answer to whom it maybe.  Whom it is with the intention of breaching these walls. These walls; I have cast to convey my sanctuary. Step by step I proceed through the halls of darkness. I enlighten the darkened halls, with the fire that cascades from the fortifications. Room by room I search; I search within  but still nothing, nothing but I and the darkness at the back of every corner. The darkness that is darker than night takes residence in these very rooms. I stand alone staring into the unknown.


Again the voice; it nevertheless calls to I. It calls to me; it speaks my name, it knows me! How can this be; this monstrosity; to even fascinate, the possibility, that my sanctuary could have been violated. Silently I stare into the darkness I wait, without a sound to be found. There is nothing here; nothing more than I, I and the darkness. The voice it has subsided. I wonder back towards my den; ever so cautiously, I place each step strategically so as not to make a sound, or a vibration to be felt.


Suddenly I pause in the darkness; there are steps in my sanctum; not footprints of mine, I am unmoving and nevertheless they are perceptible. How can this be; there is nobody but I; but nevertheless sound, Resonance from a source not yet found. The sanctum lit dim; candlelight flicker within; nobody near, except solitude here. I stare within; the sounds so lucid; so vivid; but yet nothing, nothing is here but I. The sentiment of trepidation, it consumes me. It involves a mind uttering play upon my very sanity.


Unaccompanied is I. The Footsteps they have departed; weary is I this can enlighten A prospect, a sufficient rationalization of why. The why to the question of the insanity; the insanity within my mind; how could I fascinate the possibility that someone has penetrated my chamber; Outlandish I am, with these weary eyes.


I wonder back in route for my chair; Lost within my last write was I; before the deception of my wits arrived. An arrival I did not anticipate; nor could I fascinate the intrusion that was to be felt. Returned to the chair is I; glancing about; no steps; no voice, just I and the crackling sounds of the cinders turning to dying embers. Soft tender sounds that entrance me; a lullaby of peace; gently rocking me to sleep. A nod or two could not hurt.


Into the realm of a time I used to know all too well; my soul and her within a dream I yearn.  What a love I possessed for her. She was once my companion; she was all that mattered. It was as to hold an angel in my arms; life was complete. A dance; as close as two can be; a breath upon my skin, as to breathe life into my lifeless body. Upon a moonlit beach; two souls uniting as one; waves cresting upon the sands of time, without a care in the world is I.  Sarah my angel of the night; I on bended knee; her hand upon mine. All I ask for is one lifetime; one lifetime of your love.

 Awaiting her answer is I; a tear breaching upon her beautiful eyes; heading for the great descend; my life, my heart, my next breath hangs in what that tear means. I have brought her here in pursuit of my deepest urge. Without second thoughts she has decided. At last the point of no return; at last no thoughts of if or when. A banded thought; games of make believe at end, her mouth opens. This is the final thresh hold, heart races, hand quivers. There is no going back now; was my question right or wrong; the greatest quest is before me. Just say it Sarah; say you will share with me one life time, and save me from my solitude. Her lips part she is about to speak.


Awakened is I; no kind words from anyone. A night mare within a dream I once lived; this is the fate that has caused me to wallow in blood. Her face; her tear haunts me in the night; I have faced my fate. Sarah, oh my angel; for so long but still gone I have loved you. I hide my face so the world is to never find me. Sarah I love you; tears streaming like a hard rain. In sleep she comes to me; for now I have found my angel once again. She is inside my mind; wrapped within in a dream, her spirit and her voice are inside my dreams. Soon my fantasies shall come true; all my dreams fulfilled; I shall dream for eternity; to be with you Sarah.


I slice silently through the life lines. Slowly; gently I pull the cold steel upon my soft skin. Eyes closed; my spirit starts to sow; I am about to live as I never have. Secretly possessing the one; the angel within the darkness I cannot find. My journey to a strange new world is about to be; mind opening; fantasies unwinding. Evil thoughts of the world before; my soul will take me to where I want to be. Floating; trust me; I have subsided to the power of my angel. I gave you my heart; you betrayed me; I was bound to love you, why could you not see. Sarah my angel I just wanted your love and one life time.


Beckoned within the night is I again; words it is a voice. But to whom; to whom the voice may be is the mystery. Into the night I stare; only candle light here; breath it is visible; the room has a bitter chill I say. Voice calls to me again; my angel is that you to I question. Not a sound; quiet and still as the sea before a storm. I peer into the darkness; a shadow cascades in the corner; fright over comes me. What force is coming to my lair; could it be; the angel of death. The chamber not as I knew it; changed within; shadow comes to gather strength. Walks from within the darkness to become apparent. My angel it is you; the one who calls to me; not a word spoken just standing before I.


Sarah I had loved you; had no second thoughts; no backward glances. For last I have reached the point of no return; seduction has won. The final thresh hold; no way to undo what I have done. I have been brought to you; were speech turns into silence. And now you are here, with me once again, at last I have decided, with no second thoughts. No right or wrong; no use resisting, the rage that love has shown. Last the point of no return; I brought you here as the memories run dry; now you are here with I; no way to undo what I have done. My angel it is you who I have yearned the cries for. The greatest love is about to begin; saved is I from solitude; no more to the dungeon of this mask I have cast. This shall be my last breath. All who read these words written in blood shall know the secrets of the angel in hell.


Within my chamber you shall find; written in blood; upon the stone walls a story of a love. No more lies in hell; I shall no longer hide within the sanction of this lair. No point in fighting; either way I chose she wins. At last the point of no return; the prize is the love I urn for. I gave you my heart; you betrayed it; now with the uncertainty which is surely death; I give to the one I love my soul for eternity.




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