ok I have been checking the history when i get home every morning and I noticed that my boyfriend has been looking up porn ( that doesn't bother me i like porn but he says he didn't do it and there is only the two of us on this computer) and his ex girlfriends.....he's made a myspace profile and won't add me as a friend. a few months back I was getting these text messages from a dating service he was suscribed to, he also didn't know anything about. and was messaging this 16 year old things like I'm wanting and hoping to hear from you soon, the pics on your profile look amazing... his excuse was he was setting his cousin up with her. now it may just be my paranoia but now he has added aim and i found a personals thing on the history, I'm a very jealous person psychotic doesn't even begin to describe what I would be if another lame asshole is cheating on me. I'll neuter him with a butter knife. but the main thing is why can't some just be honest? if you don't want to be with some one just say hey I wanna fuck this chick. I might want to fuck her too. I've ALWAYS been faithful and ALWAYS brutally honest... all i'm asking for is that in return am I asking too much? I consider myself somewhat attractive and somewhat smart. I have my bitchy moments but all and all am a very calm rational person. I am hurting just thinking that i've devoted a good chunk of time to this guy and he acts like I'm his fucking roommate. sex life is well.... slow but I am a nympho. he bought me a used video of the russian circus from the thrift store for my fucking birthday... you know what I got him? a big ass 72 inch tv and a tuxedo t shirt I spent 40 dollars on because he wanted it! two weeks after my birthday he bought himself a nintendo ds now christmas is approaching and he wants a fucking shit load.... what will i get? no one knows. Please tell me is it me or am I in a shitty relationship? I know the answer....and the sad part is I know what I need to do and haven't done it yet....mainly because being alone is so hard for me...as much as you think differently not many ppl ask me out unless they think i'm easy which I'm not. i'm just dissapointed in myself for being so stupid ....again!
