Over 16,513,838 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?

Rochdale couple John and Barbara Deccles have spoken of their concern over their 19-year-old son Nathan’s inability to maintain virtual relationships.

‘We can’t get him online’, confessed an embarrassed Mr Daccles. ‘He just locks himself away in the pub and we don’t see him for days. When he’s not down at the Rat and Parrot drinking, he’s playing football or going to the cinema,’ added his mother. ‘I doubt he’s ever Tweeted in his life. It’s not natural for a boy his age’.

The couple admit to going to extreme lengths to cover up their son’s inadequacies. ‘His father trawls the Web for hours pretending to be Nathan, just to keep the neighbours from talking,’ said Mrs Deccles. ‘I’ve lost count of the amount of pornography John’s downloaded.’

‘When I’m at the pub with my mates, they’re all busy on Twitter,’ said Nathan, ‘telling people who aren’t there what a great time they’re having, but I just want to play pool or talk to girls and stuff.

‘Put me in front of a chatroom and I just fall apart’, Nathan admitted. ‘I doubt I’d ever go online at all,’ he added, ‘if it wasn’t so fantastically useful for masturbation – which they keep on complaining to me about down at the Rat and Parrot.’

Leave a comment!
html comments NOT enabled!
NOTE: If you post content that is offensive, adult, or NSFW (Not Safe For Work), your account will be deleted.[?]

giphy icon
last post
13 years ago
posts
13
views
5,156
can view
everyone
can comment
everyone
atom/rss

other blogs by this author

 13 years ago
Darkness Never lasts
 14 years ago
Motorway of the week
official fubar blogs
 8 years ago
fubar news by babyjesus  
 13 years ago
fubar.com ideas! by babyjesus  
 10 years ago
fubar'd Official Wishli... by SCRAPPER  
 10 years ago
Word of Esix by esixfiddy  

discover blogs on fubar

blog.php' rendered in 0.0879 seconds on machine '54'.