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kittycelt's blog: "Parenting"

created on 03/12/2007  |  http://fubar.com/parenting/b63989

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH

1.IF A CHILD LIVES WITH CRITICISM, HE/SHE LEARNS TO CONDEMN. 2.IF A CHILD LIVES WITH HOSTILITY, HE/SHE LEARNS TO FIGHT. 3.IF A CHILD LIVES WITH RIDICULE, HE/SHE LEARNS TO BE SHY. 4.IF A CHILD LIVES WITH SHAME, HE/SHE LEARNS TO FEEL GUILTY. 5.IF A CHILD LIVES WITH TOLERANCE, HE/SHE LEARNS TO BE PATIENT. 6.IF A CHILD LIVES WITH PRAISE, HE/SHE LEARNS TO APPRECIATE. 7.IF A CHILD LIVES WITH ENCOURAGEMENT, HE/SHE LEARNS CONFIDENCE. 8.IF A CHILD LIVES WITH FAIRNESS, HE/SHE LEARNS JUSTICE. 9.IF A CHILD LIVES WITH SECURITY, HE/SHE LEARNS TO HAVE FAITH. 10.IF A CHILD LIVES WITH APPROVAL, HE/SHE LEARNS TO LIKE THEMSELVES. 11.IF A CHILD LIVES WITH ACCEPTANCE, HE/SHE LEARNS TO FIND LOVE IN THE WORLD...

Don't Mess with Mom

>>DON'T MESS WITH MOM >> >>My son came home from school one day, >>with a smirk upon his face. >>He decided he was smart enough, >> put me in my place. >> >>Guess what I learned in Civics Two, >>that's taught by Mr. Wright? >>It's all about the laws today, >>The "Children's Bill of Rights." >> >>It says I need not clean my room, >>don't have to cut my hair. >>No one can tell me what to think, >>or speak, or what to wear. >> >>I have freedom from religion, >>and regardless what you say, >>I don't have to bow my head, >>and I sure don't have to pray. >> >>I can wear earrings if I want, >>and pierce my tongue & nose. >>I can read & watch just what I like, >>get tattoos from head to toe. >> >>And if you ever spank me, >>I'll charge you with a crime. >>I'll back up all my charges, >>with the marks on my behind. >> >>Don't you ever touch me, >>my body's only for my use, >>not for your hugs and kisses, >>that's just more child abuse. >> >>Don't preach about your morals, >>like your Mama did to you. >>That's nothing more than mind control, >>And it's illegal too! >> >>Mom, I have these children's rights, >>so you can't influence me, >>Or I'll call Children's Services Division, >>better known as C.S .D. >> >>Of course my first instinct was >>To toss him out the door. >>But the chance to teach him a lesson >>made me think a little more. >> >>I mulled it over carefully, >>I couldn't let this go. >>A smile crept upon my face, >>he's messing with a pro. >> >>Next day I took him shopping >>at the local Goodwill Store. >>I told him, "Pick out all you want, >>there's shirts & pants galore. >> >>I've called and checked with C.S.D. >>who said they didn't care >>if I bought you K-Mart shoes >>instead of those Nike Airs. >> >>I've canceled that appointment >>to take your driver 's test. >>The C.S.D. is unconcerned >>so I'll decide what 's best. >> >>I said "No time to stop and eat, >>or pick up stuff to munch. >>And tomorrow you can start to learn >>to make your own sack lunch. >> >>Just save the raging appetite, >>and wait till dinner time. >>We're having liver & onions >>A favorite of mine! >> >>He asked "Can I please rent a movie, >>to watch on my VCR? >>"Sorry, but I sold your TV, >>for new tires on my car. >> >>I also rented out your room, >>you'll take the couch instead. >>The C.S.D. requires just >>a roof over your head. >> >>Your clothing won't be trendy now, >>I'll choose what we eat. >>That allowance that you used to get, >>will buy me something neat. >> >>I'm selling off your jet ski, >>dirt-bike & roller blades. >>Check out the "Parents Bill of Rights," >>It's in effect today! >> >>Hey hot shot, are you crying, >>why are you on your knees? >>Are you asking God to help you out, >>instead of C.S.D..? >> >>Send to all people that have teenagers or have already raised >>teenagers, >>or have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be >>parents >>someday, OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH
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