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Sinnful's blog: "Pain"

created on 11/02/2007  |  http://fubar.com/pain/b149215

deep thought

Its messed up when you have someone on your mind and u can’t get them off of it... Its messed up when u have someone in your heart and u can’t get them out... I hate the way life is sometimes...She left me so quickly, yet it is hard to move on with my life... It wasn’t mutual.... I still feel destroyed inside without being able to share my life with the woman I love.... She is in my every waking moment and it hurts... I feel like a fucking loser and a fucking retard with my mind and heart still caught in the past... I lost her cause of the mistakes I have made and my ways I just couldn’t change... It hurts the pain is unbearable in my heart and yet I wake up every fucking morning... My life is simple now and so boring with no one to share it with... She is the only one that I wanted to share my life and my love with... When you have had the best woman in your life in every single way possible... u know no one can ever get close to that...She was my soul mate and I miss her badly... She was my best friend and now she is gone..... Every where I go she is there in everything I see, touch and smell.... I miss her touch, her kisses, her love, her smile, her warm and comforting embrace, and all those little things that drive u crazy the look, the hair over the shoulder, the head on your chest, the smell when she walks in the room, and the way your heart flutters when she walks in, and the simple " BABY I LOVE U" that makes my heart melt and now bleed with pain... I’d give anything to have just one of those things even the little arguments about the little things that really do not matter.... My heart aches and yet I still wake up every morning, and wonder why it hurts.....

just some crazy thoughts

Ok I sit here in my bed on this computer and wonder why people are the way they are. Just a little background information I have had a rough year. I lost 11 family members this year so far and i have lost 15 really close friends you know the friends that you grew up with and stayed in touch. On top of they my wife decided since I went on a deployment that i might not come back and fell in love with another man. Moving him into my house. upon my return i found a lot of stuff missing or gone. She moved out with him. that sums up about the last year in my life. Now what bothers me about this world why is it no matter what I say, do, or post in a description the people that i really dont want to talk too hit me up. OMG it is freaking insane how many darn CAM GIRLS are out there. has everyone lost their selfrespect. oh well that i enough for now. I ma going to ait till i get drunk and then post again.
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