Over the years, there has been much in the way of terminology that is thrown around. Most of which is terminology that most "vanilla" individuals may not have even heard of let alone experienced. Today, I thought I would start with the most basic of terms that is heard quite often in the realm of BDSM & SM play.
Subspace (or sub-space)...
This term is used to describe what most submissive individuals find as a 'happy-place' where endorphin’s kick in after experiencing some type of triggering activity. Most of the time, subspace is accomplished when pain is inflicted. For some, it doesn't require much and for others that We like to call, "pain-sluts" it requires a great deal. Either way, the subspace can be reached in many different ways and in many different levels.
Service sluts can typically find their space when in service. Whether it is sexual service or domestic service they find comfort and a safe place when put into action and left to do their thing.
Spanking sluts typically find their space very easily as well, or sometimes in more extreme manners. In one playful situation, I watched one Dominate take his submissive over his knee where he proceeded to spank her until her butt was quite black and blue. This took at least 30 minutes or more and about 15 minutes into it, she went from a crying, kicking, screaming and non-compliant submissive to a very docile and purring girl who when he was finished curled up in the corner and was left to her little world.
I have owned 'rope' sluts Myself, where I have literally watched My submissive take a huge leap from very coherent state to a state that some might recognize as a drug-induced high just by being touched with some good rope and feeling it across their skin. Although there are NO drugs involved (and I assure you if there ever is, they will not be welcome back in My play space again) there is a drug that our own mind that throws our own brains into a very euphoric state.
Endorphins, neurotransmitters that are used by the human body to give the body some type of signal that there is pain being inflicted and helping the body cope with making that pain a bit more distant. A natural pain killer. Some submissive's have learned over time and experience that they can take these euphoric feelings and instead of feeling pain, feel excitement and pleasure.
As most are very aware, women have a higher pain tolerance than men, but I have had some men who I have called "iron-butts" in front of me that have built up a huge pain tolerance that is highly competitive with what I have seen some women endure on a consensual basis. The job of the Dom is to find that fine line of pain and pleasure and toy with it, cross it just a few centimeters and then come back bring the mind of the submissive back and forth to see where they can be pushed and toyed with and yet not cross it to a point where the submissive finds the pain to be too much and is snapped out of their comfort zone. Of course, there are times in which the relationship and the negotiation of a scene might encourage that huge push by a Dominate, but it should always be at the consent of the submissive.
I, personally, enjoy keeping My submissive in a constant state of awareness, not allowing them to become too comfortable with their state of mind. It also helps build up their tolerance so that playtime can be increased and new types of sensations can be introduced through out the scene. My job is to watch the body of the submissive, and listen to their moans and groans in hopes of finding that line and quickly stepping over it to push them just a little bit farther than the last time we visited that place. Each time this is accomplished there is a bond that is created between that submissive and that Dominate that will allow the next time to be just as intense if not more. This also allows the submissive to walk away with a sense of accomplishment and a deep seeded trust that is unique in it's own way.
It is crucial for a Dominate to find that fine line and explore it as they see fit, but at the same time be very aware that everyone's line is much different than the next. The variety of submissive that plays in our lifestyle and entrusts you with their well-being is too vast to even comprehend. Finding the right combination takes patience and is time consuming at times.
There is what some might see as a downside to helping a submissive find their subspace. That is what We call "subdrop" and the importance of "aftercare" by the Dominate...
*Note: This article is written based upon the position of Lady Velvet Noir. It is NOT necessarily the same opinion of every other Dominate, nor should it be. Everyone sees this lifestyle much different than the next. Should you see room for another subject or would like to suggest a subject please feel free to visit Lady Velvet at her website at: www.ladyvelvetnoir.com*
