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The religion that has the greatest affinity with your belief system is: Your belief system is 72% compatible with Neo-Pagan religious beliefs. Neo-Pagan groups like Wicca and Druidism and the others, have different faiths, but tend to be polytheistic, they believe in multiple gods and goddesses. Most groups also have a highly personal relationship with nature and its seasons, observing important rituals throughout the year to express their faith. It appears that you are also interested in the natural world and the significance it has in your life. Recent attempts to reconstruct the ancient pagan faith — nearly wiped out after years of persecution — have unearthed spiritual texts and a highly secretive oral tradition. While the history of their religion is important, most Neo-Pagan practitioners worship in solitude, performing rituals of personal significance to express their own highly individual spirituality. Perhaps you too enjoy being alone when you want to reflect about your spirituality. How did Neo-Paganism come to be? Modern paganism, called Neo-Paganism, encompasses many religions that are adopted from the original tribal faiths of ancient Europe, Africa, Asia, the Americas, Oceania, and Australia, which were generally interested in the natural world and their place within it. The desire to revive these ancient religions emerged in the 1950s and 1960s, and in 1954, Gerald Brousseau Gardner published Witchcraft Today, one of the pivotal books on Neo-Paganism. His book documented the secret lore of a nearly extinct pagan religion that he learned about through a pagan woman's first-hand accounts. Since then, many Neo-Pagan religions have formed, including Wicca, Druidism, and Goddess worship. And since the advent of the Internet, there has been an unusually high growth rate of Neo-Pagan religions due to the increased availability of information. Some estimate that Neo-Paganism is doubling in size every two and a half years. Is Neo-Paganism beginning to resonate with you? Well, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Get specific information about Neo-Paganism's god and goddesses, its beliefs about the origin of the world, its take on the afterlife, and some key aspects that make the religion unique in the Core Religious Beliefs and You section below. Your religion report Core religious beliefs and you What's your spiritual style? History behind the test For More Reading In addition to more information about the religion you're most compatible with, find out how closely aligned your belief system is with the other 9 major world religions we tested for. Use this information not only to become more aware of what you might share with other traditions seemingly outside your faith, but also to gain a greater understanding of and tolerance for the people who practice different religions from yours. Neo-Paganism You're 72% compatible with Neo-Pagan beliefs. Gods and goddesses Neo-Pagans believe that there are multiple gods and goddesses that oversee different aspects of nature. For example, in most Neo-Pagan religions, the Goddess represents an amalgam of many goddesses from varied ancient pagan traditions and she guides us through the transitions in our lives. First, there is the Maiden who represents the vigor and sexuality of our youth, then the Mother who symbolizes a powerful confidence, fertility, and nurturing, and finally, the Crone who is wise, experienced, and compassionate. She is the one who would guide you through to death. Origin of the World Ancient pagan beliefs about the origin of the world are many and varied. Today's Neo-Pagans may or may not believe the ancient creation stories to be true, but most are probably interested in the symbolism they offer. Here's an example of an ancient pagan creation story told by Nordic peoples: In the beginning, there was a void called Ginnungagap, which means something akin to "yawning gap." Alongside the Ginnungagap, there existed two lands: the Niflheim — the northern land of fog and ice — and the Muspelheim — the southern land of fire. In the north, 11 rivers sprang from a spring that flowed toward the gap and froze until it filled a portion of the gap. At the same time, lava and other molten material flowed from the south into the southern portion of the gap. Then, the fire and ice mingled and formed a giant called Ymir and a cow called Audhumla. Ymir drank the cow's milk and drifted off into a deep sleep. As he slept, the sweat of his armpit formed two frost giants, male and female, and from his legs, another male frost giant. Meanwhile, the cow licked salty ice to gain nourishment, and this licking created the god Buri. Buri had a son named Bor, who killed Ymir. As Ymir died, his blood drained from his body and caused a huge flood that drowned all of the frost giants, leaving only the god Bor and his three sons. The three sons of Bor placed Ymir's body into the Ginnungagap and created the Earth from it. Afterlife Most Neo-Pagans do believe in some form of reincarnation; however, beliefs about the specifics are not consistent within Neo-Paganism. Because the religion tends to draw solo practitioners, the beliefs from one Neo-Pagan to the next are largely individual. What makes it unique? Neo-Pagans tend to worship outside in nature whenever possible because much of their spirituality is tied to the cycles of life and the changing of the seasons. The majority of Neo-Pagans worship by designing private rituals; a few do, however, form small groups so that they can worship in the company and support of others. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Unitarian Universalism You're 69% compatible with Unitarian Universalist beliefs. God Unitarian Universalists have widely varying beliefs about God — from agnostic to polytheistic. As such, it is an extremely tolerant religion and welcomes diverse individual spiritual orientation and many views on the concept of God. Origin of the World Unitarian Universalism believes that the creation stories of all world religions are mythical — some adherents just enjoy them for their symbolism. The organization's official position on the origin of the world supports the big bang theory — that a cosmic explosion marked the beginning of the universe — and further scientific exploration. Afterlife Unitarian Universalist beliefs about the afterlife are as varied as their beliefs about God. For the most part, however, Unitarian Universalists do not believe that the soul is reincarnated after death. In fact, the organization's official position on the matter is disbelief in reincarnation, but a Unitarian Universalist church would not disapprove of a member's belief in reincarnation. What makes it unique? What sets Unitarian Universalism apart from other religions is their view on religious tolerance. The church is organized around a broad set of moral ideologies, which invites a diverse congregation that welcomes any member. Since members are actively encouraged to seek the spiritual truth that is most true for them as individuals, there is a diverse variety of ideas and this can be confusing or stimulating, depending on your perspective. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Native American You're 67% compatible with Native American religious beliefs. Gods and Goddesses Native Americans believe that their multiple gods and goddesses rule different aspects of nature. For example, Estsanatlehi (meaning "changing woman") is the ageless Navajo goddess of time and change. She's responsible for the changing of the seasons and for birth and death. Some Native American religions also believe in a primary God, referred to as the Great Spirit, who is the Earth's creator and the overseer of humankind. The Origin of the World There are a variety of traditional Native American beliefs about the origin of the world. Generally speaking, however, most believe that the world was started by a "God of creation." For example, this is the Chippewa's creation story: Long ago the Creator sat alone in the darkness thinking, and with His thoughts formed Mother Earth. Then He covered Mother Earth lovingly with many trees, plants, and animals. The world He created was beautiful, yet he grew lonely. From the soil of the Earth, he formed the first man and the first woman and gave them tools to aid in their survival. To the man, He gave a bow and arrow for hunting. To the woman, he gave a basket for gathering seeds. He then blew life into each of them, first the woman, then the man. When the humans first lived, they accepted their duty to take care of Mother Earth, to not be greedy, and to give back equally what they had taken. Afterlife Most Native American religions do not have firm beliefs about what happens after death. Some are comfortable not having a definitive explanation, some believe in a spiritual life after death, and some believe you are reincarnated, either into an animal or a human. What makes it unique? What sets the Native American religions apart from others is their passion for the Earth and the natural world. They have traditionally stressed the close relationship between man and nature and the need to protect the Earth and the environment. This belief is completely integrated into their religions. In their eyes, the Divine and nature are one. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Baha'i You're 55% compatible with Baha'i beliefs. God The Baha'i believe in a single, all-powerful, all-knowing God. Like Islam, the Baha'i believe that God has sent a series of prophets to Earth. However, unlike Islam, the Baha'i believe that God will continue to send prophets over and above the 10 prophets he's sent so far, including Krishna, Jesus, Buddha, and Muhammad, as well as the two prophets of the Baha'i religion, The Báb and Bahá'u'lláh. Origin of the World The Baha'i religion does not contain a creation story. It interprets the stories in the sacred texts of the major world religions as primarily mythical and seeks to understand their symbolism. Afterlife The Baha'i religion teaches that each person's soul lives on after death and is then free to travel the spirit world, which they conceive of as an extension of this world. What makes it unique? Unlike the other 9 major world religions, the Baha'i religion believes that peace will come when the world unifies under a single religion and a single government. It attempts to resolve the differences among Abrahamic Faiths and between the Vedic Faiths and unify all people under the Baha'i religion. To support the cause of world peace, the Baha'i World Faith is among the most socially active, if not the most socially active religious organization on the planet. They work toward equality for all people and are concerned with human rights issues worldwide. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hinduism You're 55% compatible with Hindu beliefs. It might surprise you to learn that Hinduism also has a good amount in common with Buddhism. Here's why: Both religions are informed by the sacred texts known as the Vedas and because of that are called the Vedic Faiths. Also, both religions believe in the combination of reincarnation— the cycle of birth-death-rebirth — and Karma — the notion that a person's good and bad deeds will have an effect on their future lives, for better or worse. Gods and goddesses Hindus believe that there are multiple gods and goddesses that rule different aspects of life, but that they all make up one Divine essence. For example, they believe in Ganesha, the elephant-headed Hindu god of success and overcoming obstacles, who is also associated with wisdom and power. They also believe in the Divine Mother called Devi (meaning "mother goddess"). She is both gentle in her efforts to bring and protect life, and terrible in her efforts to bring death and destruction. Origin of the World There are many Hindu explanations for the origin of the world, but all recognize Brahma as the God of creation. Here's a version of the Hindu creation story: In the beginning all was undifferentiated and in perfect harmony and Vishnu lay relaxed on his serpent, Sheshnag. As Vishnu opened his eyes, creation began. A lotus flower emerged from his navel and birthed the god of creation, Brahma. Brahma proceeded to create the universe in the form of a golden egg, called the Hiranyagarbha, which means "the golden womb." Afterlife Hindus believe that the soul is reincarnated through something called transmigration — at death, the soul is reborn into another body. In this way, each soul engages in a continual process of birth-death-rebirth over many lifetimes and in each its Karma will dictate the kind of life it will have. For example, if a soul has accumulated enough good Karma, it may be reborn into a life where it enjoys more comfort and has more opportunity to share the knowledge it has gained through behaving the right way. After living many lives of continued good Karma, one may reach a state of Nirvana where it will be free finally from the cycle of birth-death-rebirth. What makes it unique? The Hindus' belief that their social position in this life is entirely due to their behavior in the last creates a rigid social hierarchy. If you were to give it a motto, it might read, "You get what you deserve." They believe that it's only through concentrated effort in this life that you may be able to positively affect your social position in the next and move further along your path toward Enlightenment. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Buddhism You're 54% compatible with Buddhist beliefs. It might surprise you to learn that Buddhism also has a good amount in common with Hinduism. Here's why: First of all, Buddhism grew out of a Hindu culture and both religions are informed by the sacred texts known as the Vedas and as such are called the Vedic Faiths. Also, both religions believe in the combination of reincarnation — the cycle of birth-death-rebirth — and Karma, the notion that a person's good and bad deeds will have an effect on their future lives, for better or worse. God The Buddha did not try to explain the existence of a God, gods, or goddesses or document the proper rituals and sacrifices to achieve oneness with God, but he did offer a wealth of specific teachings whose principles encourage a spiritual connection through commitment to self-discipline, meditation, and important moral rules. Origin of the World Here, Buddhism also diverges from traditional Vedic religious beliefs. Buddhists do not believe that there was a "God of creation," but rather that the universe is constantly being created and destroyed as it evolves in time. Afterlife The Vedic Faiths both agree that after multiple rebirths one can reach Enlightenment — a state of being where you do not experience suffering or desire — but this is where their similarities end. Buddhists reject the notion of a social hierarchy, and with it, the idea that good Karma will allow one's soul to be reborn into a higher social position. In addition, they do not believe that there is one permanent soul that moves from one life to the next, but that an individual's character is changing constantly throughout one's life transitions, whether it is a transition from adolescence to early adulthood or a transition from this life to the next. What makes it unique? What sets Buddhism apart from the other religions is the Buddha's teachings that as a group are called the Tripitaka. After he reached Enlightenment, the Buddha taught his revelations in the form of three doctrines. The Four Noble Truths are the core Buddhist lessons and principles: (1) Suffering is real and universal, (2) Suffering is caused by a need for control, (3) Suffering ceases to exist when you reach enlightenment and (4) The Eightfold Path leads to Enlightenment. The Five Precepts are the rules to live by: Do not kill, do not steal, do not lie, do not be immodest, and do not consume drugs. And the Eightfold Path, also called the Middle Path (the path to Enlightenment) is the approach that helps end craving and attachment: (1) Right Understanding, (2) Right Thinking, (3) Right Speech, (4) Right Conduct, (5) Right Livelihood, (6) Right Effort, (7) Right Mindfulness, and (8) Right Concentration. By studying these lessons, a Buddhist may, in time, reach Enlightenment. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Judaism You're 46% compatible with Judaic religious beliefs. It might surprise you to learn that Judaism also has a good amount in common with Islam and Christianity. Here's why: All three religions embrace the Old Testament and trace their roots back to Abraham, which is why they're known as the Abrahamic Faiths. Isn't it interesting how these three share roots (and more!), and they are still constantly in conflict with each other? God Jews believe in the single, all-powerful God of the Abrahamic Faiths, just as the Christians and the Muslims do. Also like their fellow Abrahamic believers, they accept that God has delivered a series of moral codes and laws that will guide them toward living a good and holy life. At some point, they expect God to flush the world of sin and bring peace. They also believe that God entered into a covenant with Abraham, promising to make him and his descendants his "chosen people," in return for their love and obedience. Origin of the World The Abrahamic Faiths also have very similar beliefs about how the world was created. Here's the creation story from the book of Genesis: Long ago, before the Earth existed, there was nothing and all was dark. Then God created Heaven and the Earth in six days. On the first day, God said "Let there be light" and a flash of light drove away the darkness, creating the day and the night. On the second day, God created the beautiful sky. On the third day, God gathered the water together to form oceans, rivers and lakes and covered the land of the Earth with many varieties of plants, including trees and grasses. On the fourth day, God created the sun, the moon, and the stars. On the fifth day, God created many types of fish and birds. On the sixth day, God created all of the rest of the animals on Earth. Then He created the first man and the first woman, named Adam and Eve, in his own image to be the rulers of Earth. On the seventh day, God rested. Afterlife The Abrahamic Faiths believe that after death individual human souls will be judged by God, who will then decide whether they go to Heaven or Hell. Some Jews believe, however, that souls can be reincarnated up to three times, the idea being that you get to learn additional lessons on Earth, and then, after the third lifetime, the souls are judged and sent to either Heaven or Hell. What makes it unique? Judaism differs from both Christianity and Islam in their beliefs about Jesus and the Messiah. Jews do not believe that Jesus was the Son of God, nor do they believe he was a prophet or a Savior sent by God. Some Jews believe that Jesus was a wise teacher of religious ethics. They do not believe that it's necessary to be saved from "original sin," which comes from the Christian belief that all people have inherited the first sin committed by Adam and Eve. Instead, Jews anticipate the coming of the Messiah, who will lead them back to the Promised Land and usher in a period of peace. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spiritualism You're 42% compatible with Spiritualist beliefs. Divine Belief about God widely varies among Spiritualists, but many believe in the almighty God of the Old Testament. For most of the Spiritualists, however, their primary connection to the Divine is through a spiritual medium. Mediums are believed to be highly sensitive psychics who can communicate with the spirit world through séances, trances, and other psychic techniques. Origin of the World Most Spiritualists see the creation story they are most familiar with — that of the Old Testament — as a mythology. They have no official position on the origin of the world. Afterlife Spiritualists believe that death is a transition from existence on a physical plane to the very same on a spiritual plane. Once on a spiritual plane, they believe that even the most sinful people can grow and improve. They also believe that while you're on the physical plane, you can take the knowledge you gain about the spiritual plane to help you better make the transition. This is the main reason mediums contact the spirit world. What makes it unique? What sets the Spiritualists apart from other religions is the deep faith they place in the ability of psychics and mediums to see what lies beyond in the spiritual plane. Many Spiritualists seek to hone their own psychic abilities so they can gather better knowledge. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Islam You're 35% compatible with Islamic beliefs. It might surprise you to learn that Islam also has a good amount in common with Judaism and Christianity. Here's why: All three religions embrace the Old Testament and trace their roots back to Abraham, which is why they're known as the Abrahamic Faiths. Isn't it interesting how these three share roots (and more!), and they are still constantly in conflict with each other? God Muslims believe in the single, all-powerful God of the Abrahamic Faiths, just as the Christians and the Jews do. Also like their fellow Abrahamic believers, they accept that God has delivered a series of moral codes and laws that will guide them toward living a good and holy life. At some point, they expect God to flush the world of sin and bring peace. Islam traces its lineage back to Abraham through Ishmael, the son of Abraham and Hagar. Origin of the World Islam's interpretation of the creation story in the book of Genesis differs somewhat from that of Judaism and Christianity. Instead of believing the world was created in six days, Muslims believe that God created the world in six periods, each of which could have been millions or billions of years long. Read the Genesis story. Afterlife The Abrahamic Faiths believe that after death individual human souls will be judged by God, who will then decide whether they go to Heaven or Hell. What makes it unique? Islam recognizes Muhammad as the last true prophet sent to Earth by God. There are 25 prophets mentioned in the Qur'an (Islam's most well-known sacred text), including Adam, Abraham, Moses, Jesus, and finally, Muhammad. Muslims believe that Jesus was a prophet sent by God but not that he was the Son of God. They believe that when he died on the cross, he ascended to Heaven and was not resurrected. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Christianity You're 28% compatible with Christian beliefs. It might surprise you to learn that Christianity also has a good amount in common with Judaism and Islam. Here's why: All three religions embrace the Old Testament and trace their roots back to Abraham, which is why they're known as the Abrahamic Faiths. Isn't it interesting how these three share roots (and more!), and they are still constantly in conflict with each other? God Christians believe in the single, all-powerful God of the Abrahamic Faiths, just as the Jews and the Muslims do. However, Christians differ on one point; they see God as the Holy Trinity — God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. But like their fellow Abrahamic believers, they accept that God has delivered a series of moral codes and laws that will guide them toward living a good and holy life. At some point, they expect God to flush the world of sin and bring peace. Christianity traces its lineage back to Abraham through Jesus, born the Son of God in the line of David, who was a descendant of Abraham. Origin of the world The Abrahamic Faiths also have very similar beliefs about how the world was created. Here's the creation story from the book of Genesis: Long ago, before the Earth existed, there was nothing and all was dark. Then God created Heaven and the Earth in six days. On the first day, God said "Let there be light" and a flash of light drove away the darkness, creating the day and the night. On the second day, God created the beautiful sky. On the third day, God gathered the water together to form oceans, rivers, and lakes and covered the land of the Earth with many varieties of plants, including trees and grasses. On the fourth day, God created the sun, the moon, and the stars. On the fifth day, God created many types of fish and birds. On the sixth day, God created all of the rest of the animals on Earth. Then He created the first man and the first woman, named Adam and Eve, in his own image to be the rulers of Earth. On the seventh day, God rested. Afterlife The Abrahamic Faiths believe that after death all souls will be judged by God, who will then decide whether they go to Heaven or Hell, but not all Christians believe in Hell as a literal place of suffering in the Afterlife. Some believe that Hell is purely metaphorical — that it represents a state of suffering even here on Earth — and some reject the concept of Hell completely. What makes it unique? There are literally thousands of Christian denominations, which have widely varying beliefs about many things, including the historical validity of the Bible, the existence of Hell, and the Immaculate Conception. However, all Christians believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God who lived on Earth and that he died on the cross to save people from "original sin," which is the concept that all people have inherited the first sin committed by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Your religion report Core religious beliefs and you What's your spiritual style? History behind the test For More Reading Now that you know your compatibility with the world's major religions, you need the next important ingredient, your spiritual style, or the way you like to worship. Put the two together — your beliefs and your style — and you should be able to find the best environment to express your faith. As you've seen, within each of the world's religions there's a lot of variety — from major theoretical differences between branches to more subtle differences in congregations, so it's important to be clear on what you need from a religious community. Based on your test results, Tickle can explain where you stand on three very important spiritual style points: community (group worship or lots of alone-time), openness (level of flexibility), and political point of view (liberal or conservative). How much community do you want in your religious community? You tend to enjoy spending time reflecting on your spiritual beliefs in solitude. This is not to say that you wouldn't be open to joining a loose-knit community of people who are also on a similar spiritual path, you probably just don't need the kind of structure or congregation an organized religion offers. How open do you want your religious community to be? The religious community you become involved with will probably need to be somewhat open and accepting of other religious traditions and beliefs, and it should support your individual pursuit of spiritual truth. You're likely to be put off by the extreme contention that any single religious organization can hold the key to truth and salvation, leaving all who don't believe to suffer for eternity. Make sure you begin your search for the right community by asking the difficult questions such as, "Does this community assume its religion is the only true one?" or "Who does this community believe can ascend to Heaven, Nirvana, or Enlightenment?" If the answers fit your values and beliefs, then you're probably on the right track. Where do you want your religious community to lean politically? You're likely to believe in equality for all people, regardless of race, gender, or sexuality. Because of this core belief, you may want to find a religious community that's active in social and human rights causes. You also tend to believe that people should be allowed to make their own decisions without official church involvement when it comes to matters of individual lifestyle and major life choices. Make these important distinctions when choosing a religious community, so that you're sure to find a congregation that's at least somewhat aligned with your political views. As you consider your spiritual style and the religious community that's right for you, here's some basic information on the world's five major religions. Began Sacred Texts Spiritual Leader Worship Center Believer % World population Judaism c. 2000 BCE The Torah Rabbi or Cantor Synagogue Jew <1% Hinduism c. 1500 BCE The Vedas Priest Temple Hindu 15% Buddhism c. 560 BCE The Tripitaka Bhiksu and Bhikuni Temple Buddhist 6% Christianity c. 30+ CE The Christian Bible Priest, Minister, Monk, or Nun Church Christian 33% Islam c. 622 CE Qur'an Imam Mosque Muslim 22% Your religion report Core religious beliefs and you What's your spiritual style? History behind the test For More Reading To develop Tickle's Religious Compatibility Test, our experts researched the world's major religions to find the 10 with the largest number of believers and the clearest ideologies. The 10 that appear in this report are the top 10 organized religions in the United States, based on the results of the American Religious Identity Survey (ARIS) conducted by the Graduate School of the City University of New York in 2001. The chart below shows the estimated numbers and percentages of Americans that identify as believers in each of the top 10 American religions. Religion Estimated Number of Believers in U.S. Adult Population Percentage of Believers in U.S. Adult Population Christianity 159,030,000 76.50% Judaism 2,831,000 1.30% Islam 1,104,000 0.50% Buddhism 1,082,000 0.50% Hinduism 766,000 0.40% Unitarian Universalism 629,000 0.30% Neo-Paganism 307,000 0.10% Spiritualism 116,000 -- Native American 103,000 -- Baha'i 84,000 -- After selecting the religions, our experts researched each one intensively, drawing distinctions between them and taking note of similarities. A preliminary survey of 3,000 persons with varying religious identities revealed the questions that helped us identify your religious compatibility.

Merritt, your Emotional IQ score is: 144 The above chart shows where you fall on the Emotional IQ scale compared to others. You scored higher than 99.8% of other test takers. Your Emotional IQ measures how well your emotions guide you towards smart decisions. In fact, increasingly, researchers are pointing to Emotional IQs as better indicators of overall success in life than traditional IQ tests alone. Healthy relationships and flourishing careers are impossible without interacting successfully with others. Even someone who possesses a genius Intellectual Quotient (IQ) can miss out on the wisdom that comes from understanding another human being. What makes Tickle's Emotional IQ test more comprehensive than others, is that we structured the test to actually isolate different interpersonal skills and how well you use them to your benefit. As such, each of your scores on the 4 emotional intelligence dimensions, Perception, Expression, Empathy, and Emotional Management, are independent of one another, despite the fact that only in combination do they yield your true EIQ. That also means that you can score high on all dimensions, low on all dimensions, and any permutation in between. There are plenty of reasons to understand where your strengths and weakness lie. In so doing, you can play to your strengths and work on improving your skills on all the dimensions. As we noted in your initial results, your emotional strength, or the dimension on which you scored the highest is Emotional Management. For an in-depth look at those dimensions, read on about your Emotional IQ profile. Perception Expression Empathy Emotional Management 1 5 10 The psychological community agrees that the dimensions portrayed in the above chart are the cornerstone of your Emotional IQ. Here's what they mean in this context. Perception Your perception score measures your ability to perceive other people's emotions. It also indicates your innate ability to recognize other people's emotions through nonverbal communication channels. In other words, it gauges how well you pick up on the things people aren't saying. And that's a powerful skill because nonverbal communications — body language, facial expressions, touch, tone, and appearance — often convey a person's true feelings. In fact, some researchers estimate that 93% of all communication is nonverbal. The higher your score, the stronger your edge on the competition. Expression Your expression score measures the extent to which you allow yourself to feel and to express your own emotions. It gauges how comfortable you are in expressing the full range of emotions — both positive and negative. Being able to express a range of emotions implies that you understand the difference between what you really feel as opposed to acting in the manner you think you are supposed to feel. When you get better at expressing emotions, you also accept those emotions as valid — and valuable — in making decisions. Empathy Your empathy score represents your ability to understand and appreciate other people's points of view. Experts agree that your ability to see things from perspectives different from your own will make you a better communicator and, in general, a more perceptive individual. It also indicates how much benefit of the doubt you are likely to give people and how much leeway you give them before you form conclusions about them, their ideas, or their motives. Emotional Management Your emotional management score reflects how much you let your emotions affect the world around you. It measures how good you are at understanding your emotions and acting upon them. Emotional management also gauges whether you let your emotions drive your actions or whether you tend to contain them and base your actions on things more objective than your emotions. Now that you better understand the dimensions that make up your Emotional IQ, we can take a look at your individual scores. Remember, like everything in life, you can always improve your rating on these dimensions. In fact, Tickle's test is designed to help you do just that so you can more easily get what you want in your life. The perception scale Perception 1 5 10 You scored 10 out of 10 on the perception scale. That means you are highly skilled at picking up on non-verbal cues. You're very sensitive to subtleties of people's actions and gestures, and can feel out the "vibe" of a situation more readily than most people. In short, it's hard to slip anything past you. For example, if you noticed someone glancing at their watch during a conversation, chances are you'd be aware of the various signals this action is sending. Are they anxious to end the conversation or are they just checking the time? From there, you would be able to read other signs — perhaps their tone of voice is clipped or their attention is diverted — to get a clear idea of what they are thinking. "Getting the hint" is definitely one of your talents. But being so clued into actions around you can also throw you off at times. While you are sensitive to non-verbal cues, that doesn't mean that your interpretation of the cues are always correct. Perhaps your friend with the watch is simply checking the time, after all. Sometimes people's motives for their behavior are complex and will be inaccessible to you, no matter how closely you pay attention to things. You need to make sure you're not just picking out non-verbals that confirm your expectations. If you're going to read into the cues, you have to take in all the cues, not just the ones you're looking for. You won't be doing anyone any favors if you disregard actions that might contradict what you expect from a situation. Another thing you may need to keep in mind: Not everyone is a non-verbal, mind reader. Even if you think the subtle cues you send should be enough to make your point, you need to remember that others need verbal confirmation. Many people just aren't as perceptive as you. The gift of perception is most useful when it's understood that real communication can only be achieved only when both perceiver and messenger are conveying and comprehending messages with their true intent. The skill of perception is one that can always be improved no matter how adept you may already be. One way to become better at decoding people's emotions is to watch yourself express emotions in the mirror. This helps you systematically distinguish different facial expressions. Take a look in the mirror and try to imagine how you would expressively react to the following scenarios. Think about the facial expression, tone of voice, and body language. Surprise — Think about walking into a surprise party in your honor Disgust — Smelling milk that has gone bad Fear — Think about hearing an unusual noise in the middle of the night Sadness — Think about a tragic death you've heard about on the news Anger — Think about being rudely treated by a clerk or waiter Happiness — Think about receiving praise and a raise at work Mild Irritation — Think about listening to your friend brag for the twelfth time about the raise they just got when you didn't get one Once you've practiced these different emotions, take note of how easy or difficult they were to convey. What are the chances you would've been able to pick up these signals in others? Once these scenarios become easy for you to express, incorporate more difficult ones that are a mixture of different emotions. Keep in mind that a good game of charades is helpful for this, as well. The expression scale Expression 1 5 10 You scored 9 out of 10 on the expression scale. You are very comfortable expressing your emotions. Sometimes people mistake having emotions with experiencing only the negative ones. Not you. You look forward to authentically experiencing emotions in their full range. Whether calm or intense, positive or negative, you are good at taking emotions in and processing them. Furthermore, you are in tune with both your conscious and unconscious feelings as to why you might be feeling a particular way. You have learned how to effectively rely on your gut instincts, and more importantly, you have learned not to diminish the importance of emotions in your life. For example, if you'd been working for a promotion at work you might have been confiding in a close co-worker about wanting a certain position. Then, a couple days later you might learn the position you'd wanted has been given to your co-worker! Although rationally you understand she wasn't vying for the position behind your back and it was a matter of circumstance that she got the position over you, you still feel disappointment and anger. Chances are, because you are someone who is comfortable expressing emotions, you would not hide your disappointment simply because it's not "rational." Instead, you realize this is a situation that needs to be addressed between the two of you. You know that ignoring this touchy situation could breed resentment further down the road. Simply put, you have a need to clear the air. Whether you do this effectively or sensitively is another story, but the point is you do not waste energy protecting yourself from what you feel. Myth 1: Emotions are more primitive than reason. Emotions originate in the brain just like reason, even though you might feel them in your heart or in your gut. They are equally valid when making decisions, the key to making informed decisions it to consult both sides of your brain. Myth 2: Clamping down on your emotions is a sign of strength. Unfortunately, too many people mistakenly believe that being able to turn off their emotions makes them powerful. Conversely, some people think that feeling and emotion gives you permission to act upon it. The key to managing your emotions is to strike the right balance. You must first allow yourself to feel your raw emotions, then you must temper them with the rational side of your brain. You're so angry you want to punch someone? Then let yourself feel that emotion, just stop short of acting on it and make those emotions available to your rational side to balance out. Myth 3: Some emotions are bad to feel. All emotions are informative. Just because our emotions sometimes put us in an unpleasant state does not mean they should be avoided. Our emotions can tell us when there is something in our environment that needs fixing. Myth 4: The best judgments are ones made without emotion. Our society has valued the rational parts of our brain to the detriment of the emotional parts. Think about how many violent acts are committed because people don't know how to effectively deal with their emotions and instead simply snap. To achieve true harmony within ourselves, both sides of the brain need to be acknowledged and attended to. People who believe in the above emotional myths cling to those legends to justify living their lives numbly. Any expert will tell you, however, that numbing yourself to reality will only lead to exhaustion and unhappiness. Exhaustion will take hold because it takes a lot of energy to suppress your feelings. Unhappiness will set in because people who are unwilling to experience the lows of life are also cheating themselves out of experiencing the true highs. You were born with the same gut instincts that have aided our species through years of evolutionary change and survival. Digging deep within yourself to rediscover your intuition requires that you believe that you do have an unconscious capable of acting without the aid of rational thinking. Exploring how you feel can be scary, but it ultimately proves to be an empowering experience. After all, passionate feelings fuel your thoughts, your ambitions, your desires, and ultimately provides meaning in your life. Try keeping this in mind the next time you're unsure about what you're feeling. Chances are the answer is right there inside you — it might just simply be a case of learning how to listen to yourself. The first step is giving credence to any thought that arises. Remember that just because you're having a thought, doesn't mean you have to act on it. Just acknowledge that it's there. You'd be surprised how such a simple act can sometimes point you in the right direction. The empathy scale Empathy 1 5 10 You scored a 10 out of 10 on the empathy scale. You respond to others with your heart and soul. People sense your genuineness and commitment to being a compassionate person. You are able to not only observe other people's situations, but also understand the importance of empathizing instead of criticizing. You are not one to put down others simply to boost your own self-esteem, and that's because you're good at putting yourself in other people's shoes. You are astute enough to know that sometimes you won't have all the information about another person you need to make a fair judgment of them or their actions. You acknowledge that you don't know their background, their personal or financial situation, or another key element that might be driving them to do something a certain way. You wisely realize this, and therefore can look at people in a forgiving light — at least until you're able to process all the information you need to make an educated and fair assessment of the situation. You also realize that you, too, might come under scrutiny by other people and will want them to think about the true motivations behind your actions and realize that circumstances may drive you to act differently than you normally would. You also have a capacity to understand actions you yourself don't condone or agree with. It is your ability to see many sides of an issue that allows you to do so. All of us need people in our lives who honor our individuality and imperfections. You are a compassionate person who understands that the world is enriched by the presence of imperfect and quirky people. You are generous in giving them the space they need to be themselves — and hopefully this allows you to be yourself, as well. Steer clear of people who do not extend the same support as you do. You may frequently encounter people who latch on to you because they can sense how emotionally supportive you are. Ask yourself: Are they doing the same for you? Of course, they may not have the same level of emotional intelligence in this area as you do. But they should be able to fulfill some of your needs. If you find yourself drained by others, it is time to reevaluate some of your relationships. Simply let people in your life know what you need. Asking people to support you in specific ways is not asking too much, nor is it unfair. You are allowing them a chance to be there for you in meaningful ways. People like to feel needed, so you are doing a favor for friends who genuinely enjoy having a mutually satisfying relationship. As for those who do not appreciate your candor, you may need to establish new boundaries for what you can expect out of them, as well as what they should expect of you. The emotional management scale Emotional Management 1 5 10 You scored a 10 out of 10 the emotional management scale. You recognize that feeling emotions and acting upon them are two separate things. Whether you believe that emotions and moods need to be experienced as they occur, or that they should be channeled into something positive, you are in charge of how your emotions will impact your life. Experts say that the ideally, emotions should guide, not dictate, our own behavior. Emotions are extremely visceral and as such, can hijack our sense of logic and reason. But people with high emotional management scores like you understand this phenomenon, and know how to make decisions independent of the emotions they are experiencing at a given time. This skill in and of itself puts you well ahead of many. The ability to make more objective decisions will likely take you far. Managing your emotions and psychologically taking care of yourself are critical life skills. You are aware that although you may not be able to control the type of emotion you experience or when you experience it, you do have control over its duration and the extent to which it controls your behavior. This is not to say, however, that emotions never contribute to your decisions. At times the emotions you are having are appropriate guides for your actions. And with your keen sense of emotional management, you'll know when and where to base decisions upon them. Although it is a natural and useful emotion, anger can get out of control. Anger that gets out of control or that turns into rage needs to be kept in check. Most people want to act out aggressively when they get angry. Unfortunately, behaving aggressively can lead to violence and unintentional disastrous consequences for everyone. Experiencing anger can be seductive because it feels so powerful. However, you need to ask yourself: Who is in charge here — you or your emotions? The power that you are feeling is most likely one that you have no control over. Being truly powerful is to dictate how you will confront the situation that is angering you so that you can achieve a peaceful resolution. The important thing is to not let your anger lead to more harm for yourself and others. Here are a few anger management techniques for you to think about. Breathe deeply. Simply allowing your body to relax will help its physiological recovery. When you are feeling out of control, step away from the situation. Give yourself time to regain your composure so that you won't say or do anything that you will later regret. Stop thinking too much! Overanalyzing usually leads to a downward spiral in which you start to recall additional real and imagined reasons for why you should be so angry. This only magnifies and distorts our perception of reality in ugly and harmful ways. Instead of getting defensive, get empathic. If you are in an argument with someone, try to take their position and see if you can relate to their perspective. You may not agree with them, but perspective taking should at least get you calm enough to understand what their motives are. When reading the answers below, it's important to keep in mind that Tickle is providing you with the "best" answer and its rationale. Beyond the "best" answer, there are also other responses that may indicate a certain degree of emotional intelligence. In a few cases, multiple answers are listed as correct. = your answer = best answer 1. Which emotion do you think the woman below is experiencing? Boredom Pride Happiness Surprise Fear Excitement Research on emotional expressions has found that expressions of genuine happiness consist of a combination of smiling, (as indicated by upturned mouth) and a crinkling at the corners of the eyes. Experts say that an upturned mouth without any change around the eye area could be an expression of faked pleasure. 2. Which emotion do you think the man below is experiencing? Sadness Anger Happiness Anxiety Disgust Grief Notice how the skin around his eyes is tightened and his eyebrows are lowered and drawn together? The subject's eyes are narrowed and his eyes are bulged out. The skin around his cheeks also looks raised because he is baring his teeth. These are all non-verbal cues that convey anger, according to experts. 3. Which emotion do you think the boy below is experiencing? Fear Rage Elation Shame Disgust Surprise Here, his expression is one of surprise. His eyebrows are raised so that the eyes appear larger than they normally do as his forehead wrinkles. Look at how his eyes are open wider than usual by the raising of the upper eyelid and the lowering of the bottom eyelids. His open mouth also indicates the feeling of surprise, experts agree. 4. Which emotion do you think the man below is experiencing? Dejection Irritation Fear Surprise Disgust Happiness The expression of fear most closely resembles the expression of surprise. In both, the eyes are widened and the eyebrows are raised. But the brows here are drawn together to produce wrinkles in the forehead. The main difference in the emotional display of surprise and fear is in the mouth region. In expressions of fear, the edges of the mouth are tense and turned downward as seen here. 5. Which emotion do you think the woman below is experiencing? Sadness Rage Hostility Shame Disgust Surprise The most distinguishing feature of disgust is the wrinkling of the nose. In conjunction with the nose wrinkle, the cheeks are raised and the eyebrows are lowered, making the eyes look smaller. Typically, the upper lip is raised as well. The overall countenance conveys a sense of disgust. 6. Which emotion do you think the woman below is experiencing? Sadness Embarrassment Rage Surprise Disgust Fear Typically, when someone is sad, as the woman in the below photo, muscles in the eye region contract so that our eyebrows are furrowed in such a way that the inside corners are turned upwards. The upper eyelid corner is raised as well. The jaw muscles are slacked so that the face appears longer, and the lips and mouth region are turned downwards into a frown. 7. Concealed irritation or genuine warmth? Concealed Irritation Genuine warmth At first glance it may appear that this woman is genuinely smiling. But looking closer, notice how her teeth are gritted and her lips are slightly pursed around the corners and tightened down over her front teeth. Also, the muscles around the eyes are not contracted so there is no crinkling around the eyes to correspond with the smiling mouth. A legitimate smile from this woman would show her lips relaxing from the top of her front teeth, her smile moving more into a crescent shape and her eyes narrowing with crinkles in the corner. 8. What does this man's body language convey? Excitement and happiness Helplessness and uncertainty Smugness and confidence Anger, but with resolve The shoulder shrug display tends to denote helplessness and uncertainty. The combination of slumped shoulders and the opening of the arms with upturned palms is a submissive gesture. 9. What is this woman thinking? I really enjoy his stories He is so funny Whoa, his is standing way too close to me He's holding me up for my next meeting This illustration depicts a woman's negative reaction to her personal space being violated by the man she's talking to. Notice how her shoulders are stiffened and her back is slightly arched. She is politely trying to re-establish her personal space without taking a step back from him. Also, the expression on her face indicates that she is slightly tense, as does her grip on her coffee cup. 10. The woman in this meeting is thinking: I can't wait to tell her what a stupid idea this is I don't agree, but I'm not going to say anything out loud I wish I had that idea. Why can't I think of the good ones? This talk is so informative — but I don't want to give her credit for it "Lint picking" behavior is often used when someone is attempting to displace their feelings onto something besides what is causing them discomfort. In this case, the woman may disapprove of what her colleague is explaining, or may simply just be disengaged but not feel like she can express her true feelings. Hence her turning her attention to fidgeting with her clothes. While she may verbally agree with her colleague, averting her gaze and focusing on minor behaviors are attempts to conceal her feelings from others. 11. The man in the audience is attending a seminar. What is he thinking? I totally disagree with this speaker I really like what this guy has to say This is boring That is the saddest story I've ever heard The standard arms-crossed gesture combined with a neutral or somewhat negative expression denotes the person is not receptive to comments or ideas. It could be the case that you have said something that they do not agree with. When you are interacting with someone and see this gesture, your aim should be to find out what has caused them to not be receptive to your ideas. 12. What is this gesture signaling? Hostility Openness Frustration Excitement Arms spread wide convey that he is open and receptive. Fully exposed and upturned palms symbolize submissiveness. Overall, this person is displaying a non-threatening attitude. In this section, there are no "right" or "wrong" answers, but certain behaviors are associated with more advanced people skills. Below, the answers are presented in order from most emotionally intelligent (a) to least emotionally intelligent. = most emotionally intelligent = least emotionally intelligent 13. I know when I'm feeling bad, but most of the time I can't really tell why I feel that way. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 14. I get annoyed at myself when I cry. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 15. I cringe when I see someone extremely emotional — whether it's happy, sad, angry, excited, etc. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 16. I'm proud of myself when I put on a straight face even when I'm distrssed. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 17. When I feel strong emotions well up, my first instinct is to control them. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 18. I usually wait until someone else tells me that they like or love me before I tell them so. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 19. I've been known to laugh until my stomach hurts. Very much describes me Somewhat describes me Somewhat unlike me Not like me at all 20. I keep a journal or diary to express my thoughts or feelings. Very much describes me Somewhat describes me Somewhat unlike me Not like me at all 21. Sometimes it feels like my emotions come out of nowhere and I don't know why I am feeling a certain way. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 22. When I'm undecided about something, I like to rely more on my heart than my head. Very much describes me Somewhat describes me Somewhat unlike me Not like me at all 23. I enjoy listening to music or watching movies to experience emotions that regular life does not offer. Very much describes me Somewhat describes me Somewhat unlike me Not like me at all 24. When someone has done a good job, I pay a genuine compliment. Very much describes me Somewhat describes me Somewhat unlike me Not like me at all 25. It's better to get things out in the open as you're feeling them than to keep your feelings inside. Very much describes me Somewhat describes me Somewhat unlike me Not like me at all 26. Expressing emotions is a sign of weakness. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 27. I usually tell people what I ______ about something. Feel Think In this next section, we measured the extent to which your responses were sensitive, understanding of someone else's viewpoint, and socially appropriate. Even though we provide information on the best answer below, the other responses do vary in degree of social responsiveness. = your answer = best answer 28. For months, you and your friends have been planning a weekend in Las Vegas. One friend calls at the last minute to say she can't come because she has to work over the weekend. What would you say to her? I'd ask her what she was working on to see if she's telling the truth I'd try to convince her to put in more hours next week I'd tell her that I wish she could come, but that I understand I'd remind her how much effort it took to plan this and that she can't back out now Let your friend understand that while you are disappointed, you can relate to their reasons for not coming. After all, your friend may also feel bad for not being able to come — no reason to rub it in. 29. Your colleague at work has just been promoted to manager. The other day she snapped at you for something minor. You think to yourself: This new position has brought out her true nature She's just anxious about her new responsibilities Here, you have the opportunity to blame the situation or the colleague. It takes greater effort and sensitivity to comprehend that sometimes situations produce behavior that we don't understand or agree with. 30. Your friend just started dating someone new, leaving you with unanswered messages and Friday nights spent alone. You think: That's what happens in the beginning of a new relationship My friend is being disloyal It's time for me to find new people to hang out with I should tell her that she needs to change her behavior if she wants to keep me as a friend I need to have a discussion with her about her take on our friendship Forgiving your friend for being caught up in a new situation shows that you are a flexible and generous friend. This question has two good answers however. Another good alternative is to sit down with your friend and ask them what they think, so long as you do not put them on the defensive. The other answers vary in their degree of empathy. 31. When a homeless person approaches you for money, you: Say sorry and walk quickly by with your head down Give a sour look — that person needs to get a job Ignore the person completely Give food instead of money Give some money Smile sympathetically and wish the person good luck While each of us have our own social political views, how we respond to an individual in need of help reflects our degree of empathy. Each of the responses listed varies in their degree of empathy. The first and the last choices are somewhat empathic and the second response is the least empathic. 32. One of your friends decides to stay with his girlfriend even though she's been less than faithful. You think: That's stupid. I hope I am never that desperate I wish he had more self-respect What a hard decision that must have been None of my business — they have to live with each other With this response, you are putting yourself in the other person's perspective even if you do not necessarily agree with their decision. 33. You bring a friend to dinner at Uncle Ralph's. Uncle Ralph accidentally makes an offensive remark about your friend's culture. After leaving his house, you: Say nothing to your friend about the incident Make fun of your uncle with your friend Ask your friend if they took offense and explain your uncle's mistake Put a new spin on the remark and try to make it sound like a compliment With this response, you are being most sensitive to both parties and treat neither insensitively. 34. Your colleague, Jack, has overheard you and your co-workers making plans to go out after work. You debate inviting Jack, but know he is awkward in social situations. Ultimately, you decide to: Encourage him to come along — maybe he'll loosen up with more practice Ignore him, because you can't have as good of a time if he comes along Unenthusiastically invite him and tell him that it might not be his type of thing Pretend you don't see him and keep your head down as you leave Although you may not have wanted to invite this person, you understand how terrible it might feel to be so blatantly rejected. Thus, you put this person's needs above your own in this situation. 35. You've cooked a roast for a family dinner and your new brother-in-law announces that he does not eat meat. Your reaction is: To offer him more salad and look for something else he can eat To be slightly annoyed, but to put the potatoes aside for him To become upset that he had to make such a big deal out of it To encourage him to try some anyway since one day of eating meat won't kill him Your brother-in-law might feel nervous about making this announcement and instead of indulging in your own feelings, answer A shows that you'd be taking care of his. Although it is not always better to put other people's feelings above your own, you have to ask yourself: who is more uncomfortable and who has more to lose in this situation? By acknowledging and behaving in such a way, you're showing you understand this is a bigger deal for them. This section of the test assessed your ability to perceive emotions and non-verbal expressions correctly in others. Below are the correct responses and the answer key for each question in the perceiving index. = your answer = best answer 36. You are on a plane watching the latest Steven Segal movie. Suddenly, the plane begins rocking violently with turbulence. What do you do? I'd continue watching the movie — it's Steven Segal I'd hit the call button and ask the flight attendant what's going on I'd stop watching the movie and keep on alert to hear if the captain has anything to say This response demonstrates that you are aware of being in a potentially stressful situation. Instead of overreacting or denying your feelings, you are in a wait-and-see mode, showing that you are trying to manage your emotions sensibly. 37. When I'm having a rough week at work or at school, I: Distract myself with shopping or other hobbies Talk to someone about it Watch TV or listen to music Take some time by myself to explore what's really bothering me Both of these responses involve recognizing your emotions and attempting to treat your stress in ways that alleviate it without numbing yourself or denying your emotions. 38. At work, a colleague takes credit for one your great ideas in front of the boss. What's your reaction? You talk to your colleague in private and find out what happened You immediately correct your colleague saying that it was really your idea You fume, but say nothing You forget about it— there's nothing you can do about it now In this situation, not confronting your colleague immediately in front of the boss shows restraint and class. Although you may feel like saying something, you know that you may produce potentially unnecessary conflict. Asking your colleague in private about the matter is giving this person the benefit of the doubt. If a sincere mistake was made, then you are giving them a chance to explain themselves and rectify the situation for you. 39. You and a friend have vowed to lose your winter guts with a new exercise program. You notice that your friend has dropped weight faster than you. You react by: Telling them that they look great and to keep it up Reminding them that slower weight loss is easier to keep off Giving them a batch of their favorite brownies they can't resist Being a bit crabby despite your best intentions Telling them that they look scrawny It is hard to feel like you are not doing as well as someone else when you are trying your best. However, recognizing that all of us feel emotions that we are not proud of, but don't necessarily need to act on is a sign of emotional maturity. 40. It's your first day as a telemarketer and your job is to get people to switch to your long distance company. The first twenty calls result in hang-ups and rude responses. What do you do? Quit. That's enough information to know that it's not going to work Start fresh and take a different approach for the next few calls Just keep plugging away through the rest of the day Get down on myself for messing up again Everyone experiences failure. Redefining setbacks as "challenges" and trying new approaches demonstrates that you are not deterred from your goals because of your frustrations. The best method for finding success is usually trial and error. 41. Friend A asks you to set up a date with Friend B. The two friends go out for a short period of time and then Friend A cheats on Friend B. Now, Friend B is devastated and confused. What do you do? Reprimand Friend A for what they've done Tell Friend B something negative about Friend A to make them feel better Feel bad because had you never set them up, this would've never happened Listen to both sides but try to stay out of it as much as possible Stop talking to Friend A and vow to never do set-ups again The third answer, listen to both sides, is best. This is one of those sticky situations in which there is no easy answer, and your response requires that you exercise discretion and try to balance your feelings. Some of the other responses require that you "betray" one friend for the other. By focusing on understanding rather than blame, you can keep things in balanced perspective even though you may have strong feelings about it. 42. You finally get the nerve to ask your new single neighbor over for dinner. In the midst of conversation, a piece of lettuce flies out of your mouth and lands on your glass. How do you react? You're embarrassed and apologize profusely for being so gross You laugh at yourself and turn it into a joke You pretend not to notice, hoping that your date doesn't either Sure, nobody wants this to happen to them. But hey, it happens. Learning to laugh at yourself is the key to self-acceptance. 43. You are in an argument with your significant other and begin to feel like your partner is accusing you of things that you have not done. You react by: Throwing equally unfair accusations back at them Leaving the room without saying a word Proving a step-by-step breakdown of why your partner is wrong Telling your partner that you both need a time out and can discuss it later Apologizing just to end the argument Pointing out all the negative things that they've done too When two people are angry, it is best to find ways to resolve the conflict without escalating the situation or avoiding the conflict entirely. Giving both of you time to cool down and then discuss things calmly is the most effective way to solve the problem in the long term. 44. When your life gets incredibly stressful, what do you do? I carve out some time for myself and do something I like I wait for the situation to change on its own I work harder because I don't have time to indulge in other activities I vent my frustrations to close friends I find ways to reduce my obligations We sometimes forget that our mental health needs taking care of just as much as our physical health does. It is important to acknowledge that we are not superhuman and sometimes need to take drastic actions to make our lives manageable. When the sources of stress are ones that you can reduce, then cutting down the amount of obligations you have is the best long-term solution to leading a manageable lifestyle. If your sources of stress are unchangeable, simply finding time for yourself is your best bet. The other answer alternatives denote feelings of helplessness and resignation without trying to really take care of yourself. 45. You've just found out that your landlord has sold your place. He says you'll have to move out in a week. How would you respond? I'd wait until I calmed down and then call him back I'd immediately call him and demand an explanation I'd go over to his home and have a face-to-face "chat" I'd immediately start packing. I have a lot to do This situation would be highly stressful for anyone. In fact, most of us would be very angry and have a few choice words to say to our landlord. However, if you were being truly strategic, you would learn as much as you could about the situation and see if you could still get your way.

Merritt, you're 60% Feminine That means you're 40% masculine. When we compare your results with other men it shows that you are somewhat more feminine than average. What does it mean for a man to be feminine? Femininity in Western culture involves approaching life in a happy, optimistic way as well as showing warmth and compassion to others. But femininity is more than just being cheerful and caring. The chart above shows your overall percentages of masculine versus feminine qualities. Whether you have a greater proportion of one or the other, or whether you have roughly equal masculine and feminine qualities, this balance of qualities says something about the type of gender identity that you possess. In this report you'll learn more about your own gender identity, and what qualities were used to determine how masculine and feminine you are. You'll learn how you scored on each of the 12 dimensions that comprise your masculinity and femininity scores, and how your scores compare to men and women in general. Based on your particular gender identity, we'll help you understand how to more successfully communicate with others. So what's the difference between sex and gender? In psychological terms, sex refers to our biological categories of male and female while gender refers to the socially constructed ideas and beliefs about how men and women "should" behave. Masculinity can be defined broadly as the behavior society expects from males, and how a "true man" should think, feel, and act. Likewise, femininity can be defined as the behavior society expects from females, and how a "true woman" should think, feel, and act. A person's gender identity is the extent to which he/she takes on or possesses the qualities and behaviors of each gender as defined by popular culture. This is not to say that females don't possess typical male qualities and vice-versa. In fact, that's what this test is about! Overall, everyone has some of the qualities we will cover below; it's just the extent to which people possess them that varies. It's also important to keep in mind that much has changed in Western culture in the last three decades, and men and women are playing roles and developing behaviors that were not necessarily open to them in the past. Are You More Masculine or Feminine? Gender Balance & Identity Types What Makes You Masculine or Feminine? What Traditional Masculine Qualities Do You Possess? What Traditional Feminine Qualities Do You Possess? Gender Specific Communication The History Behind the Test For More Reading It is not uncommon for men to have higher masculine scores than feminine and for women to have higher feminine scores than masculine, but there are also many people whose masculine and feminine qualities are roughly equal to one another. When a person's masculine and feminine qualities are balanced they either have high levels or low levels of both. Each configuration has its own strengths and weaknesses. Your test results indicate that you're Androgynous. The four possible gender types: Highly Masculine: People who are highly masculine tend to be very action and/or results oriented in the world, but may not be extremely emotionally expressive. Men who are highly masculine often encounter a good deal of social approval, but may have a low degree of role differentiation. In other words, highly masculine men often find their sense of self strongly tied to what they do. The potential down side of this is that if a highly masculine man is having major difficulties related to work, there aren't many other roles in his life that can provide the same sense of satisfaction and boost to his self-esteem. Women who are highly masculine may be very accomplished or successful in career domains but may encounter some social disapproval for not demonstrating enough traditional feminine qualities. Masculine typed women may also encounter the same difficulties as very masculine men of having their sense of self tied primarily to action-oriented areas of life such as work. Highly Feminine: People who are highly feminine tend to be very relationship or people oriented, but may not be extremely results focused. Women who are highly feminine typically encounter strong social approval, but in some settings highly feminine women may have difficulty commanding authority or being taken seriously. Highly feminine women tend to invest their sense of self in their various relationship roles (e.g., daughter, friend, wife, mother, co-worker). If one of these roles is causing significant stress or difficulty, feminine women can usually draw support from other established relationships and roles to maintain a positive sense of self. Men who are highly feminine often have very strong interpersonal skills, but may encounter some social disapproval for not exhibiting enough traditionally masculine qualities. Feminine typed men also often benefit from having a variety of relationship roles in their lives just as very feminine women do, and can usually maintain a positive sense of self in the face of life difficulties or challenges. Androgynous: People who are androgynous have both strong masculine and strong feminine qualities. Androgynous people tend to be both action and people oriented, and are usually able to successfully take on a diverse range of roles that cross gender-role boundaries. Sex-role Transcendent: People who are sex-role transcendent have both low masculine and low feminine qualities indicating that gender is not a category that is critical to their sense of self. In other words, sex-role transcendent people develop and maintain their sense of self through roles that are not tied to gender stereotypes. Are You More Masculine or Feminine? Gender Balance & Identity Types What Makes You Masculine or Feminine? What Traditional Masculine Qualities Do You Possess? What Traditional Feminine Qualities Do You Possess? Gender Specific Communication The History Behind the Test For More Reading Tickle has conducted several studies combining the classic psychological approach to gender identity and our own independent research to measure your masculinity and femininity. Here are the traditional qualities of masculinity and femininity: Masculine: Feminine: Sports Fan Cheerful Decisive Compassionate Leadership Gentle Aggression Understanding Analytical Timid Principled Individualist Trusting In addition to these major areas, there are several significant, but less central qualities that comprise the traditional definition of masculinity and femininity. These include things such as: Masculine: Feminine: Focus on action, moving forward and just doing it. Focus on calm, relaxed interpersonal interactions. When it comes to personal safety, attack, defend, and run only if necessary. When it comes to personal safety, run, defend, and attack only as a last resort. Ability to use maps and find the way. Ability to seek help when needed. Creative interests in the direction of building structures. Creative interests in the direction of artistic endeavors. A tendency to mind one's own business. A tendency to get involved in others problems. Smiling almost exclusively as an expression of emotion. Smiling as an integral part of day-to-day interaction, regardless of personal emotion. Highly circumscribed physicality among friends. Shaking hands is manly; hugs are not. High degree of latitude for physically expressing affection to friends. Hugs or kisses are okay, but a handshake is unusual. Furthermore, Tickle's research shows that certain behavioral stereotypes still hold true when it comes to masculinity and femininity. In fact, when considering all of the other aspects that go into a person's gender identification, these stereotypes still stand out as indicators of femininity and masculinity. Highly feminine people are significantly more likely to say that they like the color pink and that they wear lipstick than are people who are masculine. Highly masculine people are much more likely than those who are feminine to say that sex on the first date is okay and that they lift weights. While society's expectations about the roles that men and women can play has certainly changed in the past several decades, our notions of what is truly masculine and what is truly feminine remains somewhat tied to very traditional beliefs. Masculinity is related to being strong, virile, and powerful, while femininity is related to being soft, attractive, and warm. Are You More Masculine or Feminine? Gender Balance & Identity Types What Makes You Masculine or Feminine? What Traditional Masculine Qualities Do You Possess? What Traditional Feminine Qualities Do You Possess? Gender Specific Communication The History Behind the Test For More Reading In this section, you'll learn how you scored on six major characteristics that comprise a traditional view of masculinity. Each of your scores is plotted in the chart below, alongside the average scores for women and men. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sports Fan A key component of masculinity is about being physically active. More than that, highly masculine people are drawn to sports. While a feminine person might do aerobics, a masculine person plays individual or team sports. Within this aspect of masculinity are the qualities of both physical prowess and competitiveness. The attraction of watching, playing, and winning at sports is a uniquely masculine quality. You scored relatively high in the area of liking sports compared to other people. You place importance on putting your body through its paces and may particularly relish competition. When making choices about how you spend your time you tend to opt for activity over inactivity, although watching sports may also be enjoyable to you. You may have one or two favorite sports, or you may like a wide variety of sports, but one way or another, you definitely like getting into the game. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Decisive Making decisions quickly and easily is a traditionally masculine quality. This dimension is associated with a certain boldness, responsibility and clarity of purpose. There's no wishy-washiness, dithering, or second-guessing. When a decision is needed, whether it's easy or difficult, stepping up and making it is the masculine approach. You probably have no trouble making decisions. You're someone who almost always has your wits about you. You are generally capable of dealing with difficult, high-pressure situations and handling the consequences of your actions. In fact, you may even seek out roles and situations that demand your sharp decision-making skills. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Leader Ever heard the phrase "alpha male?" A desire to be the top dog, the big cheese, or the head honcho is another important aspect of masculinity. This traditional quality of masculinity involves not only being in charge, but also a sense of determination, a desire to distinguish one's self, and to be successful. You seem to have moderately strong leadership abilities. You're not driven to always be in charge, although you could probably handle a position of power if it came your way. You're interested in success, but it's not the only thing you value. It's most likely that while you may find yourself in leadership positions, you don't tend to actively pursue them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Aggressive Although masculinity is a psychosocial construct, describing what a given society considers to be appropriate behavior for males, there is at least one aspect of it with clear ties to biology, and that is aggression. Biologically speaking males have higher levels of testosterone than females. High levels of testosterone are related to aggressive behavior. Does that mean that all men are aggressive and that women are not aggressive? No. It means that, in general, males are more likely to exhibit aggressive behavior than females and because of that the societal definition of masculinity has developed to include aggression. More specifically, a tendency to react to conflict with hostility and even violence is highly masculine. You tend to be fairly low in aggressiveness. When provoked you are not likely to respond with any kind of violence. You'd much rather resolve an explosive situation by talking it out or simply by walking away. It probably takes a lot to make you really angry. You don't tend to initiate conflict, nor do you tend to escalate a conflict when one arises. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Analytical The analytical aspect of masculinity is characterized by logic and reason. It involves a love of complex thinking and a desire to find the root cause of almost any problem. In contrast to the sports playing quality of masculinity, the analytical quality is all about the mental game. You are highly analytical. Complex thinking and problem solving are activities in which you are likely to engage regularly. You tend to enjoy stretching your mental muscles. When someone asks you an explanatory question, such as "How does that work?" you may be prone to give a more detailed answer than necessary. You are generally drawn to roles and situations in which you can exercise your strong analytical skills. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Principled Individualist The principled individualist component of masculinity is reminiscent of the American cowboy. This is a quality or set of qualities about being one of a kind, and not just another face in the crowd. It's also about living by a certain code of honor, and standing up for what you believe in. You are unique. You probably feel that you are very much your own person with a strong sense of self, and that there is no one quite like you. You are likely to have a clear sense of right and wrong, and seek to conduct yourself in a way that lives up to your own high standards. You have an internal ethical system and living according to your own rules is what matters most to you. Your approach to life tends to be positive and hopeful. Are You More Masculine or Feminine? Gender Balance & Identity Types What Makes You Masculine or Feminine? What Traditional Masculine Qualities Do You Possess? What Traditional Feminine Qualities Do You Possess? Gender Specific Communication The History Behind the Test For More Reading In this section, you'll learn how you scored on six major characteristics that comprise a traditional view of femininity. Each of your scores is plotted in the chart below, alongside the average scores for women and men. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cheerful As the label suggests, this quality of femininity is about presenting yourself to the world in a positive, energetic, upbeat manner. In addition to suggesting a generally happy demeanor, this aspect of femininity is about seeing the silver lining and maintaining an optimistic view even in the face of adversity. You are usually a very happy, cheerful person. You tend to have a warm, outgoing manner, and your energy and enthusiasm can be contagious. Other people enjoy your sunny disposition. You have a strong ability to find the up side of almost any situation and you tend to see the good in other people. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Compassionate A key element of femininity is caring and compassion. This quality is about relating to others and, more specifically, it's about the extent to which a person has a softhearted, tender, and sympathetic approach toward others. Showing kindness and affection are also parts of this traditional feminine quality. You tend to be an extremely caring and compassionate person. Your warmth and kindness show in how you treat the people around you. You probably cry at sad movies and may even get a little misty-eyed during those sweet, sentimental Hallmark commercials. You tend to be comfortable expressing affection. You'd probably like to help every person and take in every stray that crosses your path, and you're likely to seek out roles and situations in which you can express your strong care-giving skills. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gentle The gentle aspect of femininity is about a quality of warmth and softness. It involves having a pleasant, easy-going nature, and not approaching things in a harsh or rough manner even in times of conflict or stress. You are probably very gentle. You tend to conduct yourself in a manner that demonstrates your warm, easy-going nature. It usually takes a lot to make you angry, and you're good at turning the other cheek. It's not that you don't get angry, but when you do you generally work to resolve it and let it go. You're more likely to want to talk things out than throw a fit or throw something. You don't tend to seek out conflict and may actively avoid intense, stressful situations. You're likely to be most comfortable in environments, both physical and emotional, that are quiet, serene and tranquil. You have unique skill at creating such peaceful environments for yourself and others. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Understanding The understanding quality of femininity is somewhat similar to the masculine analytical quality, but in this case the object of analysis is people. Being understanding involves having empathy, and an ability to take in another person's perspective. It's about having insight into why people do what they do. You generally understand people very well. You are uniquely skilled at seeing things from another's perspective, and can empathize with people's problems and struggles. You tend to have a strong sense of intuition and insight into people's motivations and goals. Among your friends you're likely to be the person that everyone goes to with their problems. You would probably make a good therapist. It's likely that you seek out roles and situations that call upon your ability to understand others. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Timid The timid quality of femininity involves not wanting to speak up in some settings. Being timid includes feeling shy at times, and having a hard time voicing an opinion in some circumstances. There is a reluctance to express strong negative emotions. You are not very timid. In a crowd you tend to stand out. You generally enjoy attention from others and may even seek the spotlight. You're fairly self-confident and are not easily embarrassed. In a group setting you can usually jump right into the conversation. You can be very social and outgoing. When you first meet someone you're self-confidence helps you feel comfortable and you're probably good at making the other person feel comfortable as well. When you feel strongly about something, whether it's positive or negative, you tend to have little trouble expressing your feelings. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Trusting The trusting quality of femininity involves believing things too readily. This includes a tendency to not only believe what other people tell you, but also to have a difficult time discerning when someone is lying. This characteristic involves a level of optimism and belief in others that approaches gullibility. You are moderately trusting. When a friend tells you something you are most likely to believe it. However, when the source of some new information is unknown to you, you might believe it, but you may also approach it with a healthy dose of skepticism. You're not always good at telling when someone is lying. You might recall a time or two in the past when you discovered that you had been deceived. You want to see the best in people, and usually you have a fairly positive, optimistic outlook on life. Are You More Masculine or Feminine? Gender Balance & Identity Types What Makes You Masculine or Feminine? What Traditional Masculine Qualities Do You Possess? What Traditional Feminine Qualities Do You Possess? Gender Specific Communication The History Behind the Test For More Reading All of us have multiple social identities that contribute to our sense of self or who we are. These identities are drawn from the various roles that we play in life such as friend, student, professional, spouse, parent, and so on. Gender identity is one of the most fundamental of our social identities because it stems from the basic biological distinction between males and females. As noted earlier, sex typically refers simply to the physiological categories of male and female, whereas gender refers to the socially defined attributes of masculinity and femininity. Because gender categories derive in part from the distinction between the sexes there is typically a strong correspondence between one's sex and one's gender identity. In other words, most men tend to be masculine and most women tend to be feminine. The two other gender types that we've presented in this report, androgynous and sex role transcendent have developed mainly because of how society has changed in the past several decades. In addition, men and women have begun to assume roles that were traditionally played by the other sex. Communication is a central aspect of almost all relationships whether they are with family, friends, or romantic partners. Conversation is also one of the most common areas in which masculine and feminine styles are distinctive and potentially conflicting. Less is known about conversational styles of those who are androgynous or sex role transcendent because the available research in this area looks primarily at sex differences rather than gender differences. Based on Tickle's own research on gender, we can give you some idea of how each gender type communicates. Now that you know more about the four gender types, masculine, feminine, androgynous, and sex role transcendent, see if you can spot the communication styles of these types in the following scenarios. Scenario 1 Gretchen: My friend Zane is having a party tonight. Do you want to go with me? Andrew: Uh, is it going to be a big party? Gretchen: Probably, Zane has a lot of friends. Andrew: Will anyone I know be there? Gretchen: If not, you'll meet some new people. Look, I'm going either way, so just let me know what you decide. Andrew: I'd like to see you tonight, but I'm just not sure I'd be comfortable in a big group of people I don't know. Who is more masculine, Gretchen or Andrew? Who is more feminine? As the initiator of this conversation, Gretchen is taking a leading role. She makes her points clearly and succinctly, making it known that she has already decided what she plans to do. Andrew, on the other hand, is questioning and unsure throughout this exchange. When he does state his preference, we learn that he's not entirely comfortable in a large group setting where he doesn't know many people. He seems to be somewhat timid. In this situation, Gretchen is the more masculine communicator, while Andrew shows a more traditionally feminine style. Scenario 2 Jessica (smiling): Good morning! How are you doing? Amanda (smiling): Great, thanks for asking. How was your birthday celebration? Jessica: Oh, it was awesome. I got this home theater system with surround sound and I had so much fun hooking it up and playing with the various settings. Once I had it working, I watched "The Lord of the Rings" DVD with the director's notes and found out all kinds of stuff about the making of that movie. Did you know that all three parts of the trilogy were filmed simultaneously? Amanda (laughing a little): That's really fascinating, Jess. It sounds like you really had fun. You're so good with gadgets. Can you see the slight differences between these two styles? Jessica shows her cheerful side with her smiles and her warm greeting. Jessica also reveals some analytical tendencies with her description of her new electronics and the details of the movie she watched. Amanda demonstrates cheerfulness with her smile, and she goes on to show us some caring qualities when she asks about Jessica's birthday and is supportive of Jessica's interests and enthusiasm regarding her new toy. In this example, Jessica can best be described as androgynous while Amanda is more traditionally feminine. Scenario 3 Jeff cuts in front of Joe to stand with his friends in a long line of people waiting to see a popular new movie. Joe (loudly): Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing?! Jeff (quietly): I'm sorry, I'm just joining my friends. Joe: Yeah, well, the rest of us have been waiting here for over an hour and you can just get to the back of the line, buddy. Jeff: I understand, I don't want to upset anyone. I'd just like to wait with my friends. Joe: If you don't move to the back of the line I'm going to throw you to the back myself! Joe's obviously not too happy about Jeff cutting in line. Joe has a decidedly aggressive approach to this conversation, particularly since he seems willing to resort to violence to make his point. Jeff, on the other hand, responds in a rather mild, gentle, and understanding way. Joe demonstrates a highly masculine style, while Jeff shows a more feminine approach. So, how did you do? Were you able to spot the gender styles in these conversations? Although these examples are somewhat limited, you may be able to use what you see here and what you've learned in the rest of this report to get some idea of the gender identities of your own communication partners. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stereotypical Male and Female Communication Styles In the fields of communication and linguistics, the majority of research on gender specific communication has focused on communication between men and women without considering the psychological aspect of gender identity. Although this research may not shed light on exactly how androgynous (the integration of both masculine and feminine qualities) and sex role transcendent types (not identifying strongly with masculine or feminine characteristics) converse, it can help us understand how men and women typically or stereotypically communicate. Since, as we've noted before, most men tend to be masculine and most women tend to be feminine, we can take from this a sense of how masculine and feminine types are likely to converse. Prominent sociolinguist, Deborah Tannen, notes that generally for men, "conversations are negotiations in which people try to achieve and maintain the upper hand if they can, and protect themselves from others' attempts to put them down and push them around. Life, then, is a contest, a struggle to preserve independence and avoid failure." In contrast, women tend to approach the world "as individuals in a network of connections...Conversations are negotiations for closeness in which people try to seek and give confirmation and support, and to reach consensus. They try to protect themselves from others' attempts to push them away. Life, then, is a community, a struggle to preserve intimacy and avoid isolation." This does not mean that men don't care about establishing connections or that women don't care about achieving status; it means that these are not the central goals for men and women respectively. These very different approaches and goals can often lead to misunderstandings and conflict. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Communication Breakdown When women express that they have trouble or difficulty with something, they are typically looking for understanding and sympathy in the form of a related experience. For example, when Laura told her friend Susan that she hadn't been sleeping well since her mother passed away and just couldn't seem to concentrate on anything, Susan said, "I know. When my father died I was a wreck. I would forget to eat. I couldn't sleep for more than a couple hours at a time, and when I did I had very vivid dreams about childhood memories of my father. It took a long time for that stuff to settle down and for me to feel somewhat normal again." Susan's response made Laura feel better. When Laura told her boyfriend Jason about having trouble sleeping and concentrating, he said, "Why don't you try taking sleeping pills for a while?" Jason's response upset Laura. She didn't feel that he was being understanding or empathetic. Some women may find that they are often frustrated when men do not respond to their problems with examples that show they can relate to the situation. They may resent the masculine tendency to offer solutions to a problem rather than a similar experience. Likewise, men can sometimes be frustrated when they talk about a problem and women do offer an example that illustrates that they can relate. Not only does the feminine response sometimes not help the situation, but it can even be offensive, as in the following example: Evan: Work is so hectic. I'm really stressed about this big project. Kate: Yeah, my job is a nightmare right now too. Since they let two people go I'm doing twice as much work as I used to. Evan: Are you trying to minimize my problems? Kate: No, I'm not! I was just saying that I understand how you feel. Evan was offended by Kate's reaction to his stressful situation because he perceived she was competing with him. He felt that she was saying that his troubles were inconsequential compared to her own difficulties. Kate, on the other hand, was hurt and surprised by Evan's reaction to her sympathy. Why would he feel put down? She perceived the conversation as strengthening the connection between them, and was trying to show her support and understanding by describing the similarities of their situations. Evan would probably have been happier if Kate had said: "That really sucks, but I'm sure you'll get through it okay, you always do." Or even, "That's too bad. Have you thought about exercising a little more to help relieve the stress?" The first of these responses validates Evan's current experience and his status as someone who can handle a tough situation. The second also validates his current experience and uses the more masculine approach of offering a solution. In both of the conversations above, the speakers have good intentions. They are trying to be kind, understanding and sympathetic. When we understand how men and women generally approach and interpret these types of conversations, we can respond in a style that best fits the audience we're addressing. In other words, you can use the style to which they will relate. Also, when someone with a different communication style responds in a way that doesn't feel supportive and sympathetic, we can step back and remember why their approach is different, and that even so, their intentions are still good. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Who Talks More? Who Listens More? Picture a married couple in the kitchen at breakfast circa 1950. She's at the stove cooking eggs and he comes into the room, kisses her on the cheek and sits down at the table. She starts telling him all the little details of what she has to do that day. He says, "Uh huh." She brings their plates to the table and sets them down, asking, "What are you up to today?" He's reading the paper. He says, "Just the usual," and goes back to reading the paper. She's got her arms crossed over her chest and frowns at the back of his paper. The stereotype depicted in this scenario is that women or feminine types are constantly trying to get men or masculine types to open up and talk more. Now, picture a casual cocktail party around 1970. A group of men and women are talking about politics. One man says there is no point in voting because all politicians are crooks. Another male at the party jumps in and says that some crooks are better than others. A third man argues that if you don't vote you've got no right to complain when the country starts going to "hell in a hand basket!" The women listen attentively, some nod, but not one speaks up. In this image it is the men or masculine types who are dominating the conversation and the women or feminine types who are curiously quiet. So which picture is true? The answer is neither and both. These examples are based on stereotypes and as such are over-generalizations of real world behavior, so in this respect neither picture is completely true. From another perspective, both are true. Research shows that in private settings women or feminine types tend to do more of the talking. In public settings however, men or masculine types talk more often and for longer periods. Daniel spent the day with his friend Eric and when he got home his wife, Audrey, asked, "What's new with Eric?" Daniel responded, "Nothing." Later it came out that Eric and his girlfriend had just gotten engaged. Audrey was upset and hurt that Daniel hadn't told her. Audrey: When did he propose? Daniel: Last Saturday. Audrey: Where did he do it? Daniel: I don't know; some restaurant I guess. Audrey: Did he give her a ring or are they picking one out together? Daniel: I don't know. Audrey: Have they set a date? Daniel: I don't know. Audrey: Didn't you talk about it? For some men, "nothing" may be an automatic response at the start of a conversation. Also, men are often much less concerned with the small details than are women. From Audrey's perspective, Daniel was shutting her out. If Audrey had talked with Eric she would know the details about which she is asking, and she may find it hard to imagine that Daniel and Eric didn't discuss such details. Sharing the specifics of one's experience is an important aspect of the feminine communication style. It serves the goal of connection and intimacy. From the masculine perspective, these details simply aren't that important. When the setting is public, the picture changes. Mark and Jessica have just met at a party, and they have the following conversation: Jessica: So, what do you do? Mark: I lead outdoor team-building groups. Jessica: Wow, that must be a lot of fun. Mark: It is. I love the physical part of it, but there's definitely a mental aspect as well. It's important to get the group to work together and for each person to feel that they're contributing to the group's success. When it all goes right each person feels that they've pushed their own physical abilities a little farther than they thought they could, and the group feels like more of a cooperative team where everyone has more trust and understanding for each other than they did when we started. Jessica: Have you been doing this for a long time? Mark: Well, I've done outdoor stuff all of my life. I didn't realize until after college that I could make a living doing something I loved so much. Mark goes on to describe how he got into his field, and Jessica listens attentively. Mark and Jessica are conversing with some common masculine and feminine styles. Men tend to give information; they typically believe that the best way to strike up a conversation is to come up with an interesting piece of information. Women, in contrast, tend to ask questions about the other person and to listen actively by nodding, smiling, and generally encouraging the person to whom they are listening. Although we usually rely on the communication style that is consistent with our sex, it is possible to learn and use, occasionally, the other style. In private settings, men can try to offer more specifics to show a female partner that he feels connected to her. Women can try to accept that not sharing details may have nothing to do with how close or connected he feels to her. In public settings, men may be relieved to learn that they don't always need to bear the burden of making the conversation interesting and that it's okay to just listen. Women who find themselves too often in the role of listener can practice moving out of that position and putting forth ideas and opinions without waiting for someone to yield the floor. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Understanding What the Other Half Says People with conversational styles that are highly masculine or highly feminine can benefit from learning each other's style. The masculine style teaches that conflict and difference need not necessarily be a threat to intimacy. The feminine style teaches that interdependence need not be a threat to freedom and independence. Understanding the different ways that men and women use language makes it possible to change your own way of speaking, when you want to. But even without changing your style, simply understanding the different approaches can improve communication and relationships. When people realize that their conversation partner has a different communication style, they are better able to accept differences without blaming themselves, their partners, or their relationships. There is no one "right" way to talk, to listen, or to have a conversation. When people don't see style differences for what they are, they may draw conclusions about personality ("you're irrational," "you're insensitive"), or about intentions ("you don't care about me," "you don't respect me"). When we understand that "you have a different way of showing you care" or "you're not trying to control me" there is room for adjustment or negotiation. You can ask for or make changes without assigning blame. Understanding the ways that people with different gender identities approach conversation can bridge the "gender gap," and genuinely open the lines of communication.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got. — Janis Joplin As a Type 1, The Idealist, you're an individual who sees how good things truly can be. This sense of optimism and discerning nature has probably helped you develop quite a strong set of values. However for you, it's not simply a question of having high morals; it's about having predetermined standards for each aspect of your life and setting the bar high. More than most people, you not only appreciate it when the things and people around are the best that they can be — you expect them to be. In fact, attaining your ideals and surrounding yourself with others who do the same helps your life feel balanced and right. However at times, unrealistic expectations may cause you to work feverishly toward your goals, believing that you can always do better. While you're busy achieving great things and making excellent impressions — as you're bound to — you may also have an over-active inner critic chattering away in your head. This voice likely monitors both your actions and those of the people around you — and none too kindly. It may also point out people's faults and inconsistencies of character. Chalk this negative self-talk up to your acute attention to detail and try to quiet it whenever possible. It is a good thing to have benchmarks that you can measure life by. At the same time, focusing on these criteria too closely can lead to disappointment when things don't measure up. By learning to harness the most positive aspects of your idealistic tendencies, you can learn to embrace others' differences and celebrate their successes. Know that you can accept people's weaknesses — even your own — without having to abandon your moral character or strong sense of values. Like everyone, to some extent your personality has been shaped by past experiences. One reason you may identify with Idealists, Enneagram Type 1, is if you received any heavy criticism from authority figures during your childhood. If this is the case, your personality may have developed so that you try to "be good" to avoid being a disappointment or getting into trouble in the future. Another possibility is that as a child you may have been encouraged to take on the kinds of responsible roles usually held by adults. This kind of situation could have created an inner pressure to perform well, as well as an expectation that you should always be capable beyond your natural level. Your enneagram report How your type works for (or against) you Compatibility in love Compatibility at work History behind the test For More Reading When you're feeling your best, you probably experience a sense of oneness with others and understand that, really, everything is perfect — or at least perfect enough — just the way it is. You may also become aware that although it normally seems that there is only one proper way to do things, there are actually many correct paths. At these times, you can sense that life isn't always about what's right and wrong. Sometimes it's just about appreciating what's different. In this positive and open state, you can realize your full potential. However, you aren't likely to be at your best every day. During the times when you're feeling your worst, you may become angry or guilty about not having reached your own high standards. You may also grow to resent others' successes or to feel dissatisfied with the state of your own life. At times when you've started to give up on yourself, you may notice yourself becoming clumsy or careless. You may also make even more mistakes. In critiquing these errors, you create an even lower opinion of yourself. Know that this kind of downward spiral is caused by a belief that you must be "good," or even perfect, to be worthy of love. By possessing such a worldview, you can try endlessly to be correct and proper and endlessly fail because there is no such thing as complete and total perfection in life. How can you avoid feeling your worst and start feeling your best? Above all, have compassion for yourself. Try to recognize when you're being overly critical and stop talking yourself down. When you recognize that the world isn't perfect and that you aren't either, you can breathe easier and accept yourself the way you are. It will also help you to practice acceptance and forgiveness of others. Finally, allow yourself time to relax and play. You'll likely discover that you can be happy and productive without always needing to steadfastly focus on your goals. As a Type 1, The Idealist, your typical strategy when looking for love likely involves making yourself as worthy of love as possible. To do this, you can make continued efforts to meet your self-imposed standards regarding what is appealing and acceptable. In essence, you try to be as good as you can be. You want any date of yours to know what a prize they have discovered. You may attempt to do this through elaborate pre-date grooming rituals that help you look your very best. You may also focus conversation on your accomplishments and successes. At times, these methods will work like a charm. When they don't, you're likely to feel a bit rejected. At times when you're feeling unloved, you might blame yourself for not being good enough or hold resentment against others for not seeing how lovable you are. In a move toward greater self-acceptance, try to regard yourself as a whole being, not someone divided into "good" and "bad" parts. Let yourself feel worthy of love, despite your perceived faults. Realize that not all goals in life will be met. Things often work out in ways you didn't anticipate. Sometimes the results are better, sometimes worse, but most often they're just different. Try to embrace all these possibilities, especially as you're looking for love. When looking for a romantic partner using Enneagram types, consider how the types interact. The descriptions below give a general sense of how well each type matches yours. They also describe where the pleasure in these matches is likely to be manifested and identifies challenges you may face. Pairing 1: Shared vision. An "Idealist / Idealist" relationship is marked by high ideals and a focus on shared relationship goals. The two of you can be at your best when you're living by your mutually valued standards and achieving your dreams together. However, tension can occur between the two of you when you possess opposing views of what is right. Pairing 2: Save the world. An "Idealist / Humanitarian" relationship is marked by a shared desire to improve the lives of others. The two of you can be at your best when you're using your shared time and resources for the greater good. However, tension can occur between the two of you if you take your Humanitarian's helpful suggestions as personal criticisms. They may also have a tendency to interfere with your need for space and independence at times. Pairing 3: Achievement. An "Idealist / Entertainer" relationship is marked by high levels of achievement as both types are focused on success. The two of you can be at your best when you're both achieving the goals you've set for yourselves and showing support for one other's endeavors. Tension in your relationship can result from your Entertainer's tendency to cut corners and your opposing tendency to be a stickler for details. Pairing 4: Sense of purpose. An "Idealist / Expressive" relationship is marked by a real sense of purpose and connectedness. The two of you can be at your best when you're sharing your time and thoughts to relate on a deeply personal level. However, know that criticizing your Expressive too harshly when they don't seem to fit your need for perfection can create tension in your relationship. Pairing 5: Self-reliance. An "Idealist / Experimenter" relationship is marked by self-reliance and rational agreements. The two of you can be at your best when you're both taking care of your own needs and steering clear of emotionally charged issues. Tension is likely to arise when either one of you makes negative judgments about the other's morals or intellect. Pairing 6: Strong and serious. An "Idealist / Advocate" relationship is marked by a desire to build a strong and serious relationship together. The two of you can be at your best when you're focused on doing just that. However, your Advocate's tendency to skeptically question your beliefs or plans may create tension in your relationship — especially if they trigger your fear of being proven wrong. Pairing 7: Reverse limits. An "Idealist / Adventurer" relationship is marked by each having different perspectives on limits, constraints, and correct action. The two of you can be at your best when you're enjoying one another's differences and both making space for each other's views. Tension is likely to result when your respect for rules and regulations clashes with your Adventurer's fervent disregard for them. Pairing 8: Joined for justice. An "Idealist / Leader" relationship is marked by a joined quest for justice and fairness. The two of you can be at your best when you're both behaving in ways that the other finds helpful and just. Tension between the two of you can result if you lack spontaneity or your Leader feels the need to impose the "right" ways of doing things on you. Pairing 9: Steady. An "Idealist / Negotiator" relationship is marked by dependability, steadiness, and a desire for a harmonious relationship. The two of you can be at your best when you're taking good care of one another and valuing the other's company. If tensions arise in your relationship, it can be due to inflexibility on your part. It can also be due to any feelings of inferiority your Negotiator has regarding you. Find a partner using Enneagram types Find someone who will love you for who you are. Not everyone is a perfectionist. There are loads of people who will treasure you for both your excellence and your self-proclaimed faults. Now that you know what your Enneagram type brings to a relationship, you can begin your search for a partner who has a compatible type. Try this: Think about how you can learn to manage your negative tendencies in a relationship. By preparing for your next relationship in this way, you can give yourself a head start to having smoother relations in tough times. Print out the nine compatibilities provided above and place a star next to each pairing that appeals to you. Consider both (a) the allure of the positive aspects and (b) how well you think you could handle the negative aspects. There isn't a relationship pairing that exists without tension, but you can choose the kind of tension you're most comfortable with. Now get your search started. How can you find out the Enneagram types of potential partners? There are a few ways: (a) you can try to guess a person's type by the way they interact with you on a first date, (b) you can encourage them to take Tickle's Enneagram test and tell you what their type is, or (c) you can search on Tickle Matchmaking where available singles have posted all kinds of Tickle test results (including the Enneagram) so that others can get to know about their personality before agreeing to a first date. Your enneagram report How your type works for (or against) you Compatibility in love Compatibility at work History behind the test For More Reading You'll usually do your best in positions where processes and procedures are in place. This leverages your ability to follow the rules and keep things orderly. In management positions, you can run a tight ship. You also excel at streamlining and systematizing an organization. Fields you are most likely to be suited to include teaching, research, or accounting. When you're considering employment with a new company, one of the most important things for you to think about is how well you'll get along with your potential co-workers. The descriptions below give a general sense of how well each of the Enneagram types matches yours in the workplace, as well as how well you're likely to work with that type in supervisory and support positions. Here's what you're likely to experience working with: another Type 1 (The Idealist): Shared vision. When you're working harmoniously with your own type as either the boss or the subordinate, you will find that you can achieve great things as you both have the same high standards and work ethic. Be aware that you may experience friction if you have differing approaches to what is moral and correct. Type 2 (The Humanitarian): Save the world. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, your efforts will likely be focused on improving the plight of others, perhaps through non-profit work. Be aware that you may have friction if the Humanitarian tries too hard to help when you really don't need — or want — their assistance. Type 3 (The Entertainer): Achievement. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you can be focused on success almost to the exclusion of all other things. Be aware that you may have friction if the Entertainer cuts corners on details that are important to you. Type 4 (The Expressive): Sense of purpose. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you will be operating as a tight team with clear goals. Be aware that you may have friction if the Expressive takes your professional criticisms personally and gets hurt. Type 5 (The Experimenter): Self-reliance. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you will work separately and rationally toward shared goals. Be aware that you may have friction if the Experimenter seems to believe that they are intellectually superior to you. Type 6 (The Advocate): Strong and serious. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you will have a solid working relationship built on loyalty. Be aware that you may have friction if the Advocate questions your beliefs too much, causing you to feel picked on. Type 7 (The Adventurer): Reverse limits. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you will understand and respect each other's approach to authority. Be aware that you may have friction if the Adventurer disregards the company's authority in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or angry. Type 8 (The Leader): Joined for justice. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you work together for the cause of justice. Be aware that you may have friction if the Leader becomes too controlling or overbearing. Type 9 (The Negotiator): Steady. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you trust that your work relationship will remain dependable and steady into the future. Be aware that you may have friction if the Negotiator develops feelings of inferiority to you.

Merritt, you have your own distinct brand of smart. As a result, you're likely more geared toward some types of intelligence than others. The important thing to remember is that the scores you receive below are an indication of where you stand today. Everyone possesses the capacity to improve and change. To help you do just that, Tickle's experts have provided a series of action steps in each section below to help you fulfill your potential. But first, let's examine what you're best at. Your greatest strength is Visual/Spatial Intelligence. You scored a 10 out of 10. This means that you scored above 100% of the others who took this test. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 What is visual/spatial intelligence? People with visual/spatial intelligence have the interesting ability of being able to form high-quality mental images and even manipulate those pictures to form new things. Visual/spatial abilities can include being able to visualize accurate representations of existing objects and having the skill to imagine detailed original designs or scenes. In the career world, this can make visual/spatial types great at everything from mechanical engineering to interior design. People with this intelligence typically have a high level of attention to detail and are well in touch with their surroundings. As a result, visually/spatially intelligent people can make great hunters because they tend to notice even small changes in their physical environment — a key when tracking prey. They're also the kinds of individuals you'd want in control of the map on a road trip. Visual/spatial intelligence can make people great with directions. In addition, people with strong visual/spatial intelligence typically love aesthetics. They can usually find beauty in both manmade and natural things. Appreciating a sunset, noticing how patterns and colors fit together to make a great outfit, and having at least a passing knowledge of architecture and design are all different ways that their love of beauty can manifest. People who use this type of intelligence tend to think in pictures rather than numbers or words. As a result, those who score relatively high on visual/spatial intelligence are better at learning concepts when seeing charts, pictures, or diagrams rather than hearing a lecture. Overall, using this type of intelligence can enrich your life because it requires a vivid imagination. Indeed, by forming creative mental images and really seeing the things around you, you can make the world a more wondrous place. The activities below are designed to help you to exercise your spatial skills and further advance your imagination and visual abilities. Each task focuses on a different aspect of visual/spatial intelligence. Begin with something basic. Then challenge yourself to expand your talents even more. Start small Try rearranging the furniture in one room of your house. Begin by visualizing how the new layout will look, draw it, and then move things around to see how you like the new look. When walking or driving to a familiar destination, take a new route to familiarize yourself with different paths and how they fit together. Listen to classical music; it's known to increase visual/spatial skills. Challenge yourself Next time you need to learn or teach a new concept, try creating a graph or a diagram to convey the information. Check out your local college or community center to sign up for a class in photography, sculpting, or drawing to explore your visual creativity. Either take an orienteering class or learn to master using a compass and your surroundings so that you can hike on your own. It will help you become more attuned to your surroundings. Your multiple intelligences report Your greatest strength Your complete intelligence profile History behind the test Reading list Visual/ Spatial Logical/ Mathematical Social Linguistic Personal Physical Visual/spatial intelligence (aka "picture smarts") This trait involves accurately forming mental pictures and being able to interpret the physical world. Logical/mathematical intelligence (aka "reasoning/numbers smarts") This trait involves higher-order thinking through abstract and numerical reasoning. Social intelligence (aka "people smarts") This trait centers on successfully decoding interpersonal cues to respond to others with empathy. Linguistic intelligence (aka "word smarts) This means clearly expressing thoughts and feelings in written or oral form. Personal intelligence (aka "self smarts") This means being in tune with your inner self through exploring your feelings, values, and ideas. Physical intelligence (aka "body smarts) This trait involves the ability to control and direct body movements for achievement or expression. Most everyone has at least some degree of each of these six types of intelligence. Yet it's also true that almost no one uses any one kind of intelligence to its fullest potential. Most of us take advantage of certain aspects of an intelligence we have but don't explore its other benefits. As you read the sections below, notice the ways you're actively using your intelligences today and the ways you can expand them in the future. The Take Action sections will help you get started. Before looking at the details of your remaining intelligences, you might want to know how we generated this summary of your skills. While you were answering the test questions, we measured your intelligence level in six distinct areas: linguistic, logical/mathematical, personal, physical, social, and visual/spatial. As you look at your multiple intelligences profile, you may notice that you can receive the same score on more than one of your intelligences. Don't worry, that's very common. If some of the intelligences share the same score, it simply means that you're equally good at all of those skills. Here's how your intelligences profile is ranked. First, we calculated your overall score for each intelligence. The higher the score, the higher it is ranked in your intelligences profile. If you receive the same score on more than one type of intelligence, our researchers then looked at how difficult it is for people to get high scores on those different areas. They then ranked those competing intelligences in order of difficulty. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Logical/Mathematical Intelligence You scored a 10 out of 10 on Logical/Mathematical Intelligence. This means that you scored above 100% of the others who took this test. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 What is logical/mathematical intelligence? People with a high level of logical/mathematical intelligence are generally great problem solvers who are able to both think critically and analyze data. Individuals who have this intelligence also tend to see the world as a logical place. This is probably true because they're usually so skilled at picking up the patterns all around them. Whether it's a scientist noticing a repeated behavior in one of her subjects or a mathematician using patterns of numbers to solve a theorem, this type of intelligence can be extremely handy in intellectual pursuits. However, there are also plenty of everyday uses for logical/mathematical intelligence. For example, whether you're reading the financial pages or the sports section, the newspaper is typically filled with data and statistics for you to interpret. Indeed, it's hard to grasp the complexities of important scientific, social, economic, or political issues if you can't understand the information given. Life is also filled with plenty of opportunities to use applied math. Balancing your checkbook, bargain shopping, and even gambling demand some level of logical/mathematical intelligence. When it comes to money, people who are logically/mathematically intelligent typically have the benefit of being better able to manage their own finances. They also have a leg up on understanding the factors that affect their investments. As learners, people who are strong in this type of intelligence comprehend things most effectively through trial and error rather than through verbal instruction or visual diagrams. In particular, if given a problem to solve, logical/mathematical people will usually prefer to test out solutions themselves rather than to be told or shown what the right answer is. Moreover, people who use this intelligence can be stronger than most other people are at weighing the merits of different arguments. By looking at facts critically, these individuals are good at forming their own conclusions — an ability that can make them great business leaders and first-rate independent thinkers. Your above-average score indicates that you already use this intelligence effectively in your life. As a result, Tickle has provided you with some ways to improve your intelligence so that you reach the top of your ability. The following action steps will help you to increase your familiarity and adeptness with numbers and scientific concepts. They'll do this by helping you focus on topics that probably aren't typically part of your life, as well as by working math into your daily routine. Start small Buy or borrow a high school math textbook — anything from algebra to geometry or trigonometry — and reacquaint yourself with concepts that you might not have fully understood the first time around. If you're not already a regular viewer, try to spend a couple hours a week watching scientific programming on the Discovery Channel, the Learning Channel, or PBS. By watching programs that talk about scientific concepts and explain different discoveries, you can improve your logic and deductive reasoning capabilities. Make it a priority to visit science and technology museums on occasion to better understand the concepts that underpin both scientific advancements and the natural world. Challenge yourself Read about a mathematical or scientific concept and then teach it to someone else less knowledgeable than you are. Learn a computer programming language such as BASIC, C, or PASCAL. Picking up one of these languages is not only a marketable job skill, but it can also help you hone your logical and pattern recognition abilities. Subscribe to a popular science journal such as Science, Psychology Today, Omni, or Scientific American to keep up with the latest discoveries and research. Your multiple intelligences report Your greatest strength Your complete intelligence profile History behind the test Reading list -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Social Intelligence You scored a 10 out of 10 on Social Intelligence. This means that you scored above 100% of the others who took this test. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 What is social intelligence? Social intelligence refers to the ability to read other people and understand their intentions and motivations. People with this intelligence are usually clued in to the differences between what others say and what they really mean. As a result, socially intelligent types may sometimes be accused of being mind readers. People who successfully use this type of intelligence can be masterful conversationalists. This can be due to a combination of excellent listening skills and the ability to meaningfully engage others. People who are socially intelligent can usually make the people around them feel comfortable and included. They also tend to enjoy interacting with a variety of people. Other valuable skills that can come along with social intelligence are the ability to assert one's own needs, effective conflict resolution skills, and the gift of being able to solve most problems in a cooperative fashion. By being able to key in on others' needs — sometimes more clearly than those people can themselves — socially intelligent individuals can be highly perceptive. This trait can be a great boon in business as well as in personal matters. Because they often feed off their relationships with others, if social types find themselves without a romantic partner, close family, or a circle of friends to share their life with, monetary and academic successes can lose their luster. When it comes to understanding the mindset of many socially intelligent people, Ralph Waldo Emerson may have said it best: "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success." There's evidence that working to optimize social intelligence can even be beneficial to your health. It's been shown that lonely individuals are highly susceptible to depression and a variety of other mental and physical ailments. So by developing a close social network and learning to be emotionally available and depend on others, you can be not just happier but healthier, too. Although you appear to have a solid grasp on your people skills, the following activities can help you hone them even further. Because you've probably noticed that social intelligence is something that can produce dramatic results, Tickle's team has provided a variety of both basic and challenging ways you can kick your social intelligence up a notch. Start small The next time you're at an airport or in the lobby of a building, take some time to people watch. In studying people's behaviors you can improve your "people perception." As you notice people relating, ask yourself the following questions: (a) What is the relationship between the people speaking to one another? (b) What emotions are people experiencing? (c) What sorts of nonverbal gestures are being displayed, and what do these gestures mean? By coming to understand others movements, speech, and expressions, you can really become a great reader of people's moods and intentions. Smile more often. People are much more apt to respond warmly to you when they think they will be received well. Generate positivity. Avoid chances to criticize, complain, or judge others harshly. Remember the adage, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all?" It's one that's put to good use by people with high social intelligence. Challenge yourself Try to become aware of the signals that your behavior and body language convey to others. For example, if your coworkers frequently ask you if something is wrong or why you're upset, it's a cue that you need to take a closer look at yourself. Do you walk around the office with a long face or a constantly slouched posture? If so, you may be communicating that you're unhappy or something is wrong even if you don't intend to do so. Although it's an easy thing to do, resist the urge to talk about yourself. Generally, sharing your thoughts and feelings can be a good thing. However, it's important to make an effort to expand conversations to more general topics and to ask polite questions about others. That way the people you're speaking with won't feel excluded or unimportant. This focus also helps you avoid disclosing too much personal information. No one is saying that you need to be close-mouthed or secretive. Just remember that when it comes to talking about your private life, sometimes less is more. Learn how to disagree gracefully. Having a different point of view from others isn't a problem unless you make it so. If you find yourself repeating your points or trying to persuade someone with no success, know when to quit and agree to disagree. If the point or disagreement is an important one, seek to truly understand the other person so you can find common ground. When you're able to compromise, both of you can be satisfied. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Linguistic Intelligence You scored a 10 out of 10 on Linguistic Intelligence. This means that you scored above 100% of the others who took this test. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 What is linguistic intelligence? Generally, people with a high degree of linguistic intelligence have a greater gift for expressing themselves than most other people do. In fact, linguistically intelligent people often become known as real wordsmiths among their friends and colleagues. Whether their skills center on having the gift of gab or the ability to turn an elegant phrase, linguistically intelligent types know how to get a point across with precision and flair. Poets, thespians, writers, and public speakers are among the people who rely heavily on linguistic intelligence. At times, having this type of intelligence can make for very persuasive communication. By choosing the right words at the right time, linguistic intelligence can help people clearly express their ideas, thoughts, and feelings to others. This can be a crucial skill in both professional and personal life. Linguistically talented people are often able to tailor their communication to a variety of audiences. Many also seem to know when subtlety is more appropriate than being overly direct. Think about the people in your life who can tell a great story or who have others in stitches when telling a joke. That's linguistic intelligence, too. It's a skill that can make people a real hit in social situations. By crafting vivid descriptions and emotional language, people with linguistic intelligence can keep an audience riveted. People who score relatively high on this intelligence tend to think in words instead of pictures. As a result, when it comes to learning something, they're better able to understand verbal explanations than charts or drawings. Studying the origins of words, slang, and metaphors can also be intriguing to those who score high on this intelligence. As for leisure time, when linguistic types are not telling stories themselves, they might be found curled up with a good book. Typically lovers of the written word, linguistically intelligent people can be voracious readers. You've already got a better handle on this type of intelligence than most people do, but there's always room for improvement. The action points below can help you to make your written and verbal communication skills more varied, specific, and engaging. Start small and work up. Start small Dust off your dictionary, and use it to learn five new words a week. You'd be amazed at how many words you've probably never even seen. For an added challenge, consider buying a book on verbal expressions like metaphors or quotations to familiarize yourself with new expressions. Once you've got them down, try working them into conversations. If you remember your dreams, keep a dream journal next to your bed, and each morning take a few minutes to capture them as vividly as possible on paper. If you don't already own one, stop by your local library or bookstore to pick up some books on tape. As you listen to them, take careful note of how narrators bring the stories to life. Challenge yourself Try writing a nonfiction story with a standard plot line. Standard plot lines usually consist of an introduction, rising action, the climax or turning point, falling action, and a resolution. Books are available on this topic if you need help. Try to write a poem that encapsulates how you felt when you did something on your own for the first time. Think about a funny experience you've had and practice telling it out loud in front of a mirror in the most dramatic and amusing way possible. Once you're comfortable, try it out on your friends or family. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Personal Intelligence You scored a 10 out of 10 on Personal Intelligence. This means that you scored above 100% of the others who took this test. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 What is personal intelligence? People with a high level of personal intelligence aren't afraid to ask themselves life's big questions: "Why am I here?" or "What's the meaning of life?" These issues are everyday fare for people using their personal intelligence. By being willing to explore the unknown, personally intelligent people can seem positively fearless to those who'd rather focus on simpler, more concrete issues. It's true: Asking deep questions that may have no definitive answers can be scary at times. However, by delving into these existential places, personally intelligent types can become very in tune with their feelings, values, and ideals. It's a kind of self-knowledge that people with less of this intelligence rarely experience. After all, getting to know who you are and understanding your place in this world should not be things left only to philosophers, psychologists, and religious scholars. Developing a solid sense of yourself can be crucial to nurturing self-esteem and a positive self-image. People who score high on personal intelligence are typically comfortable expressing the full spectrum of their emotions. They are also generally in tune with their conscious and unconscious feelings. Perhaps most importantly, people with a high degree of this intelligence appear not just to recognize their own emotions, but the underlying causes for them, as well. This can make personally intelligent people very self-reliant and able to improve their own lives. People who are personally intelligent seem to realize that it's not so important what the answers to life's big questions are, but that the questions are being asked. By forcing yourself to face who you are, you can begin to accept who you are, as well. Possessing inner peace can make what others think of you matter much less. In activating personal intelligence to its fullest, you can effectively enrich your life. This is true because in many ways, this kind of intelligence represents an integration of your mind and heart. Personal intelligence is never completely achieved. In fact, this particular type of intelligence needs to be practiced on a consistent basis in order to be maintained. Based on your score, it's apparent that you use this type of intelligence to some extent already. With this in mind, below our research team has offered a variety of exercises to help you expand your self-knowledge. Try them out to see which ones most positively enhance your personal intelligence. Start small Get to know yourself by writing your own biography. If you're having a hard time getting the hang of writing about yourself, read a biography of someone you admire first. Once properly inspired, the writing may more easily. Practice being alone with your thoughts. Learn to enjoy silence. Many people avoid dealing with themselves by always having some type of distraction around them — TV, music, other people. Try spending 20 to 30 minutes of quiet time to yourself each day. Do something that makes you happy at least once a day. Pet your cat. Take a run. Play with a niece or nephew. Whatever you choose to do, make sure that you're giving yourself time to enjoy your life and the things and people around you. Challenge yourself Forgive someone unconditionally for what they have done to you. Understand that your negative feelings are only weighing you down. Better yet, forgive yourself for something that you've done and that you truly regret. You'll be surprised the weight that can be lifted from you when you practice forgiveness. Is there something you always wanted to do but have always been afraid to try — like rock climbing, taking a dance class, or even going on a safari? Remember that where there's a will, there's a way. Take a little time to do some research and bolster your self-confidence. Once you start charting out a concrete plan you may find that the goal isn't so unreachable after all. Find ways to strengthen your spirit. Whether it's through practicing your religion or some type of philosophy, find ways to feel connected with yourself and with nature. Some people feel at peace with themselves in a house of worship, such as a church, mosque, temple, or synagogue. Others go to a park or garden, or simply take a walk to seek spiritual refuge. Wherever you go, you can strengthen your personal intelligence by taking time to reflect and be thankful. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Physical Intelligence You scored a 9 out of 10 on Physical Intelligence. This means that you scored above 90% of the others who took this test. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 What is physical intelligence? When most of us think of physical intelligence, we think of dancers and athletes. Indeed, athletic prowess, physical grace, and control of the body for achievement or expression are each important aspects of this kind of intelligence. However, another important facet is the use of fine motor skills such as hand-eye coordination for activities like surgery, carpentry, and painting. Very few people can accomplish the highest levels of physical intelligence, and those who do — whether sports heroes or heart surgeons — are usually both admired and paid handsomely for it. Yet everyone can benefit enormously from improving our intelligence in this realm. Until recently, physical intelligence was something that had been devalued in our society, mostly as a result of the industrial revolution. Once people developed machines to do tasks like farming and metal work, people's physical abilities in these areas were pushed aside. Fortunately today, medical research demonstrates the importance of physical activity and maintaining a mind-body connection. It's been found that the more people use their bodies and preserve their physical capabilities, the more their thinking can improve, as well. Physical intelligence isn't just about muscle and athleticism. There are a variety of skills that can be worked on when it comes to improving physical intelligence including strength, endurance, flexibility, balance, dexterity, expressiveness, coordination, and good reflexes (Armstrong, 1999). People who use this type of intelligence frequently come to see their bodies as a source of joy, along with the added bonus of suffering less from stress and certain types of disease. With all the talk in the media about the importance of physical fitness and an active lifestyle, you probably understand the value of some aspects of physical intelligence by now. In fact, based on your score, it's evident that you've put emphasis on this intelligence in your own life already. As a result, Tickle's experts are making the stakes in this area higher by giving you a variety of physical challenges. Because physical intelligence can be easily measured, you'll be able to appreciate your progress as you go. Start small So long as you don't have any specific physical limitations, try working on your flexibility. One way to test your present level of flexibility is by seeing if, while holding your arms straight, you can make the palms of your hands touch each other behind your back. Practice daily until you can do so. Or for a more in-depth challenge, consider trying out a beginner yoga class at your local gym. Breathing is crucial to health and fitness. Yet did you know that most of us breathe incorrectly? Correct breathing is accomplished by inhaling deeply and expanding your abdomen so that your diaphragm moves downward. This way, air flows into your lungs more effectively. When you breathe out the diaphragm moves upward so that the air is pushed out of the lungs. Try concentrating on your breathing for at least five minutes per day. If you don't already, try to make simple exercises a part of your daily routine. Consider adding a 30-minute speed walk or floor exercise session to your schedule. You'll be amazed by what even these short workouts can accomplish when you stick to them. Challenge yourself Increase your strength, reflexes, and balance by taking a martial arts or a self-defense course. If there's not one available in your area, try to find yourself a good at home martial arts workout video instead. Go out dancing! Whether in a class or at a club, it can be fun to express yourself physically. Don't worry if you're not great at first; there'll be lots of other beginners. No matter what type of dance you choose (e.g., salsa, ballroom, tap, jazz), it can increase your grace and coordination. Get a complete fitness evaluation by a personal trainer. Once you've discussed your goals and determined your fitness level, you can develop a regimen that increases particular strengths or works on weaknesses. Famous uses of intelligence We can all use a little inspiration. Check out how these visionaries put their different types of intelligence to work. The list below is a perfect example of how important each type of intelligence really is. If everyone were simply book-smart, where would we all be today? Visual/Spatial Dale Chihuly: Glassblower and artist Maya Lin: Architect of the Civil Rights and Vietnam Veteran's Memorials Charles and Ray Eames: Furniture designers Logical/Mathematical Erno Rubik: Inventor of the Rubik's Cube John Nash: Mathematician Suze Orman: Financial advisor Social Dr. Phil McGraw: Author and therapist Dr. John Gottman: Researcher and marriage counselor Barbara Walters: Journalist and talk show host Linguistic Amy Tan: Writer Pablo Neruda: Poet Tony Kushner: Playwright Personal Dalai Lama: Tibetan spiritual leader Deepak Chopra: Spiritual guru Oprah Winfrey: Talk show host Physical Twyla Tharp: Choreographer and dancer Lance Armstrong: Bike racer Dr. Christiaan Barnard: Surgeon of first heart transplant Your multiple intelligences report Your greatest strength Your complete intelligence profile History behind the test Reading list Fortunately, the field of assessing intelligence has come a long way from measuring the size of our skulls. However, even 50 years ago, traditional beliefs about intelligence indicated that people's capacity for learning was fixed. In other words, the prevailing view was that you're either born smart or you're not. Furthermore, measuring intelligence was almost completely limited to how well you performed on logic and math tests. But fast-forward to the early 1980s, and you would have found Dr. Howard Gardner advocating a new way of looking at intelligence. His influential theory of multiple intelligences helped educational psychologists and others to broaden their thinking about what it means to be smart. According to Gardner, thinking about intelligence needed to acknowledge more than one form of intelligence. To describe the many dimensions Gardner felt made up intelligence, he coined the term multiple intelligences. His theory centers on the idea that intelligence is made up of at least seven to nine distinct abilities. It also postulates that all human beings possess a number of types of intelligence in varying amounts. What's more is that Gardner believed people's intelligence could be improved. To help you put Gardner's theory in action, Tickle created the Multiple Intelligences test. While Gardner looked at up to nine different areas of intelligence, Tickle's test focuses on what we feel to be the core six: linguistic, visual/spatial, logical/mathematical, physical (or as Gardner called it, "body"), social (Gardner termed it "interpersonal"), and personal (Gardner used the term "intrapersonal"). We hope this test helps you understand that you no longer need to be judged by strict and narrow standards of what it means to be smart. Instead, you can start to appreciate the many ways that you and others are intelligent. If you'd like to learn more about this topic, Tickle's research team suggests the references below for future reading.

Merritt, you're Hot 'n' Sexy When you enter a room, all eyes gravitate toward you. Like a moth to a flame, people can't help but notice you. Maybe it's how you casually move through a crowd or that glow you give off when you flash that smile. You're hot and it shows. Could it be the haircut that says it all about you, the jeans that fit just right, or the casual way you saunter across a room looking confident from all angles? You have an air about you that commands respect from men and women alike. You possess such outward strength that these people ache to be around you. When you speak, people hang on your every word. You are so full of charisma and cachet that, whether in a business or social setting, you can gauge the mood in the room and offer the right compliment or provocative statement for any scene. Do you have a secret intuition about how people work? Just maybe. And that's one of the sexiest things about you.

Merritt, you have high confidence. Very High High Medium Low Very Low Percentage of Test Takers Confidence is the trait that makes people feel self-assured and certain that they have what it takes to be successful. You have high confidence. As a result, most of the time you probably feel quite stable and emotionally calm. However, it's not unlikely that there are also times when you feel insecure or overwhelmed by stress. When stressful things happen, try to maintain your perspective and avoid emotional extremes. Remember that you can choose to look on the bright side of any situation that presents itself. Chances are you already know how to snap yourself out of negative patterns of self-doubt when they happen. You may just need a little push in the right direction to be encouraged to do it. Because of your usual high level of self-acceptance and belief in yourself, you're generally open and accepting of others. This graciousness can include a tendency to be warm to those around you. It can also mean that you reserve your judgments of people until you get to know them well. People who come in contact with you likely appreciate this generous nature and may seek out your company. When it comes to dealing with yourself, you're usually equally kind. You're not really one to engage in self-blaming behaviors. You'll usually cut yourself some slack when it comes to feelings of guilt and shame. In most situations, you appear to understand that positivity is a more productive approach to life's challenges. However, even with high confidence, you're going to experience off days. Whether due to adverse judgments made by others or unreasonably high expectations for yourself, sometimes you're bound to feel vulnerable, insecure, or hurt. When this happens, be gentle with yourself. Confidence can be a great personal strength to help get you through rough times. But remember that for this trait to thrive, you need to feed it with love and acceptance of all your positive and negative attributes, as well as your mistakes and your successes. Strive to avoid being a fair-weather friend to yourself. When you take advantage of it, your high confidence can be an energetic force that propels you to enjoy your life and succeed in reaching your goals. It can also help you to make significant contributions to those around you, including your family, your friends, and your community. Use this positive force to make the most of every day, which will provide you with a sense of inner peace and happiness. Your confidence level The building blocks of confidence Self-esteem Perceived competence The five perceived competence scales How you present yourself Finding the more confident you Research behind the test For More Reading Tickle's test measures the two primary components of self-confidence: (1) Your self-esteem — how much you like yourself (2) Your perceived level of competence — how capable you feel The combination of these two elements makes up your overall confidence score. Looking into each of these pieces more deeply will help you understand why your confidence score is high. It will also help you uncover self-perceptions that may be affecting your confidence level. Take note that your confidence level is a very changeable measure. You may even be able to think of a time in your past when you were distinctly more or less confident than you are today. You can improve your confidence level by getting in touch with any negative feelings you have about yourself and striving to remove them. If you're not satisfied with your confidence score today, consider retaking this test after you've had time to practice the strategies our experts recommend. You may find that your results dramatically increase the second time around. All the same, realize that some of your more ingrained tendencies may take months or even years to change. Do your best to be patient and give yourself time to improve. When experts refer to self-esteem, they're talking about: How much you like yourself How kind you are to yourself How much acceptance you have for yourself Besides these important factors, self-esteem can affect how well you treat others and how your aspirations and fears tend to take shape. It is because self-esteem touches so many areas of your life that it is such a powerful force. Yet a notable quality regarding self-esteem is that it doesn't always have much to do with the reality of your life. Instead, it's based on your perceptions: How do you feel about who you are, what you do, and what you have? These are the questions that are important in determining self-esteem. You may have heard before that the presence of love creates more love. When it comes to self-esteem, the first person you need to love is yourself. Once you possess a genuine love for yourself as you are, you can more easily share your love and happiness with those around you. In most cases, those people will in turn become more open and loving toward you. In this way, the quality of your life can increase exponentially by simply thinking more highly of yourself. You don't necessarily need to be better at anything, nor do you have to spend a lot of money. You just need to begin making a commitment to yourself to appreciate your finer qualities and give yourself a break on your less admirable traits. This approach allows you to improve the areas of yourself that you want to be better, but to do so in a way that allows you to feel good about yourself every step of the way. What's Your Self-Esteem Score? 0 10 20 30 40 To help you better understand your present level of self-esteem, Tickle has employed the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale. This scale is one of the most widely used psychological instruments to measure this trait. The results of your personalized assessment are scored on a scale from 10 to 40, with 10 being a low score, indicating low self-esteem, and 40 being a high score, indicating high self-esteem. Your score on the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale is 33. This score is simply a reflection of your self-esteem at this point in time. If your self-esteem score is high, congratulations to you. However, if your score is lower than you would like it to be, you have no reason to feel shame or embarrassment. Remember, you have the power to change! By digging deeper into your self-esteem score, we can tell that one reason your self-esteem is high is because you have great self-talk habits. You appear to have a strong sense of self-worth that allows you to give yourself positive feedback and encouragement when you need it. In fact, you're likely the first person to give yourself a pat on the back when you've done something well. You also probably know how to tell yourself to "keep your chin up" in the rough times. Whether you're talking about yourself to others or just thinking to yourself, you seem to steer clear of negative words or ideas about yourself. After all, who needs all that negativity? The self-esteem spectrum Gayle and Judy are both stay-at-home moms. Judy loves this role and feels lucky to be living out her lifelong dream of raising her children. Because she enjoys and is proud of her life, she passes that love for herself onto her kids and the other people she encounters. She also proactively seeks out opportunities to deepen and strengthen her life's mission — raising happy and healthy children. Gayle, on the other hand, does not feel so positive about being a stay-at-home mom. She would rather be pursuing a career outside the home. However, she was brought up to believe that being home with her children was her duty. Gayle loves her kids and feels horrible about wanting to pursue other ambitions. She feels selfish and tells herself that she is a bad mother. Of course, none of this negative self-talk is true. This is simply Gayle's perception of herself and her life. Because Gayle has low self-esteem, she isn't as energized as she could be. She also misses out on the benefits of her current life and is often unpleasant to the people around her. Judy and Gayle represent two extremes of a similar life path. While Judy is fulfilled and feeling good about her life choices, Gayle is not. Instead, Gayle has accepted her unhappiness and turned the negativity in on herself in ways that are very damaging to her self-esteem. Ideally, Gayle should re-examine her priorities and find a way that she can feel better about herself. This could mean shifting the way she views her current lifestyle or adding a new, more fulfilling element to her life. Your confidence level The building blocks of confidence Self-esteem Perceived competence The five perceived competence scales How you present yourself Finding the more confident you Research behind the test For More Reading Since you were very young, you've been unknowingly creating a complex image of yourself that strongly impacts how you view yourself and your capabilities. In fact, you create the story of your life every day. You base this story on: The way you were brought up to feel about yourself The feedback you receive from people around you Comparisons you choose to make between yourself and others Your experiences with success and failure As a result, if someone interviewed you today, you would probably have reasonably firm opinions about your personal traits (e.g., "I have a great sense of humor"), your strengths and weaknesses (e.g., "I'm an excellent cook"), and the events that have shaped your life (e.g., "My older sisters were always mean to me for no reason"). However, the answers you would give are not facts. They are simply your interpretations. All the same, these beliefs can have a powerful impact on your present and future. Why perceived competence matters One reason your feelings about yourself are important is that people tend to seek out experiences that reinforce their beliefs about themselves. For example, imagine you are a high school student who believes yourself to be stupid. One day, you receive scores on two exams. One you passed, and the other you failed. Which test do you think you would give more weight to in the long run? Believe it or not, it's the test you failed. This is true because the test you failed reinforces what you already believe about yourself: that you are stupid. You would also likely find a way to write off the test you passed as a fluke, rather than giving yourself credit for a job well done. This behavior, too, would perpetuate your negative belief about yourself. Another way your beliefs can impact your day-to-day life is by affecting the way you present yourself to others. Experts have found that people often act and speak the way they feel about themselves. For example, if a woman didn't think she was very attractive, she might talk her looks down to her friends or make self-deprecating jokes about how ugly she is. She might also act like a wallflower at parties, thinking that no one would want to talk to her because she's not good-looking. These kinds of actions illustrate how negative beliefs can adversely affect how people choose to speak and behave. Realize that people will tend to treat you the way you believe you deserve to be treated. You might be thinking to yourself, "Well, that's ridiculous, why would I ever think that I deserve to be treated badly or be disrespected?" However, if you act like you're not a valuable person and put yourself down to others by saying negative things about yourself, don't be surprised if people treat you poorly. Your words and behaviors can become self-fulfilling prophecies. As general advice for improving your self-image and perceived competence, remember these three things: Accentuate the positive. Put your energy into emphasizing your better qualities rather than trying to be an unrealistically "perfect" person. Cut yourself some slack. Just because one incident goes badly, don't assume its result is determinant of how other situations in your life will turn out. Accept yourself as a whole person. Try not to be so judgmental of your less favorable qualities. Learn to love the entire package that is you. How did you score? On a personalized level, Tickle measured your perceived competence in five major areas to help you begin uncovering your beliefs about yourself and your capabilities. These areas were selected based on the attributes most often valued in Western society. They are intellectual competence, social competence, artistic or musical ability, athletic ability, and physical attractiveness. Feelings about your competence in each of these five areas is affected by your perception of how competent you are in a particular area, coupled with how important you think it is to be competent in that area. Below you'll find a detailed chart of what your personal results indicate, followed by advice to advance your level of competence. Intellectual Competence Social Competence Artistic/Musical Ability Athletic Ability Physical Attractiveness Your confidence level The building blocks of confidence Self-esteem Perceived competence The five perceived competence scales How you present yourself Finding the more confident you Research behind the test For More Reading Remember as you go through each one of your scores that this test is not designed to measure your actual level of competence in these five areas. It judges only how you feel about your competence in each one, because that's the factor that most closely affects your confidence level. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Your intellectual competence Intellectual competence deals with how mentally sharp you are, how sound your judgment is, and how rational you are when making decisions. Perceptions of intellectual competence can be expressed in positive terms, such as, "I consider myself a smart person," or negative terms like, "My ideas are stupid and worthless," and any range in between. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 You perceive your intellectual competence to be high, with a score of 10. This means that you tend to believe you can approach a variety of intellectual problems and succeed. You probably also enjoy being involved in abstract conversations or working through complicated problems using the strength of your mind. When you value what you're good at, your self-confidence soars. You appear to highly value intellectual competence — you think it's important to be smart, and you perceive yourself as an intelligent person. This combination indicates that you're likely very confident intellectually. As a result, you probably don't need the action steps listed below to improve your confidence in this area. Consider applying them as a tool to help you rethink negative perceptions you may have about yourself in other parts of your life. Rethink negative self-perceptions Because your confidence level is dependent on how you think about yourself, it's critical that you rid your personal language of unrealistic, vague, or generalized negative criticisms of yourself. These kinds of statements are hurtful and serve no real purpose in your self-improvement. Statements like "I never look good" or "I always say stupid things" are completely useless. They make you feel horrible about yourself and offer no path to self-betterment. In fact, when you hear hopeless words like these, they seem to be an end in themselves. But you can challenge your negative ideas. Instead of feeling low about yourself, talk back to these self-defeating perceptions. Ask yourself why. What is it exactly that causes you to think this way? The more specific you can make your criticisms, the more manageable they become, and the more solutions for turning around the perceptions will occur to you. For example, if you find yourself saying, "I'm always left out," ask yourself why you feel that way. Then try to come up with evidence that disputes your negative perception. Maybe it's truer to say, "I don't do very well in group social situations, but I'm really well liked when I talk to people one-on-one. Also, my friends often call to invite me to social activities." By better defining your statement, you've made it clear that it's only large group functions that you find difficult. You've also refuted the idea that you're "always left out." In fact, you've shown yourself that your friends actually request your presence with their invitations. Now you can simply decide that it's not important to you to be a social butterfly, or you can work to improve your ability to relate to people in larger gatherings. To free yourself from negative self-perceptions, try this: Think about the five major areas discussed in this report: intellectual competence, social competence, artistic or musical ability, athletic ability, and physical attractiveness. On a piece of paper, list your top five negative criticisms of yourself in each area, leaving a few blank lines below each criticism. Review your criticisms for gross generalizations. Omit words such as always, never, and totally. If you can't omit them, change them to words like sometimes and somewhat. Try to make the criticisms more specific. What is it about your behavior that makes you believe your negative criticism is true? Argue on the side of your negative criticism and try to prove its case. Take a deep breath and approach your negative criticism again. This time, try to prove it wrong. How are you better than your criticism? In what ways can you disprove it? Being as unemotional as possible, look at everything you've written about your negative self-perception. Consider both your arguments for and against continuing to believe in it. Underline the statements that you feel are most true. Finally, be honest with yourself about your weaknesses. Accept that you are flawed, but realize that you're probably not as bad off as you were originally making yourself out to be. If you decide it's important to you to improve a particular weakness, think about how you can take steps to change it. If you find that your shortcoming is not so important to change, that's fine, too. Just make sure you stop punishing yourself with negative thoughts when certain traits come to mind. Ellen was a smart woman whose education consisted solely of a high school diploma. However, Ellen's perceived level of intellectual competence was low. Ellen was married to a graduate student who would sometimes have study groups come to their house. On these occasions, Ellen felt she wasn't as smart as the students who were her guests. She based this feeling solely on the fact that she hadn't been to college herself. As a result, she was very shy around the groups. When she did sit in on discussions, she rarely said anything because she felt her opinions were less valuable than others'. Her husband consistently told her how intelligent he felt she was. Also, on the rare occasions when Ellen would speak up, study group members delighted in her contributions. However, because of Ellen's low confidence in her intelligence, she ignored this positive feedback and missed out on many opportunities to feel better about herself. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Your social competence Social competence centers on how well you interact with people, particularly in group settings, or how talented you are at cultivating and maintaining friendly relationships. For example, people's perceptions of their social competence can range from being very positive, "I am really good with people," or very negative, such as, "People always think I'm a loser." 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 You perceive your social competence to be high, with a score of 9. You're probably right at home in a wide variety of social situations. You may also love being around people or enjoy using your social talents to organize, to entertain, or to help others. You seem to highly value social competence and think it's important to be socially graceful. You also perceive yourself as a socially adept person. As a result, you're likely very confident in this area because you believe that what you are good at matters. In this way you're maximizing your level of self-confidence. Even though you may not want to improve yourself in this area, you can apply the action steps below to learn from your mistakes in areas where you feel less competent. Learn from your mistakes Mistakes can happen in an instant. Yet when these blunders happen, whether social mistakes or otherwise, people tend to browbeat themselves about their errors — sometimes for years to come. Holding on to this kind of memory may indicate that there is a lesson to be learned from it or a message to be received from your past mistake. To seek the wisdom that can be gained from a past mistake, try the following exercise: Choose a past mistake that you still think about — perhaps followed by a disgusted or regretful shake of your head. If you have not already done so, recognize that you can become aware of the consequences of your actions and make a promise to yourself not to repeat your mistake. Understand that you are not defined by any single event in your life. If you were insensitive or buffoonish on one occasion that stands out in your mind, consider other times when you have acted with sensitivity and grace. Let the negative incident be the exception to how you think about yourself, not the rule. Write a letter of forgiveness to yourself and anyone else who may have been affected by your actions. Remember to describe the incident, exactly as it happened. Explain why you acted in the way that you did at the time. Be gentle with yourself, remembering that you didn't know how the event was going to turn out. Now, try to forgive yourself unconditionally for your actions. That means that you can simply say, "I forgive myself," without following your statement with "I promise to..." You have already made promises. Now just try to tap into the healing power of unconditional forgiveness. Jeremy rarely ran in very fancy social circles, but when his college friend Brian invited him to be a guest at his black-tie wedding, Jeremy was happy to attend. When the day came, Jeremy felt kind of strange to be dressed in a tuxedo because he was more of a jeans-and-T-shirt kind of guy. But he was having fun and was happy for the change of pace. After the ceremony, Jeremy mingled with former college friends and strangers at the reception. Then the sit-down dinner was served. During the very first course, Jeremy managed to spill tomato soup all down the front of his tuxedo shirt. There was no way to get it out, and he was stuck dressed that way for the rest of the night. Jeremy knew from past incidents that he was kind of a klutz and had learned to make the best of it. Rather than get mad or be overly embarrassed by this social faux pas, Jeremy made it into a running joke. In fact, his mistake became a great icebreaker to begin conversations with people he didn't know. By accepting this error and being able to laugh it off, Jeremy was able to come away from the incident still feeling good about himself and the night. If he had become overly embarrassed and left the reception, he would have not only made himself feel worse than he needed to but also missed out on a great opportunity to connect with old friends and make new ones. Your confidence level The building blocks of confidence Self-esteem Perceived competence The five perceived competence scales How you present yourself Finding the more confident you Research behind the test For More Reading -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Your artistic or musical ability Artistic or musical ability involves how sensitive to art or beauty you are, how much you appreciate artistic or musical things, and how creative or skilled you are in these kinds of endeavors. The spectrum of perceptions of artistic or musical ability can include everything from "I am very creative" to "My singing voice is dreadful" and everything in between. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 You perceive your artistic or musical abilities to be high, with a score of 9. You likely fancy yourself a creative type and may enjoy using your artistic or musical talents to create beautiful things for self-expression. However, you don't tend to that think creativity is particularly important. Nor do you appear to really value artistic or musical abilities. At the same time, you perceive yourself as an artistic person. This unbalanced coupling suggests that you're probably less confident in this area than you could be. Self-confidence is decreased when you don't value the things you excel at. Although you probably feel content with your level of artistic or musical ability, try to acknowledge your artistic gift with a little self-praise from time to time. You may also want to consider the advice in the action steps that follow. They can help you to silence your inner critic at times when you're not appreciating your talents. Silence your inner critic We all have an inner critic. Also, the lower your confidence is in an area of your life, the more powerful your inner critic is likely to be. This is because your inner critic thrives on making you feel bad about yourself. When you reinforce the messages your inner critic sends you by not challenging your negative thoughts and criticisms, your critic becomes stronger. Now, the critic isn't all bad, and its intentions are not entirely without merit. Usually your inner critic is trying to alert you that there is something in your life that needs attention. It's kind of like a nag. When you come to understand why your inner critic is speaking up and begin to talk back — even negotiate — with your inner critic, you will regain power and begin to stop this very common confidence drainer. To uncover and silence your inner critic, try the following steps: Over the next five days, write down what your inner critic says to you when it pipes up. Don't worry if you don't record everything it says, but do make an effort to get most of it on paper so you can look at it later. You will recognize your inner critic's voice because it will tend to speak in generalized, simplistic, unforgiving terms. Statements like "If you don't work harder you are going to fail" or "Don't bother joining the baseball league; you're a horrible athlete," are good examples of an inner critic at work. After you've written down what your inner critic says for five days, look over all of the statements you've collected. It's hard to do, but try to look at them objectively and avoid letting them make you feel bad. Look for patterns. Can you match certain statements together to form a theme? For example, the statements "Don't even talk to that girl; she's way too cool for you" and "You always look like a fool when you try to dance" form a theme around feeling socially awkward. On a separate sheet of paper, write down each of the themes that your inner critic harps on. Include the top three criticisms that match each theme. Now look at each of the themes. Why is your inner critic trying to bring your attention to these areas? What is your critic's agenda? What is helpful in the message that your critic is sending you? If your inner critic were to tell you that you are socially awkward, it would be trying to protect you from embarrassment in social situations. It's likely that the critic was formed at some time in the past when you felt embarrassed in a social situation. Now it wants to protect you from repeating the experience. While the base intention is nice, the sinking feeling of inadequacy that the critic brings along is decidedly not nice. By recognizing why your inner critic exists, you're one step closer to gaining the benefit of your inner voice without having to accept the harsh tones of your inner critic. Talk back. Your inner critic is probably making unfounded generalizations about you. You might want to review the section above called "Rethink negative self-perceptions" for ways to challenge these claims. This time, start by saying, "Stop it!" or "Enough!" in your head when you hear your inner critic begin to harp on one of its familiar themes. Then calmly say something like, "I know why you are speaking up. I'm aware that there is something that needs my attention or a risk I may want to avoid." Then decide for yourself whether the risk is worth taking or if you want to spend your energy in the direction indicated by your inner critic. Take back the power to direct your life rationally, rather than always reacting to this inner voice. Finally, replace the inner critic's voice with positive action or thought. If you have found that your inner critic is overstating your weaknesses, remind yourself that you are stronger than it says you are. If your inner critic is nagging you to take action, silence it by doing something positive to benefit yourself — and make sure you acknowledge yourself for making positive change. Margaret had appreciated the arts her whole life, but it wasn't until she retired that she tried her hand at painting. Although she had never considered herself a very creative person, when her church started a painting group, Margaret decided to join. At first she was hesitant to get started, but the head of the group insisted that all participants just allow themselves to get something on paper without regard for the end product. Because of this instruction, Margaret was able to suppress her negative feelings about her artistic ability. She simply began to paint expressively and abstractly without worrying about being perfect. Soon she started to love her painting time — and her paintings! She knew that her work wasn't bound for a gallery anytime soon, but she appreciated how it captured her creativity and innermost thoughts. Because Margaret was able to silence her inner critic, she was able to find a new way to enjoy her life and express herself. She also came to feel better about her artistic ability. If Margaret had left the painting class after the first day when she was feeling tense and critical of her painting, she would never have reached this new level of personal power through creative expression. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Your athletic ability Athletic ability consists of how physically active or strong you are, as well as how skilled you are as an athlete. Perceptions of athletic ability can be expressed in positive terms, such as, "I rise to physical challenges with ease," or in negative terms like, "I'm always the worst player on the team." 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 You scored a 5 in this area, indicating that you perceive your athletic abilities to be about average. This means that while you generally think of yourself as an active individual, you may still feel overly challenged by some physical activities. You may also feel like your talent as an athlete is noticeably less developed than in many other people you know and wish that you could perform athletic feats with more ease. However, you don't really seem to value athletic talent or think that being physically active is important. If you couple these values with your vision of yourself as being mediocre athletically, it stands to follow that while your confidence level likely isn't too low in this area, it's not very high either. If you want to improve, try using the action steps below set small goals for yourself. They can help you rise to new heights with your athletic abilities or in other parts of your life. Over time, if your perception of yourself as an athlete increases, you might find that physical activity and athletics become of greater interest to you. Set small goals for yourself Not all goals have to be big and impressive. In fact, it's best if they're not. If all you have are complicated long-range plans that take weeks or even years to achieve, you may start to feel badly about yourself. This type of focus, while ambitious, can rob you of a daily sense of accomplishment. In addition, if you find yourself slipping into a period of low confidence, one of the best ways you can snap out of it is to do something — anything — that will make you feel rewarded that day. Once you do something that makes you feel proud, you'll gain the kind of energy that can help you continue to make life improvements. To begin setting achievable goals, try this: Start by making a list of the things you've done in the past year that make you feel good or proud of yourself. This could be anything from, "I have been a good friend" to "I started going on walks around my neighborhood in the morning sometimes." At times, just thinking about your positive accomplishments can make you feel good. Next, make a list of small, short-term projects that would make you feel good to complete. No task on your list should take longer than one to two hours. Try starting with things like "Clean out the refrigerator" or "Go to the gym" or "Make a collage." Do something! Choose one of the projects on your list and do it right away. If you're starting the project in a bad mood, don't persuade yourself that it would be better to sulk a little while longer before doing anything. Allow yourself to sulk while you are working on your project. Chances are, once your attention is on the project and you are nearing completion, you will start to feel better and not even want to continue feeling badly about yourself. Keep your list of small projects handy and start tasks when you're able to, especially any time you have the urge to get down on yourself or your accomplishments. Continue adding small projects as you think of them. That way you will always have something small you can do to give yourself a sense of accomplishment and lift your spirits. Remember that there's no rule that says you have to stop with one small project a day. If you have the energy and the time, do several tasks. The more you do, the more productive you'll feel and the better you'll begin to regard yourself and your abilities. One summer, Mary decided to become a great tennis player even though she'd always thought of herself as less athletic than most people. At her local clubhouse, she found a very talented woman to play with who could give her some pointers. During their first game, Mary was happy to get tips on improving her game. But after losing several sets, she began to feel overwhelmed and defeated. Mary became irritated by the more experienced player's advice, even though she'd asked for it. Mary even started silently criticizing the woman's appearance. By the end of the day, Mary had convinced herself that she'd never be any good as a tennis player and was about to hang up her racquet. However, when she got back to the locker room, a friendly woman approached her and complimented Mary on giving it her best shot. After talking with her for a while, Mary recognized that it takes a long time to learn a new skill and that she was being too hard on herself. She felt a little embarrassed about her poor treatment of the experienced player who was just trying to help but decided not to beat herself up about it. She went back to the clubhouse the following week with a new approach, more realistic expectations, and a strong belief that she could improve her game with effort. Mary's perception of herself as an athlete had shifted, and this is what will make it possible for her to improve. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Your physical attractiveness Physical attractiveness deals with how beautiful or handsome you are, along with how likely you are to turn heads with your pure animal magnetism. People's perceptions of their physical attractiveness can be expressed in a wide variety of ways, from the most positive terms ("I am gorgeous") to the most self-defeating ("I look awful"). 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 You perceive your physical attractiveness to be about average, with a score of 5. This means that you tend to think of yourself as a moderately attractive, but also can feel a little plain or unfashionable at times. Chances are you also feel that no matter what adjustments you make to your looks, you'll never be the most attractive person you know. You don't seem to really value physical attractiveness, and you may believe that people place too much emphasis on their looks. Because you don't think being good-looking is that important and perceive yourself to be of average attractiveness, your confidence level in this area probably isn't suffering too much. Still, it could be higher. If you'd like to feel better about your appearance or about other areas, check out the following action steps. They can help you learn to use visualization to better leverage your strengths. You might be surprised to find that as your self-perception of your physical attractiveness increases, being good-looking becomes a trait that gains more value to you. Use positive visualization Visualization involves focusing your mind on positive imagery to help you bring the things you really want into your life. Although it's really nothing more than a disciplined form of daydreaming, visualization is one of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal. It can help motivate you and can create positive change in your life. One way to use visualization is to focus your thoughts on positive events or feelings from your past. For example, imagine an acquaintance you'd always had always had a crush on who went out of their way one day to compliment you on your smile. You could replay that moment in your head again and again at times when you needed to feel confident, or needed a boost to your self-image. By giving yourself a chance to bask in the glow of a past happiness or success, you create a wonderful form of positive reinforcement. By regularly practicing visualization, you become much more likely to repeat the behaviors that led you to your happiness or achievements in the first place. In order to fully harness the potential of visualization, you also need to know how to turn negative visualizations into positive ones. If you walk into a room of strangers and feel that you are dressed inappropriately, or simply aren't as good-looking as them, it will show. Remember that your harsh perception of yourself relative to others will be projected in everything you do. Instead, avoid thinking of yourself in a negative manner. Think back to a time when someone complimented your looks, then grab hold to that moment as you walk through the room. Now, your positive attitude will rub off on others, and they will respond by treating you based on that confidence you've drawn on from past experiences. Another valuable way to use visualization is to imagine the things you'd like to have or experience in the future. For example, if you're someone who isn't happy with your appearance, you could imagine yourself walking into a party full of attractive people and turning every head in the room with your good looks. You could also envision the most beautiful person at the party approaching you to have a conversation or ask you to dance. Visualizations like this one won't suddenly turn you into a supermodel, but over time they can change the way you carry yourself so you become more attractive to others. By dreaming of new possibilities, you allow yourself to remove mental barriers that may keep you from the things you want. Have you ever heard the expression “If you can imagine it, you can achieve it”? That's what this kind of visualization is all about. Visualization gives you license to wish for the things you really want, and to create the positive mental patterns that can help you get them. Paul was a reasonably good-looking person by most common beauty standards, but he didn't feel attractive. He had lost confidence in his appearance ever since he'd put on a few extra pounds. Because he had become overly critical of himself, he felt that no one on earth would find him attractive. As a result, he didn't smile very much. He'd even stopped spending much time grooming himself, feeling that it was wasted effort. One day, much to his surprise, Paul found himself being pursued by a woman named Sandy who wanted to date him. He agreed to go to dinner with her but was very nervous that she wouldn't really be attracted to him. He didn't want to end up being rejected because of his looks, and during their first date, he told Sandy as much. Because she had felt unattractive herself in the past, Sandy was very sensitive to his feelings. Now, after dating for a little over a year, Paul has started to feel much more attractive. Sandy encourages him with compliments and has helped him to feel more attractive — even sexy. As a result, he spends more time on his personal appearance and behaves more confidently. Yet, the only thing that has really changed is Paul's self-perception as a good-looking man. Your confidence level The building blocks of confidence Self-esteem Perceived competence The five perceived competence scales How you present yourself Finding the more confident you Research behind the test For More Reading As we've discussed throughout this report, your confidence doesn't depend on how good or bad you are at something. It's almost wholly dependent on your self-perception. However with that said, realize that not all people always act according to their self-perceptions. In fact, the people in your life whom you view as being the most confident probably pretend to be more self-assured than they actually are, at least on occasion. Very few people are highly confident in all areas of their life. As a result, some individuals choose to put up a front when they feel unconfident, rather than let other people in on their weaknesses. This is especially true in the business world. Have you ever watched someone get up in front of a group of people and give a fantastically polished presentation, only to confide in you later that they're terrified of public speaking? This false projection of confidence may seem untruthful, but it can actually provide just the momentum you need to get yourself through times when you feel unsure, overwhelmed, or afraid. Based on your test results, when it comes to letting people believe that you are more confident than you are, you tend to act differently depending on the situation. Sometimes you're honest about your abilities — or lack thereof. Other times you hide your weaknesses by letting people get the impression that you're better at something than you actually are. If you maintain a good sense of when it's appropriate to reveal your faults and when it's all right to hide them, you're not likely to sell yourself short or be off-putting to others. However, if you pretend to be better than you really are too often, you may come off as arrogant, or worse, as a liar. Alternately, if you're too open about your faults, people around you may take them to heart and treat you accordingly. Understand that you're probably much more aware of the scope and depth of your faults than anyone else is and know that it's fine — even beneficial — to keep some of those details to yourself. While you may wish to come away from this test with instantly improved confidence, that's not the way this kind of change happens. It will take some time and sincere effort on your part to permanently improve the way you feel and think about yourself. But it doesn't have to be a chore. On the contrary, this improvement can become an exciting part of your life. It can allow you to focus on yourself and can also become a guide that impacts the ways you change and grow. If you develop the kind of good habits described in this report, including: avoiding negative self-talk focusing on your strengths encouraging self-love visualizing ways to improve your future you will naturally begin to lead a more richly rewarding life. Keep in mind that you're a unique individual with your own special blend of excellence and faults. The objective of your quest for improved confidence should not be to become the very best in all areas. No one can be the best at everything. Be honest with yourself about who you are. Gaining self-confidence is really about connecting with your strengths and learning to actively enjoy them. Accept that you might not be good at some things but also acknowledge that you're likely very good at many others. Find out what makes you feel good, and do it over and over again.

Merritt, based on your responses, the brightest color in your aura is White Contrary to popular myth, auras are actually multi-colored energy fields that can be divided into seven primary layers. Having White as your brightest color means that the seventh, or Divine, layer of your aura is the most vibrant. The Divine is the outermost layer of the aura, and its vibrancy indicates that you have an exceptional love of life, which stems directly from your deep connection to the universe. You're an open channel for the cosmos, and this infuses your aura with a divine energy. Your aura impacts all aspects of your life. For instance, having a bright Divine layer means that likely you have a clear spiritual purpose. Thus, your ideal job would likely involve something that allows you to fulfill this purpose and remain connected to the greater forces in life. You would not likely be satisfied working a job that compromised your integrity or kept you from doing what you feel you're in this life to do. In your love life, you likely seek a soul mate — someone who also is equally connected to divine forces and who is able to connect with you on a profound spiritual level. You're likely open to receiving the energy of your partner, and when aptly paired your romantic partnership can provide you with a physical manifestation of divine energy. The brightness of your Divine layer has a deep impact on your overall well being, in that you receive much energy from the universe and this allows you to experience a deep love and fulfillment in life. You feel nourished by your connection to that which is greater than you, and this is a boundless source of energy that will never fail you. Your aura reading The layers of your aura Aura quick reference The history behind the aura reading Aura Layer Aura Color Etheric Red Emotional Orange Mental Yellow Intuitional Green Atmic Blue Monadic Violet Divine White Each layer of your aura radiates a different color. The brighter the light emanating from each layer, the healthier your aura, the better you'll feel in mind, body, and spirit. Following is your personalized Aura Reading, explaining how healthy each layer of your aura is. We'll look at each layer of your aura in sequence, from the first or innermost layer, to the seventh or outermost layer. For layers that aren't bright, try the corresponding Take Actions to enhance and expand your aura. The First, or Etheric Layer, is Red The Etheric layer of your aura is bright. Vitality emanates from this first core layer of your aura, which is associated with the physical body. Its vibrancy indicates you have far fewer physical ailments than most, leaving you feeling strong and healthy. A bright Etheric layer indicates a positive connection to your body, which in turn provides the optimal vehicle for your spirit to express itself and for you to gain knowledge and insight. Heal Your Aura with Color When the colors of your aura are faded, you experience this as emotional or physical distress or even illness. To keep your aura strong and bring in the qualities you need in your life, you can easily and quickly try these various color therapies: Hang pieces of colored cloth or paper. Wear colored cloths. Wear gemstones in the color you need. Fill a colored glass with water, place it in the window for several hours, and then drink this water. Sit in a stream of colored light for 30 minutes a day for several days (using a colored light bulb or shining light through a colored transparency). You can close your eyes and sense which color you might be needing, or you can use this condensed chart to determine which colors your aura needs: Color Use for Yellow Stimulates the mind; energizes muscles; combats depression; creates lust for life. Orange Healthy lungs; good digestion; increases thyroid; heightens insight; stimulates creativity and enthusiasm. Red Brings warmth and energy; energizes the heart, organs, and circulation; increases sexual desire. (Note: Never use for cancer treatment, as red stimulates cell growth.) Magenta Strengthens your sense of life's purpose. Pink Heals grief and sadness; connects you to your emotions. Green Provides emotional and mental harmony and balance; heals kidneys, heart, and hormonal imbalances; harmonizes digestive tract; brings peace. Blue Reduces inflammation; relieves headaches; calms strong emotions; brings tranquility. Purple Heals melancholy; encourages spiritual insight and renewal; brings sleep; soothes stress; detoxifies the spirit. The Second, or Emotional Layer, is Orange The Emotional layer of your aura is bright. This second layer of your aura surrounds your physical body most closely, and its vibrancy provides you with exceptional abilities to use your feelings as your mental, physical, and spiritual guides. You're more likely to use your feelings than reason to make decisions on a daily basis, and your deep emotional connection helps you to stay in touch with your intrinsic human value. Guide Your Aura with Positive Intentions It's not just what you do that matters, it's what you mean to do. When you intentionally set your mind to feel positively and do good in the world, your aura will immediately begin to gather energy and become brighter. Here's how to guide your aura by instilling positive intentions: Choose an area of your life that is causing you emotional discomfort. This could be a relationship in which you're unhappy with your own behavior, or a situation you need inner guidance with, or a pattern of behavior that you use to avoid your true emotions. Sit in a quiet space and close your eyes. Focus on your breathing, and with each breath draw in a feeling of calm and strength. Allow your mind to go to the issue at hand, and consider how you'd rather behave. Now think to yourself, "I'm setting my intentions to…." and fill in the rest of the sentence. For example, if you find yourself needing to smoke or have a drink when things get tough, you might think, "I'm setting my intentions to take an easy walk each time I'm confronted with difficult emotions." Give yourself the power and permission to respect your intentions. Doing so will bring positive energy and light into your aura. The Third, or Mental Layer, is Yellow The Mental layer of your aura is bright. This is the third layer out from the core of your aura, and its brightness gives you excellent abilities in engaging in logical, concrete thinking. You tend to be particularly open-minded and you enjoy exposure to new ideas, which positively impacts your attitude toward life. Your optimism most likely brings you success when you experiment with a variety of skills and occupations. Strengthen Your Aura with Positive Thinking Your energy follows your thoughts, and responds immediately to your positive intentions. Thus, one positive thought immediately creates positive energy, which in turn strengthens your aura. A regular practice of positive thinking can lead to a bright and expansive aura. Here are some positive thoughts that you can use — whether in difficult moments, in response to persistent negative thoughts, or simply as a regular practice — to enhance your aura: I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself. I can do this. I am worthy of love and respect. Life is good. I'm a good person. The secret to using positive thinking is to come up with sentences that don't use conditional statements. For instance, instead of "Life would be good if I could just get that promotion," your aura would be better served by thinking, "Life is good," and "I can get that promotion." The Fourth, or Intuitional Layer, is Green The Intuitional layer of your aura is bright. The light emanating from this forth layer of your aura provides you with extraordinary abilities to engage in abstract thinking. It is likely that others come to you for your insight, as you have a refined intuitional sense and your gut instinct rarely leads you astray. Your intuition, when put to proper use, also helps you stay clear of dangerous and unhealthy situations. Expand Your Aura with Visualization You can use your mind any time to strengthen your aura. You can visualize (in your mind's eye) your aura expanding, or you can use this exercise to visualize with color: Choose a color, either one that you feel drawn to, or one from the color chart provided earlier in this report. Close your eyes, and visualize colored light streaming into your body through the top of your head, letting it fill you and surround you. Imagine that you're breathing in that color. If you choose, you can direct the colored breath to the areas of your body that need it most. The Fifth, or Atmic Layer, is Blue The Atmic layer of your aura is bright. This gives you an exceptionally strong will. You are also very charismatic which draws others to you. You're persistent in your pursuits, and because of this you likely feel that your life is headed in the right direction. Protect Your Aura From Outside Energy Have you ever met someone new and instantly liked or disliked them? You may feel like some people have "good vibes," while others may have "bad vibes." You feel this way because you're sensing someone's aura, or energy. Whenever you come into contact with someone, but especially when you share physical contact, such as a casual touch, a sexual encounter, or body work, your auric fields actually interact. When someone has good vibes, this can enhance your own aura, giving you a good feeling or burst of energy. But you also have to protect your aura from those whose energy doesn't enhance yours. Whenever you're going into a new or troubling situation, or a situation that involves someone whom you know can interfere with your own positive energy, you can prepare yourself with these simple steps: Imagine that there's a clear bubble surrounding you. You can see out of the bubble, others can see in, but the bubble is only semi-permeable. When others send negative energy your way, or you simply feel like you're absorbing their stress, mentally close the bubble and don't let their energy in. If you sense that it's safe and desirable to take in some of that person's energy, you can open up that bubble and allow their energy in and yours out. If at anytime you're in a truly toxic, abusive, or dangerous situation, you can also blacken your bubble, allowing nothing in and nothing out. The Sixth, or Monadic Layer, is Violet The Monadic layer of your aura is bright. The vibrancy of this sixth layer of your aura provides you with a profound sense of peace and purity, which radiates from your aura. You see your purpose clearly, and that has allowed you to make excellent choices in many areas of your life. As long as you're on the path to fulfilling your life's purpose, you'll enjoy a serenity that nourishes your mind, body, and soul. Maintain Your Aura through Regular Maintenance Just like brushing your teeth everyday, your energy body also needs regular care. One way to maintain your aura is to make sure you stay grounded. While it may seem counterintuitive, being grounded, or rooted to the earth, actually makes it easier and healthier for you to access your spiritual self. Pick a time each day when you'll ground yourself. An ideal time is in the morning, just as you're getting out of bed. Close your eyes and imagine that roots are growing from your feet and the base of your spine directly into the earth. Once you feel firmly connected to the earth, imagine a golden light streaming into the top of your head and flowing through your body, into the roots, and then into the ground. Inhale and then exhale deeply, opening your eyes and going about your day. You can also use this exercise whenever you feel thrown off your center. The Seventh, or Divine Layer, is White The Divine layer of your aura is bright. The vibrancy of this outermost layer of your aura bestows you with an exceptional love for life, which stems directly from your deep connection to the universe. You're an open channel for the cosmos, and this infuses your aura with a divine energy. You feel nourished by your connection to that which is greater than you. Enhance Your Aura with Prayer or Meditation Connecting to the collective energies in the universe can be a great source of strength and serenity. Praying regularly or engaging in a daily meditation practice can infuse your aura with light and energy, providing you with a great love of life. Here's one meditation you might try: Set aside at least ten minutes where you can sit in uninterrupted silence. Begin by closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing. With each inhale, feel yourself breathing in the collective love of the universe. With each exhale, feel yourself returning your own love to the collective cosmos. Continue for five to ten minutes, imagining your breathing as a constant cycle of rejuvenation and flowing love. Your aura reading The layers of your aura Aura quick reference The history behind the aura reading The following chart summarizes the indicators of health or illness of a layer of an aura. You can use this as a quick reference when you're having health problems, allowing you to see which layer of your aura needs attention. Layer Benefits of Health Symptoms of Illness Etheric Vitalizes the body, expresses the spirit Illness, aches, and pains Emotional Feelings are mental and spiritual guides Irrational behavior Mental Positive attitude, clear concrete thinking Rigidity Intuitional Conduit to higher self, abstract thinking Self-pity Atmic Great powers, joy, bliss Power trips; excessive ego Monadic Allows the soul to express itself Apologetic, unworthy of life Divine Connected to the divine, great love of life Doubt existence of the divine Your aura reading The layers of your aura Aura quick reference The history behind the aura reading All living things have auras, from the tiniest amoebas to the largest elephants. Auras are an electromagnetic, bio-energy field that surrounds and animates your physical body. Another way to think of your aura is as your life force or spiritual field. And the greater and stronger your life force or energy is, the brighter your aura will be. The vibrancy of your aura reflects all that's crucial to who you are — your physical health, emotional well-being, personality, and mental activity. The aura is a three-dimensional, egg-shaped energy field made up of seven overlapping layers. Each layer has a different vibration or frequency, which creates different colors and patterns in the aura. While simplified explanations of auras discuss them as having one solid and steady color, auras actually have multiple colors that change all the time. When you are stressed, traumatized by accidents or abuse, or scared, your aura can become thinned, with dark spots or holes, which can cause emotional or physical distress or illness. Healing and strengthening your aura can revitalize your mind, body, and spirit. A healthy aura extends further out from your body, indicating that you have powerful and plentiful energy. Chakras are conductors for energy to move through the aura, as well as the vehicle through which the aura communicates with the physical body. The health and functioning of your chakras directly impacts your aura. To discover how well energy is flowing through each of your seven chakras, take Tickle's Chakra Test now! Your aura reading The layers of your aura Aura quick reference The history behind the aura reading You probably sense people's aura, or energy, a good deal of the time. When they walk into a room, without saying a word you may sense if they're upset, at peace, centered, in chaos, rushed, or distracted. Being able to sense other people's energy is the first step to seeing someone's aura. To practice this skill, try this exercise: Have a friend sit across from you, and close your eyes. Have your friend remember a time when he or she felt a strong emotion, but don't have them tell you what they're thinking or feeling. Breathe in and imagine a line of light connecting your forehead to your friend's forehead. Ask yourself what colors your friend's aura is, and see if you can imagine it in your mind's eye. See if you can sense what they're thinking or feeling. Open your eyes, and report the colors and emotions you were sensing. With practice, you should improve your ability to sense someone's aura. Then you'll be ready to move on to seeing your own aura. Here are some tips on how to do that: Practice in the daylight, when it's easier to see auras. Stand in front of a mirror in a bright room, with a neutral-colored wall behind you. Relax your eyes and let them stray a little out of focus. Gently sway from side to side. Staring at the outline of your head and shoulders, you should soon be able to see a soft light surrounding you. That's your aura!

Merritt, the recurrent theme of your dream life is Empowerment You're dreaming about antagonistic people and situations that are threatening to diminish your personal power. While you sleep, your mind gravitates toward scenarios in which something is making you feel scared or confused. Your dreams tell stories of combating that which brings you emotional pain. This means that in some area of your life, you're searching for ways to regain your sense of security and certainty. There are a wide variety of dreams that fall into the category of Empowerment. You may dream about being chased by someone or something dangerous. Many people dream about falling from a high place, or being just on the edge of falling. Getting lost, perhaps in an unfamiliar place, is also common in Empowerment dreams. Empowerment is your overarching dream theme. Tickle's research has identified seven universal dream themes, including Empowerment. To learn more about your scores on all seven themes, and what your results reveal about your waking life, read on. What's Your Dream Theme? The 7 Universal Dream Themes The Ten Most-Common Recurring Dreams Remembering Dreams History Behind the Test For More Reading The 7 Universal Dream Themes While the surrounding details of dreams are different from country to country and person to person, millions dream each night about falling, flying, making love, or finding themselves naked in a public place, to name just a few of the most common dreams. Tickle's unique dreams research has identified 7 universal dream themes, each based on common dreams experienced by people all over the world. Your personalized results for each theme reveal information from the deepest recesses of your unconscious mind, as well as the state of your waking life. Theme 1: Mastery Mastery dreams are about maximizing opportunities and achieving well-deserved success. They involve scenarios in which you're doing something well or mastering particular skills and talents. Having dreams with the theme of Mastery suggests that in some area of your waking life, you are adequately prepared and things are working out just as you really want. Your Mastery Score There are many dream scenarios that would fall under the theme of Mastery. Following are the three most common Mastery dreams and their interpretations. Skillful Driving These are dreams that involve having a positive experience while driving or navigating a car. In these dreams you can go anywhere you wish. You may be on an adventurous road trip with friends, or out on the open highway enjoying your own company. Whatever the specific scenario, you're in a car and you're feeling good and in control of the situation. Here's one example of a dream about skillful driving: You find yourself driving down a winding country highway. The windows are down, and the air outside is warm, and the sun is shining brightly. You take each curve skillfully and easily, and you feel completely confident behind the wheel. Just up ahead, a small animal runs onto the road. Rather than panicking, you smoothly steer around it, and go confidently on your way. Psychologists generally believe that dreams involving skillful driving and other pleasant car travel, such as the example above, are a sign that things are going well in life. You're in the proverbial driver's seat of your life, in control of where you're headed and able to enjoy the ride. The following test question relates to car travel. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've dreamt of driving skillfully or of being able to stop the car in time to avoid a collision. Of the people who have had this dream: 28% Had it once or twice 8% Had it three or four times 4% Had it repeatedly Good Test Performance Regardless of whether or not you're in school, you may find yourself having the common dream about taking a test. Perhaps you're sitting in a schoolroom, filling in multiple choice answers or responding to essay questions. Or maybe your test is at your workplace, or another unusual setting, and you get positive feedback that is equivalent to a big red A+. Whatever the exact scenario, you are ready for the test, and your performance is stellar. Here's one example of a dream about good test performance: You sit down at the desk, pencil in hand to take a test. You're surrounded by others who are doing the same. When you begin to read the questions, you realize that you know all of the answers. Relieved, you begin flying through the test, marking your answers, knowing for sure that you're acing it. You finish well before everyone else, and turn in your test with confidence. According to dream theorists, making the grade on a test means that you feel well prepared in your life. When you have a dream like the one above, your unconscious mind is revealing your confidence and pleasure in feeling ready for life's challenges. The following test question relates to test performance. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've had dreams in which I've done well on a test. Of the people who have had this dream: 29% Had it once or twice 9% Had it three or four times 3% Had it repeatedly Positive Travel Experiences Going on a trip is a symbolically rich dream scenario. Whether you're dreaming of buying tickets, packing your bags, or being en route to your destination, the details can reveal a good deal about how you're feeling about your present and your near-future in your waking life. Here's one example of a dream about positive travel experiences: You're in a yellow taxi cab, on the way to the airport. There's a lot of traffic, but you're not worried because you've allowed yourself plenty of time. You make it to the airport gate with loads of time to spare, and they whisk you right onto the plane, setting you up in first-class comfort. In dreams such as this one, a trip represents a new possibility in your life. Your relationship to the journey in your dream indicates how you're feeling about your opportunities. Exciting, pleasurable, and smooth travel is a sign of feeling excited about the positive opportunities that are coming up in your life. The following test question relates to travel experiences. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've had dreams in which I'm packed and ready to go with plenty of time to spare. Of the people who have had this dream: 19% Had it once or twice 4% Had it three or four times 2% Had it repeatedly Theme 2: Life's Rewards In dreams about Life's Rewards, you may look good and feel good, and you see yourself in a favorable light. These dreams tell stories of improvement, either in yourself or in the outcome of your endeavors. Dreaming about Life's Rewards means that in some are of your life, your hard work and preparation are paying off, and you're giving yourself permission to accept the benefits you deserve. Following are three of the most common dreams that fall under the thematic umbrella of Life's Rewards. Pleasing Appearance and Attire In these dreams, you're pleased with your clothing or something special about the way you look. Perhaps you find the perfect shoes for a job interview, or the wedding attire that suits you just right. You may don an elaborate or stylish costume, or simply admire the way a simple shirt looks on you. Whatever the attire, you like the way you look, and you feel happy about your appearance to the outside world. Here's one example of a dream about pleasing appearance and attire: You step onto the crowded dance floor, feeling great about the way you look. Everyone around you is attractive, and they take notice as you start to move with the music. As you dance, you enjoy the way your clothes move with your body — they fit perfectly, and flatter you in a way that makes you feel confident. When you see that sexy stranger eyeing you from across the dance floor, you feel so good you don't hesitate to move closer for a better look. It is commonly agreed upon by psychologists that dreaming about feeling good about your appearance and your attire is a sign that you're feeling attractive and desirable in your waking life. You're pleased with the way you're presenting yourself, and you anticipate a positive reaction from others. The following test question relates to your appearance in your dreams. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've dreamt of shopping and finding the perfect outfit for a special occasion. Of the people who have had this dream: 24% Had it once or twice 7% Had it three or four times 4% Had it repeatedly Material Gains and Rewards These types of dreams involve scenarios about material gains and rewards. Perhaps your house or other material possessions are improved. Or you may receive an elaborate gift, or buy yourself something nice. It might also be that something you lost in the past or was stolen from you is suddenly returned, in perfect or even improved condition. Here's one example of a dream about material gains and rewards: You come home to find a large package on your doorstep. It's wrapped elaborately in golden paper. You open it, and it is filled with treasures of all kinds. It's everything you've ever wanted. In this dream, the gift represents yourself or your life. Dreams in which you're lavished with gifts are a sign that you feel like better things are coming to you than in the past. This dream indicates that in your physical or emotional health, or in a particular area of your life, you feel like things are improving. The following test question relates to material gains and rewards. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've had dreams in which I received jewelry as a gift. Of the people who have had this dream: 23% Had it once or twice 6% Had it three or four times 2% Had it repeatedly Giving a Stellar Performance In these dreams, you may be up on stage, singing in pitch-perfect tune or reciting your lines flawlessly. Or you've hit the winning homerun, scored a key touchdown, or excelled in another sporting event. Not only do you enjoy your performance, but others express their appreciation with praise, congratulations, or applause. Here's one example of a dream about giving a stellar performance: You stand at the podium in front of an attentive audience. As you relay a passionate speech, all from memory, your words are heartfelt and perfectly delivered. When you reach your conclusion, the crowd jumps up, roaring with cheers and applause. According to dream analysts, dreams like the one above indicate that you feel well prepared to take on the challenges in your life. Some people dream about excelling in an actual event before it happens, while others' dreams may be more symbolic of a general feeling of being ready for whatever life brings. The following test question relates to giving a performance. The red arrow indicates your answer to the test in comparison to how others answered the question. I've had dreams in which others applauded or congratulated me for a good performance. Of the people who have had this dream: Of the people who have had this dream: 32% Had it once or twice 10% Had it three or four times 6% Had it repeatedly Theme 3: Order and Balance Order and Balance dreams gravitate toward scenarios in which you are coping with difficulties and their consequences. As they tell stories of combating external confusion and disorder, these dreams indicate that something feels just out of your control. They are a sign that in some area of your life, you desire a way to rein in the external chaos that's impacting you and once again feel on top of things. Following are three of the most common dreams that fall under the thematic umbrella of Order and Balance. The Powerful Forces of Nature Fires, floods, winds, earthquakes — these and other great forces of nature are the focus of these types of dreams. You're surrounded by powerful, epic forces that are beyond your control. These disasters, which may also be manmade disasters, can feel catastrophic in the context of the dream. Here's one example of a dream about the powerful forces of nature: You're inside, when suddenly you notice water trickling in underneath the doorway. When you go to investigate, you realize that more and more water is coming in, through the windows and walls, up from the floor. You open the door, only to be confronted with a huge flood of water. As you struggle to swim outside, the water level rises, covering everything in the vicinity. You must swim to survive. For some people, troubling dreams such as this example dream may occur during times of acute stress, though dream psychologists believe that some people have these recurring dreams over longer periods of time as well. These disaster dreams signify a feeling of chaos in some area of your past or present waking life, as well as a desire to regain a sense of order. The following test question relates to the powerful forces of nature. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've dreamt of destructive, raging fires. Of the people who have had this dream: 27% Had it once or twice 9% Had it three or four times 5% Had it repeatedly Damage to Property or Possessions These dreams center around extensive damage being done to your house or another building, or some other valued possession. In them, you may be trying to escape or save others from danger, or something precious to you may suddenly disappear, causing you great distress. Here's one example of a dream about damage to property or possessions: You wake up in the middle of the night to the smell of smoke. You realize that one of the rooms in your house is on fire. As you scramble to gather your most precious possessions, you realize that family photos were in the room that's on fire. After the fire is put out, you find the ashes of these pictures, charred and sopping wet. Dream analysts see the possessions in these dreams as a representation of yourself. When valued property is damaged in a dream, such as the one above, it may symbolize your feelings in your waking life that a relationship or some part of you feels damaged or destroyed. It may also be a sign that you're worried that some part of your identity is at risk. The following test question relates to property or possessions. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've dreamt that extensive damage was done to my house. Of the people who have had this dream: 31% Had it once or twice 8% Had it three or four times 3% Had it repeatedly Car Trouble or Danger Dreams about dangerous or defective cars or other moving vehicles can take on any number of scenarios. You're the driver or passenger, and the brakes go out, the steering wheel comes off, you're running out of gas, or you're in danger of running off the road. Sometimes control of the vehicle is regained in the dream, other times it is not. Here's one example of a dream about car trouble or danger: You're driving down a long stretch of highway. At first, everything seems fine. But gradually you begin to notice that the car is picking up speed. You take your foot off of the accelerator, but the car doesn't slow down. As you begin to pump the brakes, the car goes faster and faster, and you notice that the other cars are slowing down up ahead. Scenarios such as this one indicate that you're feeling out of control in some area of your life, according to dream analysts. You may feel worried about how things are moving forward, concerned that you're powerless over your own life, or, if someone else is in the passenger seat, fearful that someone else is calling the shots for you — and not doing the greatest job of it. The following test question relates to car trouble. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've had dreams involving unsafe or bad road conditions. Of the people who have had this dream: 35% Had it once or twice 13% Had it three or four times 5% Had it repeatedly Theme 4: Empowerment Empowerment dreams are often about antagonistic people and situations that are threatening to diminish your personal power. They involve scenarios in which something is making you feel scared or confused or is causing you emotional pain. These dreams are a sign that you're searching for ways to regain your sense of security and certainty. Following are three of the most common dreams that fall under the thematic umbrella of Empowerment. Being Pursued or Threatened Something or someone is following you. You may try to hide or run, for fear that your pursuer will try to attack or harm you. You may know the person who is chasing you, or it may be a stranger. In some variations of this dream, the pursuer is an animal or an unseen threatening force. Something or someone is trying to take away your safety and autonomy. Here's one example of a dream about being pursued or threatened: You're running through the dark woods, your feet crunching over dead leaves and fallen branches. Someone is behind you, chasing you through the trees. You don't know what they want, but you're too afraid to find out. You see a clearing in the woods, where there are people and sunlight. As you run for it, the person is getting closer and closer. You trip and fall down to the ground. These sometimes terrifying dreams symbolize some threat to your personal power and safety in your waking life, according to psychologists. Someone or something is trying to overpower you, control you, or harm you in some way. In these dreams, the exact nature of your pursuer and the results of the chase are clues to what is troubling you and whether you think you can gather your resources to defeat it. The following test question relates to being pursued or threatened. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've dreamt of being chased or attacked. Of the people who have had this dream: 27% Had it once or twice 30% Had it three or four times 37% Had it repeatedly Feeling Trapped In one of these dreams, you may be lost, or struggling to find your way out of an uncomfortable situation. Perhaps you're so terrified that you're frozen, unable to get yourself away from danger. In these dreams, you may feel trapped, or literally be trapped, in a prison or other kind of cage. In some way, you feel unable to free yourself from your situation. Here's one example of a dream about feeling trapped: You're in your home, when you hear someone open the front door. You call out to ask who it is, and when you get no response, you know it's someone dangerous. You think to yourself, "Run out the back door!" but your feet won't move. You look down, only to find that your feet are literally glued to the floor. Psychologists believed that dreams in which you're paralyzed, lost, or trapped represent a state of confusion in your waking life. You may not know how to solve a situation, or feel unsure of what decision to make. You may literally not understand the choices before you, or feel emotionally unsure of what decision is right for you. This state of confusion is keeping you from accessing your personal power and moving forward in some way. The following test question relates to feeling trapped. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've had dreams in which I've tried to move, only to find myself paralyzed. Of the people who have had this dream: 34% Had it once or twice 18% Had it three or four times 21% Had it repeatedly Falling Nightmares about falling are incredibly common, in both children and adults. You may dream that you're plummeting to the ground, or perched at the edge of a cliff or other high place. Some people actually hit the ground in their dreams, while others wake up before that happens. Dreams about sinking in water often have similar components and meanings to falling dreams. Here's one example of a dream about falling: You stand on the rooftop of a skyscraper, looking down. You can barely hear the traffic below, and the people on the sidewalk look like ants, scurrying every which way. You feel afraid to fall, and think to yourself that you need to move back from the ledge. As you start to move, you lose your footing, tumbling over the edge, plunging toward the ground far below. Dream psychologists assert that the root of falling dreams is feelings of insecurity about some area of your waking life. Perhaps something is changing, and you feel like there's nothing you can do to control it or protect yourself from its impact. Something may be overwhelming your ability to feel empowered and in control of your situation. The following test question relates to falling. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've had dreams in which I'm on the edge of a cliff or other high place. Of the people who have had this dream: 36% Had it once or twice 22% Had it three or four times 19% Had it repeatedly Theme 5: Self-Reliance Self-reliance dreams focus on situations in which you don't feel ready to take full advantage of life's opportunities. For some reason, you feel unprepared or ill equipped, and in response you try to take measure to protect yourself from being too exposed. Self-reliance dreams may be a sign that you're searching for ways to better prepare and protect yourself on your road to success. While there are many varieties of Self-Reliance dreams, the following three are some of the most common. Poor Performance In Poor Performance dreams, you find yourself in various scenarios in which you're unprepared to play your part. You may be standing on stage in front of a crowd, only to realize you've forgotten your lines or you're in a play that's different than the one for which you practiced. You may be an athlete whose missing the equipment you need to play the game. Whatever the situation, you find yourself confused about what to do to remedy the situation. Here's one example of a dream about poor performance: As you step up to bat, a formidable pitcher stares you down. The crowd is watching, and the team is counting on you to get the winning run. As you stand at the plate, the pitcher winds up, and it's only then that you realize you forgot your bat. The ball is flying toward you, and you have nothing to hit it with. In poor performance dreams such as this, psychologists believe that you're feeling unprepared for some role you're expected to play in your waking life. Perhaps you feel unqualified for your new promotion, afraid you aren't ready for your new baby, or nervous that you won't do well on an upcoming date. In some way, you're worried that you haven't done what's needed to succeed in a situation. The following test question relates to a performance. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've dreamt that I'm performing on stage and I don't know my lines. Of the people who have had this dream: 24% Had it once or twice 5% Had it three or four times 2% Had it repeatedly Being Naked or Inappropriately Dressed In these dreams, you show up to work, only to realize that you've forgotten to change out of your pajamas. Or you find yourself in the middle of a crowded shopping mall, naked as the day you were born. In some way, you're dressed inappropriately, or not at all, and everyone is looking. Here's one example of a dream about being naked or inappropriately dressed: You're on a date at a fancy restaurant, with a pianist playing in the corner and white tablecloths on the table. As you and your date chat amicably, you begin to notice that people are watching you. A little girl snickers, a man points, and a woman puts her hand over her mouth in shock. The waiter comes up to you, and asks you to leave. You look down, and suddenly realize that you're completely naked. Psychologists believe that these dreams mean that you're feeling vulnerable and exposed in some area of your waking life. If you're trying to hide yourself in the dream, there may be some part of your personality you want to shield from others. If a particular part of your body is exposed, or you're naked in a particular place, such as work, this may help indicate what it is you're feeling self-conscious about in your waking life. The following test question relates to being naked or inappropriately dressed. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've had dreams in which I was wearing clothing that was inappropriate to the situation I was in. Of the people who have had this dream: 35% Had it once or twice 13% Had it three or four times 6% Had it repeatedly Travel Difficulties While you likely daydream of vacations in your waking life, you may also have travel nightmares in your sleep. Lost tickets, missing your departure, forgetting essential travel documents, and other mishaps are all variations of this type of dream. Dreams in which you suddenly remember that you had travel plans, which you've now completely missed, also fall into this category. Here's one example of a dream about travel difficulties: The ocean liner blows its horn, as you run toward the ramp to board the ship. Time is running out. You go as fast as you can, before you trip and drop all of your bags. As you scurry to pick up your luggage, the ramp is raised, the ship pulls away from shore, and you stand watching it sail away. You've missed the boat. According to dream psychologists, scenarios about travel difficulties are about missed opportunities in your waking life. Maybe you've actually missed out on something, like a promotion or a possible love interest, or maybe you're worried that you're going to miss out on something that's unfolding right now. In some way, you're concerned that your life journey isn't going to work out as you hope. The following test question relates to travel difficulties. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've had dreams in which I'm missing my ticket or other travel documents. Of the people who have had this dream: 23% Had it once or twice 4% Had it three or four times 2% Had it repeatedly Theme 6: Divine Inspiration If you're dreaming about feeling deeply connected to the universe and to those around you, you're having dreams of Divine Inspiration. These involve situations in which you feel free of burdens or constraints, and you have positive relationships that don't hold you back. Having Divine Inspiration dreams mean that you're likely tapping into a sense of uplifting freedom and awe of the greater things in life. Following are three of the most common dreams that fall under the thematic umbrella of Divine Inspiration. Flying You sail through the air, feeling free as the wind. You can go anywhere you wish — nothing is holding you back. In these dreams, you may fly away from threats or troubles, transforming difficult situations into beautiful experiences. Here's one example of a dream about flying: You're walking along the sea shore, on a deserted stretch of sandy beach. Above, the birds fly around, beckoning you to join them. The wind picks up, gently lifting you off the ground. You find that you can steer yourself anywhere you wish, and that you have no fear of falling. You lazily fly off, enjoying the breeze and the warm sunlight on your back. In these pleasant and sometimes exciting dreams, psychologists believe that your unconscious mind is expressing a feeling of ultimate freedom. In your waking life, something in particular is going very well. You feel connected and supported, and nothing is keeping you from soaring through life and reaching your greatest goals. The following test question relates to flying. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've had dreams in which I was flying. Of the people who have had this dream: 29% Had it once or twice 22% Had it three or four times 29% Had it repeatedly The Beauty of Nature In these dreams, you may find yourself surrounded by lush vegetation or blooming flowers. Perhaps you're walking through a forest of tall, comforting trees, or gazing at a valley from a safe vista. No matter what the exact scene, everything around you is beautiful and calming. These dreams can often have a mystic or miraculous element to them. Here's one example of a dream about the beauty of nature: You sit next to a beautiful, clear pond of water. A waterfall pours into the pond from above. All around you are lush, tropical flowers. A brightly colored bird flies down and perches next to you, as you both relish the tranquility and peace of the paradise surrounding you. These rare dreams are a gift from your psyche. Analysts believe that such extremely beautiful surroundings are a sign of feeling joy and exaltation in your waking life. They may be related to a spiritual experience or practice, or indicate a truly special connection. The following test question relates to nature. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've had dreams that included beautiful natural scenery. Of the people who have had this dream: 32% Had it once or twice 24% Had it three or four times 23% Had it repeatedly Physical Connection In these common dreams, you connect physically with someone in a way that's pleasurable. The person may be your partner, someone else that you know, a stranger, or a celebrity or public figure. In the dream, the person may embrace or comfort your physically, or you may enjoy a passionate connection with them. Here's one example of a dream about physical connection: You're on the dance floor, when your favorite actor comes up to you and asks you if you'd like to dance. The two of you move together to the music, as if you're all alone. As you kiss, you become aroused, and when the actor asks if you'd like to go someplace more private, you heartily agree. According to psychologists, these dreams are all about connection. You may desire a deeper or more satisfying connection with the person in the dream, or your dream may be expressing an already-satisfying connection. You may also want to connect with or adopt some quality that this person stands for in your mind. The following test question relates to psychical connection. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've dreamt of being lovingly or passionately embraced. Of the people who have had this dream: 27% Had it once or twice 28% Had it three or four times 25% Had it repeatedly Theme 7: Spiritual Connections When you dreams revolve around various stages in the cycle of life and death, you're having Spiritual Connections dreams. In these dreams, you have contact with the spirit world or with the greater healing powers of the universe. You may grapple with the idea that you're still living while others have passed over. Having these types of dreams means that on some deep level, you're seeking answers to the big questions about life, death, and the afterlife. Following are three of the most common dreams that fall under the thematic umbrella of Spiritual Connections. Troubled Spirits In dreams involving troubled spirits, you have an interaction with someone who is no longer living. In the dream, this person seems upset, angry, hurt, or otherwise not at peace. They may criticize you or express negative feelings toward you, or somehow seem to haunt your dream self. Here's one example of a dream about troubled spirits: Your elderly aunt is sitting in your living room. In real life, she's been gone for many years. In the dream, you know she's a ghost, and you ask her what she wants. You feel afraid, as she looks like she's in terrible pain. She tells you that she isn't really dead, and that you need to help her. These rare but nonetheless troubling dreams are believed by psychologists to be an expression of your own questioning about the cycle of life. You may feel guilty for the way you interacted with the deceased person when they were still alive or for not complying with their wishes. You may be worried about where they're at or what has happened to them in the afterlife. In some way, your feelings about death in general, or the death of this person in particular, are unresolved and troubling you. The following test question relates to troubled spirits A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've had dreams about someone deceased saying they aren't really dead. Of the people who have had this dream: 18% Had it once or twice 7% Had it three or four times 5% Had it repeatedly Guiding Spirits In these comforting dreams, a deceased person who was important in your life comes back to communicate something to you. They may reassure you of their love for you, bid you a fond farewell, or offer loving advice. In the dream, you may feel thrilled with this chance for one last connection with your loved one. Here's one example of a dream about guiding spirits: A loved one, who in real life passed away recently, comes to you in your dream and embraces you. "It's okay to move on with your life. It's time for me to move on, but I'll always be with you," the spirit reassures you. You feel at peace, reassured that your loved one is okay. Psychologists believe that these dreams are most common in the months and years following the death of a loved one. Having one of these dreams generally indicates that you're feeling stronger and ready to move on with your life, carrying your happy memories and letting go of your active grief. The following test question relates to guiding spirits. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've had dreams in which I've had casual conversations with someone in my life who has passed away. Of the people who have had this dream: 24% Had it once or twice 9% Had it three or four times 7% Had it repeatedly Healing and Regeneration Dreams of healing and regeneration vary widely. You may heal or be healed, physically or emotionally. Perhaps you or someone else gives birth or is reborn. These dreams depict joyful transformation. Here's one example of a dream about healing and regeneration: You find yourself at a pool of magical waters. Sensing that these waters have the power of renewal, you take off your clothes and step in slowly. As you slowly wade in, you feel all of the tension and pain in your body floating away. When you exit the pool, you suddenly realize that you are again an infant, ready to start life anew. According to dream analysts, these dreams are a sign that you're hopeful about some area of your waking life. Perhaps you or someone you love has an illness or injury that needs healing. Maybe you've just gone through a difficult experience that has left you stronger for it, and you feel renewed. In some way, this dream is a sign that you're feeling optimistic about your future. The following question relates to healing and regeneration. A star next to an answer indicates the answer you selected on the test. If there is no star present, then you indicated to us that you have never had this dream before. I've dreamt that I or someone I know was reborn. Of the people who have had this dream: 11% Had it once or twice 3% Had it three or four times 1% Had it repeatedly The frequency and intensity of your dreams may vary throughout your life. At some point, you may find that you have one or two dreams repeatedly over a period of time. The next section of your Dream Analysis reveals the most common recurring dreams. What's Your Dream Theme? The 7 Universal Dream Themes The Ten Most-Common Recurring Dreams Remembering Dreams History Behind the Test For More Reading The Ten Most-Common Recurring Dreams Many of us have particular dreams that come to us repeatedly, either over a period of time or throughout our lives. We may dream of the same people, the same places, or of the same emotion. Identifying your recurring dreams can help you see which issues or relationships are occupying your unconscious mind. Tracking these dreams over time, and seeing where they're different, can help you track your progress or changing attitudes over time. The following ten recurring dreams were identified by Tickle's Dream Survey, taken by over 1,800 test takers. The percentages indicate the number of people who have the following dreams on a recurring basis. Your recurring dreams, if indicated by your test response, are highlighted with red arrows. I've dreamt that I or someone I know was reborn. Of the people who have had this dream: 48% I've made love or had sexual feelings in my dreams. 41% I've had dreams in which I am falling. 37% I've dreamt of being chased or attacked. 35% I've dreamt of being lovingly or passionately embraced. 30% I've had dreams in which I've tried to talk or scream and I couldn't. 29% I've had dreams in which I was flying. 25% I've dreamt of making love with someone unexpected. 23% I've had dreams that included beautiful natural scenery. 21% I've dreamt of being chased, without knowing what's pursuing me. 21% I've had dreams in which I've tried to move, only to find myself paralyzed. What's Your Dream Theme? The 7 Universal Dream Themes The Ten Most-Common Recurring Dreams Remembering Dreams History Behind the Test For More Reading Remembering Dreams According to scientific research, almost everyone has dreams every night. So why do some of us remember our dreams more than others? There are a variety of explanations, including our diets, medications, level of stress, and particular sleep patterns. While addressing these larger issues would be useful in better connecting with your dream life, the following steps can get you on your way to remembering what happens in your sleep: Intend to remember your dreams. Before you go to bed each night, think to yourself, "My dreams are going to reveal what I need to know about myself tonight. I will remember my dreams in rich and vivid detail." Record your dreams. Because brain chemicals related to short-term memory decrease when we're asleep, it's easy to forget our dreams if we don't write them down as soon as we wake up. Put a journal right next to your bed, and record every detail you can remember immediately upon waking. Track your dreams over time. Patterns and shifts — such as who you're dreaming about, the exact events, your emotions, and the outcome of your dreams — can give you insight into your deepest feelings and greater meaning to your waking life.