Thought I'd share what I'm writing in some mums. 'cuz my blog is obviously so sketchy and really needed beefing up. Yes, I'm laughing at myself.
Let's talk about older women and younger men. Is this OK?
I'm a single woman in her 30's who gets a lot of interest from younger men. Part of that is sexual. They are intrigued by the idea of sexually confident, experienced woman. But not all of it is sexual. In many cases, women their age are still growing and changing, still finding themselves. These younger women can be prone to drama, and they're not always clear on what they're looking for. I'm an established, mature woman who's confident and clear on what she wants, and I'm always honest and forthright, and that's appealing for younger men.
As for why I'm attracted to younger men... In general, I've found that single men my age are either damaged, commitment-phobic, or idiots. Also, they tend to look only at women younger than they are. Men older than I am don't seem to understand me, my interests, and my lifestyle. (I've been on the internet for 15 years -- it's an integral part of my life -- and my job is *very* technical.) Younger men seem to "get" me better. Their personalities and interests mesh better with mine. And, I'm not going to lie... I'm at my sexual peak. That whole peak thing is NOT a lie! Their sexual energy and enthusiasm is appealing. I don't really understand why admitting that sexuality, which is part of all of us, should be wrong.
I'm not ageist. I'll date anyone with whom I have common interests and relationship goals. But generally I'm more compatible with guys up to eight years younger. And if I met someone who was ten, twelve years younger, but still compatible, I'd have no trouble accepting the relationship. That said, I'd feel the same way about someone older than I was, as long as the common interests and relationship goals were there. I just haven't tended to find as many compatible men that are my age or older.
Why does watching women together turn guys on?
Never really understood why the female body was supposedly so much more beautiful. I think just because men are so much more visual, and thus the female body is judged more beautiful, whereas women are more about personality and vibe, and less about the visual of the body. And the enforced homophobia in our society determines that the male body is judged by the visual gender to be not as beautiful.
That said, I think two people who are really into each other are beautiful, no matter what the genders involved. There was a guy-on-guy kiss on Cold Case last night and I thought it was totally hot. Seriously. And I think male bodies are gorgeous.
Women are attracted to men for different reasons (obviously). What's More important to you? Considering I only have two options available I need to narrow it down. The choices I would think would be employment, looks, influence or Personality.
Women always claim a good job is important but Ive seen some really good looking women hooked up with deadbeats who have never held a job. I've also seen some really good looking women with dogmen (ie Ivana and Donald Trump).
Personally, from experience, I know that with a good job with a good income that a man has his choice of women. The same guy without a job couldn't even get a woman to talk to him....
So, how shallow are YOU? Are You A Gold Digger or a Hunk Chaser?
I don't care about his looks. I only care about the chemistry, which has a lot more to do with personality and how we "vibe" together. I've been turned off by some spectacularly good-looking guys, and been with some guys that were average at best, looks-wise.
I don't care about his job... I only care that he has a job he enjoys, that he does it to the best of his ability, and that he's able to support himself without assistance. If he works as a librarian, likes his job, and can live on $15k a year, then what do I care?
I just want to be with someone who has his life together. Period. I don't care what form that takes. I have my life together, and just want a relationship with an equal. What's wrong with that? Does that make me shallow and "in it for the fun?" No? If I was in love with someone, and things went wrong for him, I'd be there 100% for him. Because I'd expect the same in return. But I'm not going to want to enter into a relationship with someone who's not at the same place in life that I am. That's not shallow... that's just common sense.
As far as looks being important, there's an old adage that men fall in love with women they're attracted to, and women are attracted to men they fall in love with. And I think that's true much of the time. Am I completely non-shallow? No. There are guys whose looks turn me off. But chemistry is an odd thing, and in my case, is triggered a great deal more by personality than by looks.
Basically, if I totally dig his personality, and his looks don't *turn me off*, then I'm soooo there. And generally, the guys I've fallen for, really hard, didn't fit into my "preferred looks" category in any way, shape, or form.
Heh, it appears I have a lot to say about this mum. ;)
Guys, would you feel comfortable letting your woman have sex with another woman?
Personally, never understood why this was OK. It's like guys think that the woman would only be in it for sex, and there was no possibility of developing feelings. But if it were a guy, then he's a legitimate threat to the relationship.
Honestly, if I were in a monogamous relationship with a guy, and I were to have sex with another guy (which I'd never do, but... just saying), I'd be a lot less likely to have "feelings" for him, and honestly, it would be much less of a threat to the relationship. But I sleep with women I have feelings with. In this case, the woman is a LOT more of a legitimate sexual and emotional threat than the guy is. In the case of true bisexuality, then the woman CAN BE an emotional threat just as much as the guy is. And guys can't seem to grasp that. They just think my bisexuality is a treat for them. "Yeah, threesomes!"
Does size matter?
Size matters to some women. I don't really understand why. Personally, a guy tells me he's 9", I'm running for the hills. Cock hitting cervix = painful. But everyone's sexuality is different. For me, it really is about technique.
Now, a guy tells me he won't do oral -- that's an issue. :)
Do women really want to see naked photos of men, or are they happy with face shots?
Honestly, I can appreciate a nice chest/face shot, and I do have a friend who takes LOVELY photos of himself. But generally I'm not really interested in a guy's private parts unless I'm really into him. Guys, I hate to break the news to you... but overexposed close-ups of your penises all kind of end up looking the same. If you really want to show it off, include the rest of your body, too. I want to see your face, chest, AND groin.
And, a face shot of you looking turned on is a lot more likely to turn me on than your dick.
