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I am writing a lot lately... After getting "dumped" over something so amazingly childish, and moronic, I've become quite...bitter? Angry? Disgusted? Maybe all of the above... I guess I have a lot on my mind. I sit back, and question every definition in my mind. Things that should be simple, are now convoluted, and multi-layered. That which has consistently made sense to me, now drives me insane. Visions that were once pristine, uncorrupted, and lucid...these visions are now clouded and opaque. I stand back, and I take in the world, one day at a time. Defining things, as they mean to me. A dreamer - A fool. A person who has seen more than what he could hope to possibly attain. An inspiration in other instances. A person who could change the world. Hopes - Fleeting memories. Unreal wants. Standard fairy tales, for the adult mind. Goals - Pointless. Life is random. Let it take its own course. Love - Is it tangible? How well can one feel it? How do you know when you love someone? How can you measure, this feeling of grandeur importance? Life - We all live to work, until we die. It's the truth. Hate - It exists. It always will. It fuels society. While my definitions on a few key terms may sound bleak, I am only honest. Once again, I am not depressed, just a bit.... Disappointed with life.

Who am I?

I ask myself this... almost constantly. Who am I? What is my purpose? Why am I here? Do you know who you are? I've got an idea of who I am... and it goes like: I am pain I am sorrow I am what makes you smile and yet, I can break you heart I am cold and yet, I can keep you warm I am chaos and I am serene.. I am precious and I am useless I can be your everything I can mean nothing at all I can protect you I can harm you I am your voice of reason I am your vice I am one I am the all being And... I am nothing...

Life...

I decided to ponder my future.. My future, your future, the worlds future. And, it looks bleak. Think about it. Look at how fast technology is progressing. Look at how fast medical techniques are changing. Look at everything around you. Then think about it. Race relations. Not getting any better. With the trend that's going on...soon enough, we will all be burnt into radioactive ash. You look at one person, then another. I see humans. Of course, there are white humans, as well as black humans. Yellow, brown, red, purple, orange, green, or whatever color. I still see them as human. We all have our own predjudices. Regardless of what anyone says, they exist. Be it thinking that all black men are "hung", or thinking that all white people are rich. Thinking that all Mexicans are illegal, or that all Asians are good at math. I know I have my own fair share of prejudices, but I am honest with myself, and I try to look past them. They usually never get the best of me. Sometimes, due to overwhelming anger or stress, I let a predjudice or two slip through. And I may say stupid things. And I feel bad each time. I apologize, and I try to make amends. But they are still there. I will address one of my predjudices. Slight homophobia. Growing up, I had known quite a few homosexuals, and wasn't aware of it. And yet, I detested them. I had no reason why. I knew that my dad did, so I did too. Little did I know, my dad had a gay cousin, named Carl. I always liked Carl. He was nice, always gave me candy, and used to drive my mom around to do errands. I didn't find out that he was gay, until I turned 16. Shocking? Not really. I also found out that a few more family friends were gay. 1 week or so ago, my moms uncle died. He was the same age as her, maybe a bit older, like 45. She called me one morning, after I got off of work. She sounded a bit upset, and told me that her uncle passed. I was a bit shocked, but not too terribly so, as I didn't know him very well. But she reminded me of an important fact: He was gay. And the authorities didn't seem to want to investigate his mysterious death. My mom suspects that it was because of an illness that he long fought with. But still, even though he was openly gay, the authorities could've been a bit more professional about this. I mean, this is the fucking Chicago Coroners Department. They exhibited the professionalism of a fucking gang of 15 year olds. All because of his sexual orientation.. As it stands, the human race doesn't stand to exist much longer. It's getting to the point where being of your own person has become a liability. You want to be able to walk the streets at night, without the threat of being robbed? Walk with a gun is most likely the answer. How about wanting to express your opinion, in a healthy manner? Better be prepared to fight for the right to leave it at that. Even we, the "greatest nation in the world", are beginning to fall apart. Greed, corruption, warn, plagues, malice, and many other factors come together to show the world ending much sooner than predicted. It will get to the point where we can't walk down the street without being shot at. Being rich will truly become an elitist status. Poverty shall be the large majority. Death will reign. If we don't change... The world will end.
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