I have had my first one nite stand....I didnt want it to be that way, but that is just the way things happened....It makes you rethink a lot of things. I really thought that I was too old for that but I guess your age doesnt matter. Most of my sexual relationships were also ongoing relationships, whether it was months or years. I have one in particular that has lasted for almost 21 years on again off again. The one nite stand made me think about how I look and see people. I understand that it wasnt suppose to happen BUT it did. At the same time I thought that slowing down and taking it one day at a time was going to fix things. Guess what? It didnt, the word used is a harsh word but I can't think of a different word to replace it. I really thought that I could care about this person and the feeling would be mutual. It wasnt, now I feel guilty for even considering what we did and I shouldnt have to feel that way. And yes, it actually does hurt. I didnt think it would but then if you sit and rethink everything it does....OMG!!! I even had tears in my eyes!! I thought I was stronger then that but I guess not. Lesson learned. Time doesnt always tell what is going to happen....and I will definitely rethink the age bracket again. It wasnt fair to me, and it wasnt fair to him by all rights. I wont let this happen again. I am a better person then that. Ok, I think I am done thinking about all of this....maybe??
