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One is the Lonliest

How can I feel so alone when I have someone that makes my heart pound and rush whenever I look at them or think of them. I am feeling self pity right now not knowing where I am going to stay when I go back to the states. I feel so confused and so alone. Maybe one day I will have a place to call 'home' again. Right now I feel like a ping pong ball that keeps getting bounced off the table. Next week I am getting a new tattoo with the word strength written in Japanese Kanji on my back. Perhaps if I believe in something strong enough it will give me strength.
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