Glad you liked the response. You lucked out; Im on the way out of this singles mania. It's all the same. We come here out of
desperation. There is no other reason. Not deep insane desparation. It's a new desparation with goals, criteria, and rules
for us. We want what we want. No doubt. Why not? Why put up with bullshit, with lies, with the other person who, eventually,
is using you as a stepping stone to the next level of love. We all want a love who shows the better part of our being. Not an
equal. Not a competitor. So it goes. I'm thinking about a story about an old man who finds a way to seduce a young
intelligent artist type. Do our dreams manifest themselves to reality? Not really. I know that. But,. it really makes me feel
good to hear your words. no matter what. You are very attractive.
I never said I knew what was right or even correct? I love to judge the situation or comment on it at the least. What fun.
Who are these people that keep coming into our lives like me to you? See, I'm already hooked on you but with reservations. I
know the probable outcome, just like you do. But still, here I am. I like the wordy bullshit, the banter and after three
beers, I'll cast all of reality, good sense and all the other stuff aside and just sit here and write.
Listen, of course I'd like to talk on messenger with you. I'm old, your'e young, you look good, my ego is boosted, i'm
flattered..let's get it on. Aside from all that, I love to fantacize like all the rest of us here. I fantacize about the
lottery too especially when it's up there. There again, I've always wondered if fantacizing is destructive or not. Does it
take away time from real life. Does it meddle in relationships..real relationships? The reality will have a hard time being
realized if it gets so far out, nothing can live up to it. That's sort of what I see here on these singles sites.
Lots of folks here do the chat thing, do the posting to the forums etc.; god what a boring life it must be. Where are all
these close friends in your own home town?
I did the same thing last night. I went to Phil Brady's for comedy night. I talked with total strangers...but it's in person.
Totally different. Body language etc you know. And later I was thinking...I actually improved my banter by writing here on
this site. So maybe it does have worth. Maybe maybe maybe....
I had bongo drums, poetry and the lotus position back in the late fifties in Jr. High. Venice beach was only an hours drive
along Ventura hiway alternate (followed the coastline) and the Los Angeles Times wrote about the beatnik's protesting police
violence. When I was in New York City, I met one of those Santa Monica beatniks who now lives in the Santa Maria area of
Calif. When I had just turned 21, she and a few other pre hippie radicals changed this middle class beaver cleaver boy like
the first scene with the cow's eye in the film " The Andalusian Dog" by Dali and Bunuel.
I met Ginsburg, Sari Deines, Stan Vanderbeek, John Cage, Warhol, Tim Leary and others during my stay there. A fan of Keroac?
Without the heroin, without his demons, I'm a gypsy. Does that relate?
No heroin but I did leave this world temporarily on a huge ball of fresh soft hash from the mountains of Mexico. I heard
someone in the distance say: "Do you think we should take him to the hospital?". Being so far outside the reality universe, I
couldn't talk. Some old time artists who'd survived the junk scene, said,"Leave him alone, the hospital will really kill
him".
On the road for sure. I dream of settling down someday. I'm not sure if he thought that way. For me, once I'd tasted life
outside the box, there was no turning back. There were times I felt crazy; I mean really crazy. At times I wished I'd have
been a CPA. But I have no regrets and the synapsis' have dug such deep trails, I'm pretty much stuck in outer space.
Sincerely,
Esteban
