On turning 29…
I will officially start the final year of my twenties on June 2nd.
*deep breath*
29??!! That's just one year away from 30!
It’s hard to believe. How time flies. June 2, 1978 seems like so long ago.
If you’re a boomer, you probably don’t think much of my generation—Gen X. But that’s because we’re a threat to you! My generation is changing the world! Just think of all that has happened in the world these past 29 years...
Watergate, Jimmy Carter, Star Wars during the Reagan administration (not the movies), fall of the Soviet Union, Bill Clinton scandal, Gulf War, 9/11, War on Terror and the list goes on and on. I loved the 80’s, mostly the music and styles. That’s when I grew up, but I had no idea just how much the world was changing. Then, the Berlin Wall fell. I’ll never forget that day in November. 1989. I was 12 and on top of the world. I can remember my history teacher telling me that the world would never be the same. He was right. Then, something even more dramatic developed. The Internet. If you want to understand me and my generation, then go online. And don’t believe it when they say the Internet bubble has burst. The only thing that has burst is the old way of doing business.
Now, I'm not one of those people who thinks that turning 30 is going to be the end of my life, or the elimination of any essence of coolness I may have. I don't think 30 itself it bad age to be. I never thought turning 30 is going to be a devastating blow, for whatever reason, but I can honestly say that I've had no sudden realization that it's time to rework my life, to 'retake control' or make 'improvements'. I mean, sure, there are things in my life that need improvements and definite ‘rework’ that could be used (and I’m working on it), but isn’t that an ongoing process throughout one’s entire life. In my 20’s I lived by certain ‘quotes’, and while I will continue to encompass those, (ie: “Carpe diem”, “Just do it”) a few are added to my list, such as “You’re only as old as you feel”, and “With age, comes wisdom”. My issue is more that I don't feel like someone who is almost 30. I still feel like I'm in my early twenties or mid-twenties at the oldest. The thought that I'm about to enter the last year of my twenties really makes me wonder...where in the hell did those years go?
As I am approaching 30, I decided to stop ‘freaking out’ and evaluate myself and my life. Over the past six months I’ve gotten more than my share of people saying “Don’t worry about turning 30, you look great.”, “you look younger than most people your age”. I had to take a step back and think, “why is that the only advice I get? Does everyone really think that is what I’m worried about?” Is it what I am worried about? I guess that was part of it, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t. But there is more. So I challenged myself….What have I learned over the years? How have I grown as a person? Which brings us to this bout of soul searching, which was long over due…
I’ve learned that as I’ve gotten older, I have become more comfortable in my own skin.
I’ve learned that doing the right thing, means doing the right thing by my standards, not someone else’s.
I’ve learned that I don’t have to settle. I have every day of my life to do that… why do it today, or even tomorrow for that matter?
I've learned that you don't have to lie to avoid saying things that are painful. It will just bite you in the ass in the end.
I've accepted that I am capable of doing whatever I put my mind to. And have reaped the rewards and benefits to prove it.
I’ve learned that trust is one of the most significant aspects of any relationship. And to lose it, usually means losing the relationship.
I've learned to accept the fact that I am worthy of significant relationships in my life and I don't have to click to "self destruct" mode when things get intense.
I’ve learned how to compromise without compromising myself in order to make life easier or happier for other people.
I've learned that I don't have to be perfect. As long as I am healthy that shows through and defines me more than anything.
I’ve learned that I am capable of independence.
I’ve learned that just because two people love each other, does not mean they should be together.
I’ve learned that people need you to understand them more than they need you to agree with them.
I’ve learned that being a good friend and have people depend on you is just as comforting as having a good friend. And I’ve learned the importance of my friendships.
I’ve learned that it is okay to ‘grow out’ of a relationship, whether it be love, friendship or business related.
I’ve learned that people you love will hurt you. You need to make peace with it, and move on.
I’ve learned that love does come when you least expect it.
Most of all I've learned to relish my family, my mom and dad and sister. Those people are invaluable.
I’m sure that there is more that I stumbled upon throughout the last few years of my life, but I definitely don’t have all the answers. Maybe when I am 31 I will have all the answers - if not, at the very least, I know I will be able to add to the previous list! What I do know is upon my reflection, mentally and physically, I am very content with myself and my life thus far.
I’m turning 29 soon… So what?! Bring it on… Carpe Diem!!
"It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved but by reflection, force of character, and judgment; in these qualities old age is usually not only not poorer, but is even richer."
I know the best is yet to come!
