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I sit here thinking to myself where have all my childhood friends gone? THis isnt completely random... it may seem it but its not. Last night I heard some disturbing news. A childhood friend of mne went missing the 18th of this month. they found him this week dead and in a shallow grave. My best friend from my childhood, was arrested for his murder. They were my 2 best friend when i was in school as a child. We always laughed and had a good time. And nowit feels like i havnt last just one friend. But both. I dont understand it. I probably never will. But this incident started the wheels turning in my head and made me think, alot. Where are all of the other people i was friends with? What are they doing, are they still alive. I know In the past 4 years i have lost a few friends. 2 of which killed themselves, 1 murdered, and 1 arrested for murder. I guess i just have to pick up and move on.
Another long day at the shop, had alot of business today though which is good. Most of the day though i was thinking about what has happened to me in the past few months. I called home to talk to my father, he was telling me how my whole family is saying its MY fault everything turned out the way it did. How its my fault im trying to figure out. Things happen for a reason i guess, the only thing i can think of is that soon something good will happen. Im just hoping its soon because i cant take much more of the low and bad. I just have to get on with my life and keep my head held high....easier said then done. I still have my bad days where i just cry and wish everything would end so i didnt have to deal with it. But like i said...things happen for a reason...why i still dont know. I just want to be happy, and have a place of my own again. Is being happy so much to ask for? thats all i want. im happy with certain things but other things i would like to change. I hope someone understands what im talking about... if not oh well... i know what im talking about hahaha.
I think thats all im gonna write for now... ill prolly write more later on....
Niki
In the past month things have been pretty fucked up for me. I have lost my Job, My house, My laptop, my friends, and some of my family.Most of the people who said "I will be there for you." left. Im running out of reasons to keep going. Right now my main reason are my bosses. They have taken me in during my time of need and proved to e tht good people are still out there. I am apprenticing in their tattoo shop. I Love it. I cant wait to finish my apprenticship so i can tattoo and do something I love for the rest of my life. At least i have a man in my life i love with all of my heart and soul. Grant i love you, and cant wait for you to get here so we can be together. Well thats enough of a rant for me this morning, im sure there will be more to come tonight :) Have a good day everyone.
