kashay's blog: "ON LINE LOVERS"

My husband and I have 2 children we adopted that are 9 and 10. have been together for 14 yrs.. married 10and 1/2 yrs.  My husband met a girl on line.. She is married and has 2 older children.  He has been talking to her for 5 months now...   He has never met her in person just talked on phone and on line to her.. They are ready to leave perspective partners and move in together... He has her as his wife and me by my name.. They are already "Engaged"..  even before either have a Divorce.. lol  So my ?  is  this do you think he is going thru mid life chrises or just being a Idiot?

OK,,  first let me start out by saying for the last 16 month I have been under the weather.. I hurt my shoulder at work and eventually had to have surgery on it .  That took from April 2008 to may 2009 I finally got released from the doctor on that.. just to go to work and get a severe sinus infection and had to go to doctor to get antibiotics for it.. and after that was over 2 wks later came down with inner ear infection,, and got antibiotics for that.. after that I was doing good for 3 wks and came down with a kidney infection in which I have had since June 28th.. lol   after 5 rounds of diffferent antibiotics and no success I had to sleep on sofa so I could sleep sitting up because that is the most comfortable way for me to sleep so I had not slept with my husband for 3 wks on the 13th of July..  I have to go to a specialist and have a camera stuck up into my kidneys to find out why they are infected.. lol.. great life huh..

Well to top it off on July 13th  almost a month ago.. my husband took out the trash at night.. he never does that.. he always takes it out in the morning on his way to work.. well  when he got back in the house I asked "who have you been chatting with on your phone".  well he gave me this busted look and never answered me.. I got off the computer and went to sofa to sleep.. he covered me up and took his phone to the bedroom and was going to bed.. 2nd thing he done wrong.. he always plugs it in to charge over night..  well my daughter, age 9, comes out of her room and wants to sleep with me on the sofa,, so I told her to go sleep with daddy.. which she did.. my husband comes out 5 minutes later asking why I sent her in there.. so I told him she wanted to sleep with someone.. He is buttoning his shirt and I ask him what he is doing.. he replys "going to store for cigs" so I asked him why it is 12:30 am and he should go back to bed.. well his reply was.... "We need to talk,,, you asked me who I was talking to on my phne earlier, I can not hide it anymore,, I have been talking to a girl and I care deeply for you but I am very much in love with her... we have been talking for 4 months and she lives in a different state.  She knows all about you and the 2 kids.. and I am going to give you the house and the kids, and you will not have to leave.. all I want is my personal items..  and I will  pay childsupport.. But I need to stay here until we get financially stabel so I can move out with her.. then he starts texting her.. WOW,, NOT IN MY LIFE TIME....  I asked him if he was talking to her and he replied yes.. so I told him he was very disrespectful and rude and to get out of my house and NEVER COME BACK HERE TO LIVE.. He stayed the night in his explorer. and came back to get dressed for work and ;eft.  He came back after work to get clothes for the next day and left again..

They have now been talking for 5 months She is still married and hs grown kids by another man not the one she is married to. Her husband does not even know she is talking to my husband..and that my husband has her listed as his wife on his cell phone and me by my name.. he has put his status on the site he met her on as engaged..THEY HAVE NEVER MET.   He  tells me they are getting married.. I do not allow him to talk about her to my children , ages 9 and 10, and I do not allow him to talk, chat, or text her while he is with the kids.. They do not need for him to flaunt his relationship with them,, and they need a daddy to talk to and play games with etc not someone who is constantly on phone not paying attention to them..  WE live in Missouri... THE GF lives in Oregon.  since they have not met am I doing right by not allowing him to talk to her while he has the kids and not talking about her to them? He only has had them from 6pm till 7:15 am and gets to talk to her while they are asleep.. 

He has also came to me for SEXUAL FAVORS.. LOL  and wants to get off with me since he has no one here and phone sex apparently is not enough for him so he needs to get satisfied so I did 2 times.. since I had not had it in quite some time. due to illness. Then to top it off he told his gf that he was out with his friend and he was really out with me.. and he would also tell her he had kids but he was really with me sexually   He already cheats on her.. and they have not met.. but he loves her but says he is confused.. he does not want to hurt either of us.. lol..   I told him to get out and leave me alone.. not to call or ask for sex or anything again..

so ? to yo all is do you think this could really be serious/?  or is it midlife crises.. They say they are "soul mates"  but... if they were would he stil be wanting sex with others??  or is he just a player .   T me he is one big FAT JERK!!!!  not wanting to stay in his marriage with all benefits.. lol 

Should I be able to start dating?  or should I just wait till we have money for divorce and just concentrate on the kids like I do now?  what is your openion?