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Bren's blog: "Random Stuff"

created on 07/02/2008  |  http://fubar.com/random-stuff/b228372

OMG

HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT THESE > ARE ALL TRUE STORIES FROM EMERGENCY ROOMS AROUND THE COUNTRY: > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > FEMALE SOFA----- A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. > During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was > found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the > folds of her vulva. eeewwwww..... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In M ichigan , a man came into the ER with lacerations to > his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..."which > bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I wou! ld ha ve drawn, I don't think). > After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle > left inside her after a recent hysterectomy. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > PING PONG ANYONE? ----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in > his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete > mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a > funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!. The concrete then hardened, > (no sh*t Sherlock!), causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a > perfect concrete ca s t of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong > ball. (Boy - we live sheltered lives!) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER com! plain ing of severe > pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come > out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a > suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and > discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been > trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea. (Oh my gosh!!!) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH! ----- A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency > room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his > abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to > doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome > with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man > (Classy o! r wha t??). While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her > to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and > desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let > go. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!! I'm still laughing!!!! > Friendship is like peeing your pants....... Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's true warmth.
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