The shocker's blog: "old stuff"

I just want you to feel Feel like i do for you I know thing are different I cant see how or why All I've done was try to make you happy Before tonight I thought I had you Just listening to your voice before It made me smile knowing you care Although your voice wasnt the same tonight You sounded annoyed or bothered by me And what i had to say, with only one point Trying to get you to realize I care If you dont believe me then look at my face When i say good night for the last time With tears in my eyes, running down my cheek Trying to remember how it was The only thing i remember Is us being happy and us loving eachother

Always walking alone Since the first day Out of the woom Having no morals taught to me Not being taught anything Keeping to myself, I walk alone Teaching myself everyhting In life and in love All the way from morals to Having respect for everything and nothing at the same time Being myself is my only strength My only weakness is... Forever walking alone

Fighting urges and feelings For anyone who wants me Rejecting everyone but you If I had known we were gonna end especially like this I would have let some in To just be firends or lovers Memories only make regret When I let you in I thought we had something Something pure and constant like the flow of a waterfall

Tonight in the darkness I feel alone without you The way we used to talk The way it used to be I thought you cared about me More than to just Drop me like you have You didnt even give me a chance To explain my true feelings I dont think you know But you have to believe How i feel is true If you want or need something else Just tell me and ill try Just maybe I'll try to let you go....

What is love? Is it just a 4-letter word? or is it used to hide the words of real emotion we'll never know, will we? never satisfied, looking forr deeper reasons When the feeling is deep still can be carved from the surface of your heart and your memory forever forgotten I dont know what I'd do If i really knew what love was searching to never find a reason we all sit in wonder will we ever love or beloved?

I think next time will be the last time Until the depths of your heart lead you back But the least you can do is to tell bout Bout what we've done, that so called relationship you do have with him is based on lies about me and yourself Our love will be everlasting whoever we are with at the end of this world Being your first was never a plan it was fate, but fate dissapears rapidly to discover our mistakes all i want, is for you to be truthful with him Dont hide me or the feelings for me friends or not we still have the connection but soon i will cut the umbilical cord that connects us, our feelings and what we know about eachother only to forget and live on

Could you whisper in my ear The things you wanna feel I'd give ya anythin' To feel it comin' Do you wake up on your own? And wonder where you are You live with all your faults I wanna wake up where you are I won't say anything at all So why don't you slide Yeah I'm gonna let it slide Don't supposed I'll ever know What it means to be a man Somethin' I can't change I'll live around it And I'll do anythin' you ever Dreamed to be complete Little pieces of the nothin' that fall Oh May Put your arms around me What you feel is what you are And what you are is beautiful Oh May Do you wanna get married, Or run away? I wanna wake up where you are I won't say anything at all

To live this life Running from feelings That was before This is now I regret running And not showing Complete emotions I was embarassed to Have emotion for anyhting Cause of constant torment If i knew then What i know now I just might be happy Or just satisfied for The life i lived And dieing today just might Are the regret and anger Deep...deep inside of me

Us nice guys, We finish last in romance, Although first in your hearts As friends, we hope for more What never becomes of us We beg, We plead for a chance But never given one As usual they say "lets just be friends" Finishing last is all feelings Feelings I never needed Attachment is my only weakness My strength to forget has dissipated Along with the heart of a so called "nice Guy" If dieing was an option Just to forget the memories of your face I'd say to the world let me go To heaven or hell whichever Will accept the real me At last i feel accepted, In this place where i cannot return To the mistakes I had made, To make you feel they way you did bout me And the only feeling never missed and reassured Are the feelings i had for you