GoldStar's blog: "old stuff"

As suicide thoughts/

slowly creep in/

i grab hold of my liberation/

My only way out/

The only object that keeps me sane/

The only thing i can control/

Not evern my thoughts are my own/

To know that i cant control them/

Only scares me even more/

I dont know what they mean/

I sit and try to figure them out/

Until i want to scream!/

Until i want to run away to a psychiatric ward!/

Until i stand there and yell out to my Lord!/

To my savior/

The only one who understands/

And tells me this isnt what it seems/

It is only a dream//

As i wake up/

I only see darkness/

I feel trapped/

deep down in this hole/

I know theres no way out/

I have gone to my hell/

I have lost my soul/

I hold the truth/

That will liberate others/

But i start to panic/

I start to shake/

As i feel a quiver coming up my spine/

I realize this punishment/

For all that i have done/

As i take my last breath/

I see my deamon telling me to give up/

So i give in knowing no one will give a fuck//

My words are nothing

But they mean so much

My mind is blank

But full of so much

My heart is empty

But can feel so immensely

My soul is dark as night

But still worth so much

I've become immune to pain

I can no longer bear it

I no longer cry tears

Like everyone else does

At times something triggers an emotion

But I brush it all off

I act as if I am unbreakable

But I am truly fragile

I act as if I am simple

But I am truly complex

I see significance as insignificant

I am me

There's no other way to say it or explain it

Love it or leave it

Accept it deny it

There's no way im willing to change who I am

Because I am  simply

me

As i sit here torn up inside/ i think, i wonder and ponder why/ why this world is

full of hate, and things we despise/ surrounded by lies and misguidance/

merciless melancholy and deciet/ predictable suicides and unbearable disasters/

unwanted lives/ tormenting laughter/ unreachable heaven/ non-existing havens/

pointless wars/ unjustified glory/ broken hearts/ happy families that fall apart/

broken dreams/ shattered hearts/ pretense love/ unexplaineable pain/

inexplicable love/ As i sit here torn up inside/

i simply cannot fathom why we persue this thing we call life.......

Tell them you love them every chance you get

Make every moment count

Remind them of their worth

Trust them and they will trust you

Be honest, but watch what you say

Tact is a virtue

Let them know of your fears

Make them believe you'll always be there

Don't be afraid to show them your tears

Give them your all; they deserve it

Be their best friend

Show the respect they deserve

Don't fight or argue, talk it out

Never make them do something they don't want to

Be patient, they will come along

Don't think that because they love you, you can mistreat them

They're not your pet

They're not your trophy

When you tell them you love them, look them straight in the eyes

And when you can't look them in the eyes, pour your heart and soul into those three words

Don't make a promise you can't keep

Let the world know of your love

Random acts of love are always a plus

The gifts you give aren't about how much money you spend

But how much heart you put into them

Take risks and keep your love life fresh

Never give up. Even when the world is against you, keep fighting

It's worth it

Distance shouldn't matter

Be real, they love you for YOU

Love them with all your heart

No matter how many mistakes you make they'll be there

So do the same

Don't let one mistake ruin your life

Don't dwell on the past

Live for your future