This was too cute not to share.
It's funny, I had received this
in an email.
Wal Mart Applicant revealed...
Below is an actual job application
that this 75 year old senior citizen
submitted to Walmart in California .
They hired him because he was funny.....
Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for
the right woman
(or at least one who will cooperate)
Company President or Vice President.
But seriously, whatever's available.
If I was in a position to be picky,
I wouldn't be applying here in the
$185,000 a year plus stock options
and a Michael Ovitz style severance
package. If that's not possible,
make an offer and we can haggle.
LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.
A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen
pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING:
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday,
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to
a more intimate environment .
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS
THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
UP TO 50 lbs.
?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question
here would be
'Do you have a car that runs?'
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS
I may already be a winner of the
Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes,
so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING
IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously
wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel
who thinks I'm the greatest thing
since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE
AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
Oh yes, absolutely.
***Old People Rock! ***