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WTH iz up with 2013?? And i'm not the only 1...
Ok, shit happens in 3's rite? -- believe me,, 3 was pretty damn tough. I hope it's done for a while. I'm still losing sleep over these... the first 2 were completely uncalled for, due 2 me being VERY misunderstood. My recent shit in a nutshell happened in a 3-week time span,, the first 2 in the same WEEK. My therapist has his work cut out 4 him for a while.
-1- A dear Aunt betrayed me in the worst way AND her husband promtly and PHYSICALLY threw me outta "his" house. At nite. Threw my shit out on the porch. I'm OCD,, don't fkn touch my stuff unless u ASK. He knew that.
-2- My long distance "Love" ? Was it about Love at ALL? i have no idea, but it hurts like hell, esp. the not knowing/ seeing what the hell happened to the awsum grrl i met in Oct.
-3- my Mom had a serious heart attack on Easter Sunday. She & i are very very close. It was serious. Surgeons did well, took about 3rs in te O.R. ---She is recovering well, it'll be a week 2morro.
~~~~~~~
So yes, i will lose sleep 4 a while. I think i'll just stay at Mom & Dad's house about a month. Try to re-group & rest. I'm frustratingly waiting for an appt w/my new Disability Lawyer. And maybe go 2 my sister's once a week, there are always calm & cool peeps there :)
I really fuct up this time, as i have b4. This luv was fkn amazing. Truly. And i wasn't even looking, we just went ""firecracker-awsum-check-this-shyt- out!"" .. It lasted about 6mos, which was sum damn GOOD waiting on my part. So anyway,, just wanna say -- My big lesson learned: 6mos is too long for me. Ugh! Stoopid ass me broke it off last week instread askin' for a break --or trying to stfu & listen --or talk more about it, after very taumatic experiences that happened 2 BOTH of us in the SAME damn fukkin' stoopid SARC-panic-stricken week. Our plans got fuct up (on both sides) since idk, DEC?? JAN?? -- and we were supposed to be MAYBE POSSIBLY living 2gether,, either HERE or THERE, rougly SIX weeksss BEFORE i ended it. Kickin' my own ass, but really kinduva mutual fukk-up. Details on my "blog" (its more of a Journal), if any 1 wuld like to read my Shitty-Im-An-ASShole-Idiot Story. Hurts. Sux. I want THIS one, dammit. No more fish in the sea 4 me, not for a long time, my choice. I've done this sorta thing b4, i know it will take many months to work thru it. Time will help me. Anddd KARAOKE!! YYYYess! TY all for yur hugz & for not OVER-helping me. (h)(h)
LISTEN WITHOUT PREDJUDICE is a perfect CD for my thots / feelings these days. My 2 faves are --
~~ Something To Save ~~
---- oh CRAP ,, i fergot the 2nd one! I'll edit this entry L8r!! ---- (looks 4 cd, just had it in Dad's truck 2day, on trip to therapy) Lol. Was a good cd 4 that road trip. 30mi outta town every 2 wks. My therapist rawks! He's very laid back =D
