Kinkstar Sin's blog: "ok then..."

so i told him that i love him and that we can't see each other anymore i told him it's tearing me apart and i can't do it i can't be an "at arm's length" girl i can't wait around for him to be ready hell we're not even talking about marriage we've already tried that i can't pretend to "just be friends" with someone i'm in love with i can't "just hang out" with someone i used to spend my life with not when i still match them all everyone i'm with to him i can't wait for him to clear his head when it tears me up inside each time he walks away i'll be okay though i lowered my standards i don't try to be happy anymore i just try to stop being miserable. ~sinamynlee

i made my choice to run away once and you made the same choice once again i remember once upon a time and dreams of happily ever after and i know neither of them will happen again i try to keep myself together and keep us separate enough that i can live with all of this i wish you thought i was still worth a chance and when i said "if you don't go now, i'll never let go" you would have stayed a bit longer or told me i didn't have to i know the risk of writing this i still know how to take chances ~sinamynlee

i can smile if you want me to tell jokes and dance that won't make really make either of us happy i can cry if i have to scream obscenities and stomp my feet that won't really change a damn thing i can pray to gods i don't believe in seeking forgiveness and strength that won't make me any more able to handle this i can think about you talk about you and dream about you that won't make me any more yours, or you mine ~sinamynlee