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Oh Shit!

Have you ever had an " Oh Shit " moment? Yanno something where the only thing you can think of is " Oh Shit! "? Well I have, and let me tell you it was no bowl of cherries. I'm not at all easily embarrassed, but I turned as red as a freshly removed blood dripping tampon! It all happened this past summer; My water heater took a royal crap and totally stopped working. I live in a gated community which has an office equipped with community maintenance workers. So I called them up like any normal person who knew absolutely nothing about a water heater would do. They told me they would send someone out the very next morning. So I got extremely busy, cleaned my entire house. Threw things in closets and forced the doors closed, hid sex toys, put away half empty fifths of alcohol, threw away empty fifths, yanno the normal things people do when someone is comming over. The next morning the maintenance guy shows up right on time. Was on a Monday morning so I left him a key and left in a hurry as I had to be at work. Have you ever seen those boxes like a realitor puts on the doorknob with a key in it? The one's they have to open with a code? Well, that's what they use around here. So I got home late that Monday evening, was around 8 PM. The box was still on my doorknob but the office was closed, so I couldn't call to inquire information about it. I paid it no mind, and went on about my evening. The next morning I was sitting on my sofa watching porn on my 74 inch flatscreen tv. Had out my bottle of k.y. jelly and from tip to tip a 13 inch neon purple vibrator. Felt totally fucking amazing btw, lol. Anyway, I had to leave in a hurry that morning. So I left everything sitting right where it was on the coffee table, turned lights and tv off and left. Didn't think anything of it. Well, when I returned home that afternoon there was a note on my door and the key box was gone. It read, " Left key on coffee table. Job took two day's as I was missing some parts yesterday. Should be working fine now. Maintenance " I clumslessly shoved my key into the hole, unlocked the door, turned the knob and flung open the door. Guess what the first thing I saw was? Yep, the big 13 incher and the open bottle of k.y.! My first thought? " Oh SHIT!! " I automatically turned as red as a freshly removed blood dripping tampon. Well of course I haven't called back to the office for any type of maintenance since then, lol. I can barely look at the poor maintenance man, lol. So that my friends, is an " Oh Shit " moment.
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