Entry for April 24, 2006
I decided to be nice in here today and say something pleasant.......................................................well after sitting here for two hours the best I could come up with was.............................................DAMN I lost it!!!! HAHAHA had you going didnt I??? As all you know this lil piece of the world is reserved for quiet reflections of of chaos and madiness another day in life of arent you glad this life isnt yours.
OK OK OK OK ...............I will let up just this once.............I did surivive a MONDAY!!!
LQQK above I have the pic to prove it and as far as the pulse ummm well that is reserved for a trained professional to make sure I have one of those.
Weekend Highlights: Mad dash to get drop off the lil ones, rode the tilt a whirl on Saturday (ask I might tell ya later). Met some interesting people later Saturday evening. Sunday a relaxing day settled in .
All jokes aside today was a GREAT day. I KNOW I KNOW.................I did LQQK at the calendar I know what day it was. Not sure if the weekends chain of events led to the day, or pleasant well wishings for HAVE A GOOD DAY first thing in the morning, Or MAYBE if I am really LUCKY things are starting to LQQK better??? Who knows whatever it was I am not gonna ask (hehehe). I mean come ON now it cant be BAD everyday, sheeeeesh if it was like most days I would be standing on the side of the bridge trying to decided head first or feet for the full effect (LMAO).
I think it has much to do with the lil bird that whispers in my ear "Things will be OK!!" all the well wishings of " Have a good day", the lil reminders, "Thinking about you", dont forget the one that always gets a smile, " I cant WAIT to see you", and many more that bring a smile to my face everyday.
Well I think I will leave my corner of the world with the one gift I give abudently to all, my smile (for all those that are keeping score of it this one is REAL lol), May your day be a glorious reminder that somewhere under the sun everyone has someone that cares. If you LQQK hard enough you will find a reason to smile........................KEEP SMILING!!!!
Monday April 24, 2006 - 08:07pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 2 Comments
Entry for April 17, 2006
Just when things start to crumble and you look at the great abiss of your life in search of direction you quickly find when things can go wrong they will. NEVER SAY: IT CANT GET WORSE THEN THIS!!! I think i have made this my ramp section of the world (hehehehe). With that said i shall rant about thieves. I work my ass off everyday to provide a home for my family, I am a good person and do all i can for those around me. When someone comes along and decides that my life has no value or importance merely on the basis of they are out for a quick buck. As I went out saturday night trying to clear my head and exclude myself from my troubles i was suprised to fine my car window glass on the ground and my purse stolen. Now lets see here can you put a price on your belongings? Well to start spend all day with the bank to cancel checks, drive in town to obtain to drivers lic. As my luck tumbles being as school was about to start birth records and shot records were in my purse where i was going to register them for school. SO that puts me driving all over gastonia and shelby to replace them. Social security cards for us all, and to make it fun for laughs being as i am NOT a local , I get the pleasure of dealing with out of state agencies to obtain a copy of my birth certificate. Then for shits and giggles everyone wants original copies of identification to obtain copies. OK OK OK HERE IS YOUR SIGN Jack ass if I had them why in the sam hell would i be applying for lost ones. DUH HUH!!!! SO I ask what is the price of an idenitiy to a scoundrel??? HMMM I sure hope he exfoliates because he did get away with some very nice make up and products from bath and body works. Hay at least when he is rumiging through my life and my pictures of my family he will look good. I assume it to be a male figure as the precpetion of a woman bequeaths me to think when they looked into a purse that had visible evidence of children they would stop and think HAY wait a minute this is someones MOM. I ask the person to think if i went to your MOM's car how would you feel. TO feel violated hmmmm thats always a good feeling in the middle of day why not we had nothing else planned. So whats the verdict basically my dear my give a damn is busted and you are SOL ( to say it nicely hehehehe). Now the ironic part and the laughter falls from being a city girl and living in areas with a very large crime rate, going to school with knives in your pockets to protect yourself and do i get robbed there???? NO NEVER this is my first offense at the joys of tretchory, IN the end i say leave your pitty at the door and shove your: YOU SHOULD HAVE....up yours and sit and rotate on it for a spell. If we lived in the world of i should'v i could'v we would all be millionaires by now and living the life or riley. But for the sake of my sanity i leave you once more with tiffanys bitch & rant and wish you all the best......and always remember your life could be worse.....hehehe you could have mine!!! Tune in next time same station and channel ...hay who knows I might be nice next time.......................................................MAYBE!!Monday April 17, 2006 - 10:01am (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 2 Comments
Entry for April 12, 2006
Finally at my wits end......The bottom fell out and I cant see the top. The only reason I am still here is because of them. I continue to fight to make sure they have all I can offer. They will never understand all the pain and suffering I have went through to see to thier happiness. As many of you know because of them, I stay to myself, I dont let people into my life or my world and I keep them tucked away safely. I never want them to see the hardships I have faced or ever understand what it means to do without. I fear that time is nearing and I am at a loss. I vowed to myself they would never live as I did as a child. I did have for the most part a happy childhood but life was hard and lessons learned were the ones that stick for a reason. Once again I am forced into a postition I dont want to be in, have to reacess my priorites and get my life back on track. So if at anytime I am not for you the friend I have once been, the only reason is I am trying to find some way to get back on top of my life. I cant wait to find happiness for me in life, only though it seems that everytime I let myself go and feel anything again......Something in my life goes wrong. As if I am to feel guilty for wanting to be happy and doing something for myself. I have came to the conclusion there is NO time for me anymore and anything in passing which gave me a smile for ME will no longer be. I have to make sure they have everything they need. Being alone is not easy but giving up on them is not an option. So to all my friends we have been through many stages and had lots of talks along the way. We have shared, we have laughed, even cryed. Only Now I fear to say I can not allow myself to be that friend I was once. Everytime I turn my head off the direction I am suposed to be traveling, something happens and the bottom drops again. At this point I am trying to put a price on the value of independance, all though in itself is blissfull.....its also costly!!! SO if AGAIN (lol) I disappear for a period of time send your well wishings and good thoughts to wish me luck. Will be out trying to provide for them and not completely let myself die inside. An empty shell that walks through life with a giggle and a smile, dont assume that they are happy!! I am not sure yet what I am going to do, when I figure it out will get back to you and let you know. KEEP SMILING!!!! Makes em wonder what you are up to ( or in my case what am i hiding or running from)Wednesday April 12, 2006 - 06:19pm (EDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
Entry for April 08, 2006
A dark imprisonment shadowed by doubt, hatrid, and false promises. Daggers that bare their sheath in my heart are plunged by your hand. They drip of bloods poison cascading down my cheast. Your eyes are the vessels to your soul. They pronounce themselves through your demons in which enrage me. Your words pierce my being tearing away at my entrails. My world is enveloped in a haze of black. My prescence here shows no future as you entrap me. As I gaze upon your manipulations. my heart turns to stone. My eyes glass over in hatrid for you.
Then I shall be once and for all before you with a dagger. I errupt into a rage and tear the daggers from my chest in which you have held me by in contempt. As blood pours over my body, my soul is cleansed with disgust.
How dare you look at me with these alligations and promises of future. STAND UP!! Face your adverisity and prepare to repent for your sins in which you have trapped my soul. I denouce you as my wizard, you no longer grasp my chains. Cast upon I shall bare all the hatrid in which you have shown me. You shall no longer have prodimanance in my life.
I call into the night. I raise my hands to part the sky. Clouds I call unto thee in all my rage. Empower my hands with your strength.
Thunder begins to roar and pierce your ears. Are you scared? Do you now fear me and all the power I bring before you?
I trace the clouds with my fingertips and call unto them to S T R I K E. I throw my hand in front of you in warning, as a bolt of lightning crashes at your feet. Now fear this I say unto thee......I am the prosecuter of myself, I bare my own future, my power, and my will. You are nothing to me and hold no stregnth any longer.
Do you fear me now, if you have fear in your heart then you truly hold contempt. Drink from the cup of my poision, as it bares the blood in which you have drawn from my soul. Your idol threats and manipulations have no mercy here. Shall you now stand and face the endless demons you have thrown at my feet. Shall you beg for mercy and fear for your life. Or shall thee shed another tear of pitty in your false alligations of happiness. I dare not think I shall any longer live at your will.
I empload the skies with tretercious winds, thunder rattling the ground. Lightning bolts of fire and rains of acid pour down. I raise the dagger above my head as lightning burns around you. I shove the dagger through your heart, as your blood washes over my face. You plumient to the ground with tears in your eyes. You look at me and utter "Why?". I laugh as the warmth of your blood still lies on my lips. Ahhhhh the taste of revenge is bitter sweet. I watch as you gasp for your last breathes. I can see the life slowly drain from your soul. Tears continue to cascade down your face as you reach to me.
I grasp your hand and kneel at your side leaning down I whisper in your ear "Be greatfull the pain was quick, as it took many years for you to drain my soul."
As blood begins to drip from your lips you ask " Oh please my dearest Love grant me one last request. May your lips met mine for one last kiss?"
I oblige your request, as my lips touch yours in our last kiss. I draw the rest of your life from your body. I can taste the envy on your tounge as your last moments on earth you thought you were more of me. I rid you of this demension and send you to your final judgement, for I no longer need to prosocute you for these demons. I am finished of you and this I know I am now F R E E !!!
Courtesy of MsTags.com
