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Obsession Obsessive feelings are often mistaken for love because people rationalize that, “It must be love if I can’t think of anyone else.” Obsession is similar to lust but it is much more misleading and destructive. While lust is often fleeting, fading as two people come to know each other better, obsession sticks around once people have seen each other flaws and all. In fact, obsession can be made worse with time while lust always fades. Love can grow out of lust but obsession kills love every time. The more time and effort invested in an unhealthy obsession based relationship the more intense the obsession can become and the more damage is done. People in an obsessed state have a one-track mind where the other person is concerned to the point where they often lose touch with who they are as an individual. This loss of individuality creates a vicious circle of behavior where the obsessed person grows more and more dependant on the other person and on the relationship in general. Even so called unrequited love (love that is not returned) can become an overwhelming obsession. This is where obsession gets dangerous. When one person believes they are in a relationship that doesn’t truly exist, or when one person is more invested in an existing relationship than the other, the foundation for an obsession has been laid. So how do you recognize an obsession? There are signs. If all of your time and effort goes in to satisfying the needs of another or in chasing after another person then you are at risk of becoming obsessed. If one person is always trying to please the other person or if the relationship is without consideration and compromise then it could be based on obsessive feelings rather than real love. Real love is nurturing and helps people grow but obsession is debilitating and takes away from the psyche of the person caught up in it. If you feel like you have lost yourself, if you are always striving to please your partner without them doing the same for you, and if you find yourself making all your decisions in your life based on the feelings and needs of the other person you are obsessed and not in a real love relationship.